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What do you do when you have a great friend, but can't stand the children?

(20 Posts)
SNoraWotzThat Wed 30-Jul-08 20:56:09

My dc's don't get on with their dc's.
Our dh's like each other, and will socialise together, with or without us. So the parents are OK. But when we are all together, with the kids it doesn't work.

Very awkward, have tried hard.

Anyone else experience this? Can you get past it, or are we doomed?

SNoraWotzThat Wed 30-Jul-08 21:01:37

doomed then

PussinJimmyChoos Wed 30-Jul-08 21:04:15

Hmm..its hard...I would sit down and chat with them about it tbh and take it from there as it sounds worth doing so.

I have a vague friend whose DS I can't stand...hes a full year younger than DS but the same height and a total vandal...horrible but true, so I've kind of distanced myself...but it hasn't been a problem as only vague friends but in your case, worth chatting about I would think...

SlartyBartFast Wed 30-Jul-08 21:04:34

think it is the way 90% of the time, i think they do it on purpose. cos you want them to be friends.

ScummyMummy Wed 30-Jul-08 21:06:46

I always hated my mum's friends' children. She rarely liked my friends' mums (one or two exceptions bath ways). We had a kind of mutual agreement that we'd have to lump it or all be friendless.

deepinlaundry Wed 30-Jul-08 21:52:52

I can't stand my best friends son, I've tried.I love my friend but her ds is the rudest, spolit littlt brat that I have ever met. He is a bully and I get palpitations thinking about him.Most children have something endearing about them, but if you can't work it through it's difficult.

I always make excuses to avoid meeting with children now . Could you do that?

SNoraWotzThat Wed 30-Jul-08 22:41:31

It;s true scummymummy as a child I didn't like my mum's friends children either. And their friendship was doomed.

deepinlaundry - true they do have some nice characteristics from their parents, or course, but on the whole they are vile!

slarty - we have told dc's they don't have to be friends, just to get along, but it's hard going (lots of eyerollling)

PJC - tried that, but might have to try again.

Doomed I reckon.

We haven't heard from some very good friends after I told them five months ago that we'd booked next years ski trip (without them). We always go togetehr but after last year and the pleasure of their child for the week I can't face it again. I think they're ignoring us now and its very sad.

SNoraWotzThat Wed 30-Jul-08 22:49:08

That is one thing I would not contemplate (I often talk about it, beacuse we get asked) but I would not go on holiday with friends.

giraffescantdancethetango Wed 30-Jul-08 22:49:26

what ages?

SNoraWotzThat Wed 30-Jul-08 22:50:28

8 - 12 ish

SNoraWotzThat Wed 30-Jul-08 23:10:29

I have been doing this for 5 years now

Dior Wed 30-Jul-08 23:14:11

Message withdrawn

SNoraWotzThat Wed 30-Jul-08 23:16:53

Funny you should say that Dior, I have emailed her to ask when the two of us can get together?

Dior Thu 31-Jul-08 13:25:51

Message withdrawn

Tommy Thu 31-Jul-08 13:28:12

very tricky IMO

I have a very old and dear friend whose children are all older than mine. I used to visit her 3 or 4 times a year before I had my children but the last time we went (with my DSs in tow) her children wouldn't let them play in their room and one of them kept complaining about DS1's behaviour sad
It's very difficult to met up without the children as they live too far away

OrmIrian Thu 31-Jul-08 13:30:13

Thank god that has never happened to us with friends! Generally my DCs get on with everyone.

Unfortunately my nephew has taken against my eldest son sad. DS#1 likes him and my other DCs get on OK with him and his sister. I suspect it's because my lad is physically confident and my nephew isn't. He calls my DS 'stupid'. Which he isn't. Makes life very dificult.

SNoraWotzThat Thu 31-Jul-08 20:05:27

Yes I can be tricky, more so as dcs get older, as I have found and you can't just say "we are off out" without explanation of where or how long for and will there be food on offer! blush

SNoraWotzThat Thu 31-Jul-08 20:06:03

Yes I can be tricky (I can)

but I meant "it" can be tricky

googgly Sun 03-Aug-08 21:16:31

Just found this. I have exactly the same prob as deepinlaundry. My bf's son is the same age as mine, but he is really a vile child. It's a real shame - I have to make excuses, but I think it's prob becoming a bit obvious now. I can hardly tell her the truth though. They're only 6, but ds has begged me not to be forced into this boy's company ever again, so that's that really.

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