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Is it me? Am I just a miserable bitch in the morning? Or is it DH?

(14 Posts)
Twizzler Tue 29-Jul-08 08:04:21

OK, it does take me a little while to come round in the mornings but yesterday was SO tired and wanted an early night.

DS was playing up and didn't go to sleep until 9.15pm. DH came in around the same time so I thought "there goes my early night". Anyway, got to sleep about 10.30.

DS comes into our bedroom about 6.45 and because our window is open starts whining about being cold. (He is really whingy in the morning-like his mum?hmm I was desperately trying to wake up and then DH says "have you seen my......" (I get this nearly every morning). It was a letter he had mislaid-had not the foggiest idea where it was, he is always mislaying things.

Because I said no, it starts muttering "oh for fucks sake". Then, when I get annoyed that he is having a go at me and swearing in front of DS he says "oh mummy is in a bad mood again". This immediately turns my mood black, I storm out of bed to take DS downstairs and raise my voice slightly to tell him to stop whinging (he hasn't stopped for 10 mins) and DH says "I want you to see the Doctor about your moodiness".

I would have been fine if DH hadn't started on me. He does this a lot. Says things that really upset me and when I retaliate or shout because I am angry accuses me of being unreasonable and moody.

Opinions please!! Is it me or DH?

RubySlippers Tue 29-Jul-08 08:10:57

so you got 8 hours sleep or so

do you sleep well? do you wake feeling refreshed, ever?

8 hours sleep is a reasonable amount

You sound like you and your DH trigger each other - you are tired, he is stressed, he snaps, you snap and so on

BBBee Tue 29-Jul-08 08:11:58

from what you have said it is DP

ChirpyGirl Tue 29-Jul-08 08:12:05

Sounds like us when we are both knackered TBH.

I tend to say it is both of us being snippy and exhausted but maybe have a chat with dh when you are both calmer. DH has filthy mouth like me but after DD swore really badly he has (mostly) stopped apart from the odd word, but it means I can say something without him getting cross about being told off iyswim.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Tue 29-Jul-08 08:13:23

Both of you.
My DH is horrible in the mornings which I have complianed about on here. I hate it and try not to put up with it but to a certain extent it's just how it is and I have to accept it. I wouldn't bother trying to ask him anything important in the mornings, because I know I'll get an earful, so in one way your DH was provoking a situation needlessly.
On the other hand.....sometimes I do push it when I think he's being a moody cock, because I don't think he should just be allowed to get away with it, so no, being 'moody in the mornings' isn't a reasonable excuse. I don't get the luxury of being moody in the mornings even though sometimes I'd like to be....you know what I mean?

Anyway, I think this is a small thing but you are obviously wound up so moan away!

ChirpyGirl Tue 29-Jul-08 08:13:24

(oh, and it was him being a knob)

nik76 Tue 29-Jul-08 08:18:02

I understadn my DH is always putting things down and not knowing where, yesterday it was his wallet, the day before his car keys....in fact did I write this post as it sounds quite like my life!!!!

Twizzler Tue 29-Jul-08 08:23:20

Thanks everyone!

Have calmed down a bit now. Have coffee. I don't ever really feel that refreshed in the morning. I need a lot of sleep (DP doesn't and can function on 6hrs or less)and can be very dopey in the morning but DP is always saying "oh mummy is in a bad mood again" or "What is wrong with you" "You're such a moody bitch/cow in the mornings".

He is always asking me things when I'm half asleep and gets really annoyed when he doesn't get the answer he wants.

Twizzler Tue 29-Jul-08 08:26:39

LOL nik76, have been posted before on another thread?!

My DH is always having a go at me for losing things but he is just as bad if not worse than me!

On our first date he lost his car keys and was stomping around upstairs, swearing (nearly put me off-should I have listened to my inner voice?hmm).

They were on top of his car.

Amethyst86 Tue 29-Jul-08 09:11:44

Tell him to leave you alone first thing in the morning, just a small thing but I bet a lot of rows would be avoided. The "Mummy is in a bad mood again" things sends me through the roof anytime of day tbh.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Tue 29-Jul-08 09:44:54

Twizzler - I agree he needs to accept it's just how you are. I leave my DH alone most of the time in the morning and help him out by making packed lunch/cup of tea so he can wake up slowly. Sometimes he does my head in but as long as he thanks me for the tea and doesn't behave like a twat I leave him be. Sometimes he is a twat being really grumpy and demanding and that's when we row. Talk to your DH, explain what you need and what you will do in return (peace and quiet in the morning, try not to be snappy or whatever) it's all about compromise.

Twizzler Tue 29-Jul-08 09:46:26

Me too Amethyst.

Totally disagree with him dragging DS into it. He shouldn't get him involved-that's what annoys me more than anything.

Twizzler Tue 29-Jul-08 09:51:41

Thanks kat.

The thing is, I'm not always in a bad mood in the morning. Just a bit dozy. I will often stumble out of bed, eyes half closed and he will make some sarky comment which immediately puts my back up.

He has had the benefit of a shower, coffee etc. before I get up and most of the time doesn't leave me to wake up slowly. He'll be talking to me expecting me to have a normal conversation and know where things are before my brain has even engaged.

abbieslife Tue 29-Jul-08 23:06:30

Hi. Don't know if this will help, but me and my DH made a rule which helped us! When we first became parents and couldn't cope with night feeds, we were bitchy to each other constantly. Quite often we would have rows, and not speak for the whole of the next day, but it would only start because we were so tired. Wwe eventually made a rule that what was happened in the nighttime stayed in the nighttime- so any sniping was just put down to tiredness, and was forgotten about the nextday. We are both ratty in the mornings, and eventually extended this rule to mornings too... so now we only try to have meaningful conversations when we're fully awake!! It works for us, might be worth a try.

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