Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

DP is being so ignorent

(164 Posts)
MrsMissMs Fri 01-Aug-08 13:36:41

I've just had a row with DP. Its the first one we've had really and I feel so crap about it.

Its all over a holiday. Basically we're going to Orlando (me, my kids, him and his 2 kids). I have spent months organising everything and he keeps trying to challange me on everything I plan.

I've been before with my kids so I know how everything works. I booked a villa for us all (big party so was cheaper) but he wanted to stay in a nickalodeon hotel. I got him to see sense over that but that its everything else. He wants to go to disney to take his kids, I've been before and told him universal is better but he's insisting on wasting £500+ on disney tickets.

He wants to go to discovery cove, I don't. I've been before and I don't think its that great but he wants to waste another £400 on that.

The latest thing is that I want to do a trip to miami but he wants to stay i orlando for the entire two weeks.

I know its about compromise but I've been before and I know how it all is over there yet he refuses to listen to anything I say. Is this the early signs or a controller?

Iklboo Fri 01-Aug-08 13:38:47

You've been before but he hasn't - so he wants to see it. Would you be happy if he told you that you couldn't go somewhere and see stuff because he'd 'been there, done that'?
Can you compromise? He takes his kids to Disney & you do something else?

EffiePerine Fri 01-Aug-08 13:39:27

it's his holiday as well

'compromise' isn't him agreeing to everything because you have been there before

I'd be annoyed if my partner was saying 'oh but I KNOW how it works so we are doing X' without considering my wishes

lulumama Fri 01-Aug-08 13:39:42

sounds like you are controlling!

how can you go to orlando, home of disney, with children and NOT go..? universal far more adult orientated IMO. if he wants to take his children, who you should be thinking of as your children too, to disney, then IMO he should go.

you are not compromising, you are telling him what to do, because you have done it.

his children have not, why should they miss out becasue you have done disney?

if he can afford it, and wants to treat his children, then not for you to say not, simply becasue in your opinion it is not that great

averyquickex Fri 01-Aug-08 13:40:22

hmm. this is both of yours holiday isnt it?
so you have been before and say some things aren't great, but if he wants to go to disneyland, surely he has the right to?
I know its a lot of money, but maybe he just really wants to go to disney?

Is there any way you can have separate day trips and meet back at the hotel or something? so you dont have to do the things you dont want to, but he still gets to do those things he does want to?

Tortington Fri 01-Aug-08 13:41:09

you sound selfish - he hasn't done these things -

whats the effin point in going to orlando with kids who haven't been before and not going to disney?

themoon66 Fri 01-Aug-08 13:43:09

You sound like the 'controller'.

MrsMissMs Fri 01-Aug-08 13:43:12

Because its a waste of money!!

I'm taking the car so if he wants to go to boring sickly disney he'll have to walk or get the sodding bus and melt.

Iklboo Fri 01-Aug-08 13:44:18

Now that's just treating him like a child.
What fun your holiday is going to be hmm

Twinkie1 Fri 01-Aug-08 13:44:56

You sound really selfish.

You have to remember that he hasn't been before neither have his kids and he may like some things that you have discounted when he gets there - compromise/give and take is the name of the game here!

MrsMissMs Fri 01-Aug-08 13:44:56

It's just so pointless. It makes me so cross. Why can't we all just go to universal as a family instead of him having to do "His" thing. The whole point of this holiday was our first family holiday. I've told him kids how crap disney is and they don't even want to go anymore. He's just insisting on it to be spiteful.

melpomene Fri 01-Aug-08 13:44:58

YABU. Do your kids feel the same way as you about not wanting to go to Disneyland, or is that just your personal opinion? Personally I prefer Universal & Sea World to Disney too, but it seems pretty mean to travel to Orlando with kids and then not go to Disneyland.

Fimbo Fri 01-Aug-08 13:45:08

Why are you even going?

Orlando surely is all about Disney. If you don't like it don't go at all. Save your money for something else.

I feel sorry for your partner tbh.

melpomene Fri 01-Aug-08 13:46:06

How old are the kids?

Iklboo Fri 01-Aug-08 13:46:27

If you all go to universal you're all doing "your" thing!

MrsMissMs Fri 01-Aug-08 13:46:45

My kids thought disney was alright but a bit babyish. They're looking foward to going to universal but are upset that the other two won't be joining us. They were looking foward to going around it all together.

ThatBigGermanPrison Fri 01-Aug-08 13:46:56

You sound like a control freak, tbh, and he is better off going without you.

Your phrase "I know it's about compromise but" is just screaming for the ending "I don't want to compromise, so he should compromise more"

cancel the holiday, please. If you can't cope with him actually having wishes and opinions of his own, this holiday will be ruined for everyone involved.

mumblechum Fri 01-Aug-08 13:47:14

Blimey I think you are being well U.

MrsMissMsControllyPants should be your name

MrsMissMs Fri 01-Aug-08 13:47:14

My kids are 9 and 7 and his are 6 and 8.

pedilia Fri 01-Aug-08 13:47:19

I agree with the others, you sound like you want this holiday to compromise entirely of what you wnt to do, if it is a family hliday then surely you should bot get to do what you want. Just because you thought something ws rubbish doesn't mena he will to!

Lighten up!

MrsFluffleHasAWuffle Fri 01-Aug-08 13:47:36

Poor DP.

Imagine being all excited about something and planning what you want to do only to be told oh no we are NOT doing that just because I and my kids have done it already - what about him and his kids??

Seperate holidays in future I think!

PollyLogos Fri 01-Aug-08 13:47:43

hmm this relationship is going far shock

EffiePerine Fri 01-Aug-08 13:47:54

OK so either

2 trips, one to Universal, one to Disney


he takes the kids to Florida and you stay at home

nervousal Fri 01-Aug-08 13:48:26


MrsMissMs Fri 01-Aug-08 13:48:38

I'm not trying to be controlling sad I just want us all to have a good time as a family. I've been a single parent since my kids were more or less babies and I was so looking foward to a family holiday but he's spoiling it.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: