to anyone thats spilt up/divorced when did you realise it was over?

[lovelysongbird]

?

[ChasingSquirrels]

hum, well when ex-H came home and said it was over. I am still struggling to come to terms with it.

[notasheep]

He said " I dont want the responsibility or commitment anymore"
So then it was over

[eidsvold]

when I got home one day to a letter left on the kitchen table from my ex husband telling me he had left with my best friend who had also left her husband that day.

[JumpingDizzy]

I knew 2 years before I left but couldn't leave because dh was under a lot of stress.
We're still good friends though once the dust settled. We had lived like brother and sister though.

[lovelysongbird]

sorry to hear this cs nas ad v must of been quite a shock to say the least

jd, do you think your dh was shocked or expecting it?

[JumpingDizzy]

he was shocked to the core. I tried everything to save our marriage but it was one sided. Sometimes people take others for granted though.

[liahgen]

when my then 6 yr old dd told me

"You're not even cross with me, you're cross with daddy and that's not fair"

had just really told her off for something really not very important.

[charliecat]

About 6 months before i finally ended it for good. Was waking up thinking i cant do this anymore. Looking at him thinking i didnt want to be with him anymore. The final straw, I think was him getting out of bed and making himself a coffee and not making me one.
I was well aware of the fact that if I was a new girlfriend he would be making me a coffee and asking if i wanted toast with it...
Didnt wanna live with someone that thought so little of me, wasnt doing me any good.

[liahgen]

at notdoingthehousework. same ex spiked my drink in same way once, scared the life out of me.

[Monkeytrousers]

it's not over till it's over. Those is the facts

[lovelysongbird]

thanks for sharing that with me.

lifes hard sometimes.

[fanjolina]

what's your situation lovelysongbird?

[lovelysongbird]

oh me and dh had a row last night
hes getting stressed at work etc
but he said sorry to day and that he wont reaise his voice in front of our baby again

[fordfiesta]

it ended when i lost my respect for him.....still loved him though!
Hope you get sorted. xx

[ranting]

Well I pretty much knew it was doomed when the first thing he said to me after we married was 'You're mine now'. It took me 8 months and the sudden thought that if I was going to be accused of having an affair with the bloke at work/window cleaner/milkman/binman, I may as well actually have one, that I realised I had to end it. Never got round to the affair though!

[Ohireallyshouldnt]

When i was walking through the drizzly rain with my 18m son in a pushchair to feed the ducks at 5.30pm on a Sunday night in October 2004. Its that specific. My husband had just come home from London after another weekend bender of drink and coke (he was in a band and playing a gig). I had been alone all weekend (again) and he was lying on the sofa "resting". My hair was frizzing up, i was sobbing, my son was saying "quack quack" and i hated my husbands guts all of a sudden. It was never the same again and we split within a month.

[VictorianSqualor]

The morning after I had caught him with someone else and he said to me 'What happened to your face?' (he'd given me a black eye for having a go at him..)
It took me a week to actually do it though.

[littlewoman]

When I stopped trying to rescue a situation that was beyond my control, and cut him out of my life.

[beanieb]

When my feelings for someone else became so strong I couldn't ignore it.

But I did know it was crap for about 6 years when his drinking got heavier and I stopped caring where he'd been all night. I just wasn't brave enough to do anything about it.

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

I knew things hadn't been going well for a while as we never spent any time together.

However the light bulb moment came when my now ex-h told me to be quiet as I was keeping him awake when I was sobbing in bed because I was so unhappy and lonely.

[fawkeoff]

i suppose it was over when i started seriously questioning if i couls be with him and lwt him see other women i just didnt want the sexual relationship with him at all.....i can honestly say that i did it out of duty, but i was just so scared to be on my own.......things came to a head a few months ago, and he has someone new........knew it was right because i dont care one bit

[fuzzywuzzy]

Ermm realised it was over when I discovered he'd emptied out our joint bank account......

[RambleOn]

Only weeks ago. I have just found out he is having an affair and I am pg with our second DC. I was alternating between wailing on the sofa and puking in the kitchen sink.

When I looked in the garage, he was singing and dancing (literally) to the radio without a care in the world.

Turns out he was fitting a towbar to his van so he could pull a caravan for weekends away with his other foetus woman (she is only 17yo)

Haven't cried about losing him from this moment on. Only from my DCs losing their father

[sandy4]

when he kicked the cat