I have been in a relationship now for over a year. I met current BF on a dating site (please, no sighs) as I don't club and pub and have been abroad for most of my life having returned recently to the UK after a 26 years marriage/divorce. I have my youngest child with me (DD 10). I chose the dating site because social circle very small and all married etc. OK, that aside, BF and I met and we really liked each other. Usual thing, spoke lots on msn, webcam, calls, etc etc. He always comes to me as he lives about 2 hours away, works crazy hours and comes whenever he gets tha chance. He's a moralistic, kind sweet man with values and restored my confidence in the opposite sex (having fallen in with a few cads after the divorce) (which is all in the past and on distant shores). He has a child of 5 that he is raising with scant support from his ex and has a child minder (which are always changing, they are usually from Eastern Europe and short stay here). He has brought his DS to stay on occassions (lovely lad)and they have a good bond and he's a good father.
BF told me he works in a well known IT company but has lately been having a lot of racial slurs etc (BF is black)and finally handed in resignation (not due to racial slurs but from frustration and discontent). Fair enough. He was home for 3 weeks waiting for some kind of resolution to job problems (suspension with pay). This week he told me he has decided to go and work in the famous burger joint (Golden Arches)even if it means flipping burgers. He went for one days orientation and started the next day. I thought this was very gallant of him, in order to give himself structure and a pay cheque and to feel useful, its a quick easy solution to get out and work. I see nothing wrong with this at all.
You're probably all thinking AND???? The thing is, I think he has always worked there, and he has fibbed about what he did (with posh IT Co.,) in order to impress me and now he sees that I am not the slightest way materialistic and into status symbol trips, he has decided to turn it around, say he left his previous job, and has started where he is now.
I can't ask him this, because if he has lied all along, why did he lie? and how would he get out of that, and now he knows I am who I am and not someone looking for a guy with a fat wage and prestigious job,... but even though I don't know for sure and either way it has its 'awwwwness' about it, I do feel confused by it all.
We have talked of moving in together and sharing our lives etc, but I am scared now, without even knowing if my doubts have grounds. What should I do? I have gone through questioning him in my head, asking in a nice way, and then I think, why should it bother me? The fact that he works wherever is of no importance, but what about if it is true, he has worked there all along, and yet told me work based IT stories of previous job...and its all fantasy. I don't know what to do yet feel my inner disquiet is going to ruin things. What shall I do?
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Relationships
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Kally · 31/07/2008 20:22
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