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Trivial but feeling sad... what would you do

(10 Posts)
Persianvase Sun 27-Jul-08 08:38:51

My first ever post, and after reading some of the others I realise that its quite trivial but I would really appreciate some outside opinions.

My DH and I have been having some quite severe problems but this weekend had a breakthrough. After being to counselling we seem to be really getting somewhere and we had a good heart to heart yesterday. Then, last night we had sex and afterwards he put his arms round me and said.. "You feel smaller. Which is a good thing"

I felt horrified. After some clarification it turns out he'd felt I could 'lose a few pounds'. To clarify, I am a size 12. Feel really hurt, but also torn, if he feels this (which obviously he does!) then I suppose he should feel he could be honest with me. But now I feel fat and ugly and NEVER WANT TO SLEEP WITH HIM EVER AGAIN!! Please has anyone got any thoughts on this? x

MarkStretch Sun 27-Jul-08 08:41:53

God they say some twatty things. He probably regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth.

RubySlippers Sun 27-Jul-08 08:43:36

the timing stinks

of course you feel like that - if someone criticises you like that after having sex you aren't going to be feeling brill

if you are a size 12 then you aren't over weight

have you told him how his comments made you feel?

if not, then of course you should

SquiffyHock Sun 27-Jul-08 08:47:12

It's great that you were able to be open and honest with each other which is probably what led him to blurt out such a rubbish statement!! Sometimes boys just aren't very good at saying the right thing.

TBH - I gained a lot of weight over my two pregnancies and when I lost it last year I did think about what DH must have thought when I was bigger. (I do realise that a size 12 is hardly porky though!!)

You have 2 options; let it go or discuss it some more with him. If you are beginning to resolve your problems I would be inclined to let it go (just come on here and swear about what a monsterous twat he is grin)

ladytophamhatt Sun 27-Jul-08 08:52:08

I would have said "funny that, so did you....has your wanger shrunk"

See how he likes it.

Sorry, I'm being flippant. I hope he explains himself and you feel better about his shitty comment.

Hassled Sun 27-Jul-08 08:52:28

What a stupid, thoughtless, hurtful thing to say. Don't really know what to advise but I understand why you feel horrified and upset - it's not trivial. I don't think I could just let it go if it were me - I'd want to thrash it out, if only so he realises he can never make that sort of insensitive comment again.

Persianvase Sun 27-Jul-08 08:52:47

Thank you for responding. Its so weird, part of me wants to try to forget it so as not to jepardise the progress we made over the weekend.

And part of me wants to smack him in the mouth

And he wants to talk about it now but I just don't want to. I used to be a size 8 (before I met him) and do feel sensitive about my weight as after having a baby I'm not as thin as I once was. When I met him I was a size 10 / 12 and now am more a 12.

And what gets me the most is that when I met him he weighed 17 stone!! His friends are all typical lads, most of them are either a bit ugly or fat or whatever and stand around saying a size 8 beautiful girl should "lose a bit of weight" ARGHHHHHHHHH

DorrisMcWhirter Sun 27-Jul-08 19:23:01

He can be a bit of a twonk, we both know this (To all confused, I know PV in RL smile )but he generally has a good heart!
He's probably got a bit carried away with the new open-ness of thew relationship and shared a little too far! BTW Of course you do not need to lose a few pounds, you are quite stunning exactly as you are madam!
Pleased to hear counselling is otherwise working for you two.
Oh, and next time you sleep with him, halfway through obligatory BJ, stop and go 'Oh.....' then go quiet. He will ask what is the matter, you just reply 'Oh, nothing dear' and proceed to obviously measure up his wang! Should knock that level of 'open-ness' on the head!! grin

Persianvase Sun 27-Jul-08 19:40:07

That made me laugh out loud and spit tea everywhere!

And, trust me, there'll be no bjs, obligatory or otherwise, for the foreseeable future grin

DorrisMcWhirter Sun 27-Jul-08 19:41:17

Now that will get the message across!!

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