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My brother was violent to dp, But I think he needs help....

(9 Posts)
sh1tfamily Sun 27-Jul-08 23:29:06

My brother is only 17 and I feel he needs counselling, we were having a family day out and he drank way too much and could not handle his drink.

My dp was trying to look out for my brother and keep an eye on him all day. Anyway he got into a fight and we managed to convince the police to let us take him home. But on the way home he started trying to fight with dp, then cut him with some glass on his neck...

Dp should of had stiches but couldn't as had to go to work but he is fine now...

Then while dp was at work (doing the night shift) my brother came to my house to fight dp saying that HE has got glass in his head and has been hurt by dp. (He didn't remember cutting dp with glass).

So later when another family member told him wht happened he apoligised to dp. He has scence tried to contact me twice and I have not replied.

This all happened a few weeks ago and me and dp are not speaking to my brother.

But I really feel he has got anger and emotional problems that need to be dealt with.

I am angry with him and dissapointed with him but still care about him and want him to get some help. It could make him a better person as he is now very selfish and not as nice as he used to be.

I'm not sure if I should wash my hands of him or not. I think maybe I should tell him that if he gets some help then in the future we could rebuild our relationship.

But I feel that I also need to show dp that I m not just letting my brother get away with it, and his behaviour was not accetable.

sh1tfamily Sun 27-Jul-08 23:29:28

Sorry forgot to say, what would you do??

themoon66 Sun 27-Jul-08 23:33:59

It's late so you may not get many replies.

Your brother is only 17 (my DS is 17) and still child in many ways.

You sound like a lovely caring sister. Can you get your brother to go to his GP.. go with him if you can. Ask for a referral for counselling.

He is lucky to have such a caring sister as you. Your DP sounds like a good bloke too.

sh1tfamily Sun 27-Jul-08 23:38:08

Yes my dp is very good with children and teenagers, I would not of blamed him for beating up my brother, but I'm very glad he didn't...

I do care about him alot and have done loads for him as our parents have not been there for him.

I feel that he really should go to his gp and ask for counselling but I'm not sure if I should go with him. As I feel that he needs to feel I am not happy with him and will not help him as I usually do. (I am normally very soft on him and he takes advantage, so feel i need to make a stand this time).

themoon66 Sun 27-Jul-08 23:40:10

its very late... bump this thread in the morning and I bet you get loads of help.

I need to go bed now. good luck.

sh1tfamily Sun 27-Jul-08 23:45:58

Thanks, yea i know I will bump it again in the morning...

QuintessentialShadows Sun 27-Jul-08 23:49:40

He does not need councilling. He needs family, love and support. In my opinion.

He is obviously troubled, and you have cut him off? He is 17 fgs, and you say your parents have not been there for him.

Has anyone been there for that young man?

alipiggie Mon 28-Jul-08 00:13:05

She hasn't cut him off, she's asking for advice and sounds truly concerned about how to deal with what he did. What he did cannot go "unpunished' but likewise it does sound like he needs to talk to someone about his anger. Poor him and poor you. For a start stop him drinking like that. Not sensible particularly at his age. Alcohol can make people very angry and if he drinks to such an excess at such an early age, he's in need of help. Try Youth Counselling - could be very much what he needs.

sh1tfamily Mon 28-Jul-08 20:37:58

i have not cut him off, but feel that i need to show i am not happy with his behavior...

i love him alot and really want him to get back on track, i have helped him out alot and made him come live with me so i could look after him, but he put alot of strain on me and stressed me out.

i managed to get him into college so that he is not wasting his life away. But I can not put myself under alot of pressure looking after him as i have got my own dc who i have to look after...

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