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Am I abnormal? My husband thinks so

(38 Posts)
vannah Sun 27-Jul-08 21:47:48

Just after some quick opions here.(sorry this may seem trivial in comparison to whats happening on the boards here, but really upset to be called abnormal)
We are arguing over the fact that I am 'abnormal' because I am not really into beach holidays by the sea. Three reasons for this:
1. as a child my parents took me around everywhere each summer, we did a lot of sightseeing, and virtually no sitting around on a beach. So Im not familiar with it. Im also asian and not keen on sunbathing/tanning as my husband is.
2. My husband has a lovely habit of eyeing up anything remotely pretty and I dont feel very good about sitting on a beach with a person who makes me feel bad.

3. My youngest is 7 months old and my toddler is nearly 3, I dont like the idea of exposing them to a hot sunny beach all day.

Therefore, am I abnormal?
I should add that this comes after I refused to join my husband's sister and mother on a beach holiday - not the nicest of inlaws. The three of them are quite heated up over my refusing a beach holiday using the very genuine excuse that we are saving up this year.

thanks in advance for your opions...

pinkspottywellies Sun 27-Jul-08 21:50:38

God no. You sound perfectly sensible.

My family never did beach holidays and while I don't mind that kind of holiday I certainly wouldn't make the effort to arrange it with small children in tow and a arsehole dh who would no doubt be too busy eyeing up the totty to help with the children!

PootyApplewater Sun 27-Jul-08 21:50:49

Of course you're not abnormal. hmm

Who would want to holiday anywhere with unpleasant inlaws, and a DH with a roving eye so bad that it makes you feel bad.

Your DH should want a family holiday somewhere where all of you will have fun.

Let DH go with his sister and mother, and you take the children somewhere nice - or just enjoy a few days at home together. smile

AbbeyA Sun 27-Jul-08 21:55:37

You are perfectly normal. I can't sit in the sun so am not keen on hot beaches.

Psychomum5 Sun 27-Jul-08 21:56:15

nooooo.....not abnormal at all.

I also do not like beachy holdays, and DH says similar about me, but the difference is that he says it in a joking loving way rather than to make me feel bad over it.

I hate sand TBH, gets everywhere and you take half the beach home, and me with my very pale skin also gets burnt!

I do go to the beach more tho now that the children are older as I no longer have to watch them so much (well, we tend to only go with DH and he does a fab job of beach games while I hide in the sun tent and read), and they can help carry all the supplies we tned to need.

you need to find some compromise, and say that once the children are older you will venture more to the beach with them, but when they are this tiny it is no fun for anyone.

RuthT Sun 27-Jul-08 21:58:03

I can see why they suggested a beach hol as toddlers generally love them. Me cab't bear them unless single and can stay in shade and read all day.

I think I would go on one if company was good. Clearly not the case here!

gagarin Sun 27-Jul-08 21:58:31

Not at all! My family are very fair skinned so beach holidays are ridiculous for many of them.

My brother also hates the feel of sand so stands up on the beach all day sighing.

You are not abnormal.

mylovelymonster Sun 27-Jul-08 22:00:37

You are not abnormal at all. Some like beach holidays, some don't. I don't, but I don't mind spending an hour or so at the beach but would rather be doing lots of other stuff, and with young children I'd rather have a home-base with a pool and go to the beach early morning / late afternoon with the LOs for a play & a paddle.

llareggub Sun 27-Jul-08 22:01:09

Frankly I think you are perfectly normal.

I am the same, although we do like a trip to the seaside on a sunny, warm but not hot day. My DS loves playing on the beach.

mrsleroyjethrogibbs Sun 27-Jul-08 22:01:15

nope not normal. as a fellow asian married to a british hubby i can understand the need not to want a 'extra' tan. TBH my dh is not that intrested in beach hols, but he shouldnt make you feel bad either way. HOpe you sort it out

vannah Sun 27-Jul-08 22:01:34

many thanks for these replies, I feel instantly happier and definately sane.

hatwoman Sun 27-Jul-08 22:02:24

It's abnormal not to be able to understand that not everyone likes beach holidays.

booge Sun 27-Jul-08 22:03:44

Not abnormal at all, but we've just had a day on the beach in North Devon with our 3 and nearly 2 dc and they had such a lovely time building sand castles and playing in the shallow waves. How about a daytrip?

mylovelymonster Sun 27-Jul-08 22:04:34

I don't think I know anyone that goes on holiday just to sit on the beach, come to think of it.........

I did know someone when I was younger who went on a two week beach holiday....came back looking 10 years older/leathered grin

MatNanPlus Sun 27-Jul-08 22:05:33

Not abnormal at all IMO.

I don't do more than a days lying on a beach, not for me, gritty, boring, noisy.

hmm surely the idea of saving is to cut expenditure not splurge?

ConstanceWearing Sun 27-Jul-08 22:26:00

XH used to pose on beach, like:

"hey girls - have you seen me? Have you checked me out?"

whilst I chased 6 small children in different directions over a mile or so of sand.

So you have my every sympathy, and if you enjoyed this, quite honestly, then you'd be abnormal.

mylovelymonster Sun 27-Jul-08 22:31:49

Oh Constance. What a jerk!! Did he wear an attractive posing thong? smile

Anglepoise Sun 27-Jul-08 23:18:45

Nope, hot beaches are boring and unpleasant.

Can you not do something else during the day though?

stitch Sun 27-Jul-08 23:19:55

a beach holiday is my idea of a nightmare

edam Sun 27-Jul-08 23:21:58

You are not abnormal. But you are far too forgiving - why are you putting up with a man who insults you and eyes up other women in front of you?

ProfYaffle Sun 27-Jul-08 23:24:56

Ugh, I hate hate hate beach holidays. Can just about tolerate a day trip for the sake of the dc's so long as we have sun tent and factor 40. Most of my friends feel the same. You are not abnormal.

Elasticwoman Sun 27-Jul-08 23:31:42

Beach holiday with young dc is v hard work. Any holiday with another family, even siblings or in-laws - even more stressful.

Stick to your guns.

themoon66 Sun 27-Jul-08 23:46:55

You need to pick the 'right' beach and your DH needs to keep the LOs safe and amused so you can just lie there and read books wink

THAT is the secret of a good day at the beach.

PortAndLemon Mon 28-Jul-08 00:12:15

I don't like beach holidays in general. I burn easily, am allergic to uv light, and find that sand gets everywhere. We did find a nice beach for a couple of days on honeymoon, but in general -- nope.

bubblepop Mon 28-Jul-08 08:05:54

ooh no,your definately not 'abnormal'. Im not keen on beaches myself as im pale skinned and tend to burn easily..I will force myself to go to the beach for a couple of hours if the rest of the family want to..but after while find im quite bored..the kids have got sand in their eyes/bums,they usually need the toilet and there is'nt one (you get the picture)..still it sounds as if your dh is annoyed with you for not wanting to do what he there no compromise?

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