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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Im so upset i cant stop crying

86 replies

ifeellikeshit · 30/07/2008 20:31

I feel very sad and ridiculous im very unhappy and have no one to talk to about it

OP posts:

Report

Electricgooberella · 30/07/2008 20:32

Fire away.

Have you name-changed?

SSSandy2 · 30/07/2008 20:32

because of something that happened today or do you feel like this generally?

wrinklytum · 30/07/2008 20:33

Oh dear

Will it help to post what is troubling you?

Coolmama · 30/07/2008 20:33

You've found a place here - there is always a hand for you to hold and a shoulder to cry on.

DiscoDizzy · 30/07/2008 20:33

Why you upset

llareggub · 30/07/2008 20:34

Hello, here is a good place to talk.

ifeellikeshit · 30/07/2008 20:39

Ive name changed.
God i cant even think to explain if that makes sense

OP posts:

ifeellikeshit · 30/07/2008 20:41

Its how i feel generally,
ive had a drink

OP posts:

girlnextdoor · 30/07/2008 20:42

Get a grip- and tell all

cornsilk · 30/07/2008 20:42

Why do you think you're ridiculous?

DiscoDizzy · 30/07/2008 20:43

We can't chat and help if you don't talk

llareggub · 30/07/2008 20:46

I've plenty of time

ifeellikeshit · 30/07/2008 20:47

Can i write a list for you???
I live somewhere where i have no real friends, no job, .....coming from an environment where i had lots of friends and a good but stressful job
Ive no family in this country...i havent always got on with them but they are my family and they will Always be there for me
Me and my fella have a strange relationship...I dont think he loves ,me
he's never here always at work etc
I have no financial independence...have no money of my own....he can go on night out but i cant buy my DD vests
how sad is this and my life

OP posts:

SSSandy2 · 30/07/2008 20:48

well my guess is it will have a lot to do with a man. If you don't feel like talking about what happened, just chat and take your mind off things.

Even men who seem to ooze good qualities when you meet them turn into godzilla when things go wrong. Maybe we women do too I don't know but I certainly keep seeing and hearing about men acting like total jerks towards the mothers of their dc, as if they left every shred of decency behind them. It's a bit weird.

Sorry if it's something utterly different!

SSSandy2 · 30/07/2008 20:49

oh sorry crossed posts. No, it doesn't sound great.

girlnextdoor · 30/07/2008 20:49

Questions- can you get a job? Can you go back home? Why no friends?

What is within your power to control and change?

ifeellikeshit · 30/07/2008 20:55

I could get a job but no childcare for ds 2 and dd 5 months. Also literally live in the middle of nowhere and dont drive...yes i know im a sad individual not to be able to drive but im too scared to start.
I could go home....but would probably lose dp...havent lived near my family for 10 years. Have lived here for 2 years...no friends because no one lives near here...

OP posts:

SSSandy2 · 30/07/2008 20:56

Would it be possible to move to a different place in the country where you now live where you might also be able to get an interesting job?

Would dh be willing to consider that?

As far as money is concerned, have you spoken to him about it? You mention not having money to buy essentials for your dd, can some kind of agreement be reached about your access to the money or how much of it is transferred to you for various things?

Any chance of a babysitter so you and dh can go out on the town together?

Electricgooberella · 30/07/2008 20:57

To lose your DP doesn't sound so bad actually.

ifeellikeshit · 30/07/2008 21:01

Have spoken to him loads of times about me having child benefit etc. but he says what will i spend it on?? Errr my children!! I feel like ive totally lost control of my life. Any time DP thinks that i might be close to rocking the boat he makes an effort and then it goes back to normal....

OP posts:

SSSandy2 · 30/07/2008 21:04

This doesn't sound good.

Don't know what he is thinking of really living in the back of beyond with a wife who is not given enough money and left to vegetate at home whilst he goes out having fun. How does he envisage this developping into a happy home? So I take it he isn't open to the suggestion of moving elsewhere atm.

How far away are your family? Could you and the dc go for an extended visit and would your family help you in that time (practically and financially) so you can think about it and discuss it and look into other options?

Electricgooberella · 30/07/2008 21:05

The only way to get through to a man is to state your case and keep forcing it home.
If he doesn't love you why are you torturing yourself with this man who would let you and your children go without the most basic of things?
The welfare system will take care of you if you were on your own.

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ifeellikeshit · 30/07/2008 21:09

Funny you should suggest that but only 2nite have decided to take dc ( maybe only the baby though) home for a few days... im in ireland...family in england. I was in two minds whether to take both dc, just in case i didnt come back

OP posts:

ifeellikeshit · 30/07/2008 21:10

Just dont know how i would cope on my own

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 30/07/2008 21:11

Take both and then you have the option

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