I hope it's ok for me to post here and that this is the right place to post. I feel a bit of a fraud cos I'm not actually a mum, I come on mumsnet to lurk occasionally when I feel broody to read about mum stuff and have done for a little while - I hope you don't think that's too weird. I thought MNerse might be the right people to 'talk' to about this.
I am 25 and have been with my OH for 6 years, he is 26. We are deeply committed to each other, very much in love and what my mother calls 'not the marrying kind' (ie just not that fussed on marriage, if he asked I'd say yes but not want a big fussy day. I don't dream of white dresses). We've been through uni together and now I am at the start of a professional career, and he is at the beginning of a creative/vocational career although hasn't had as much success as me yet, which is an issue but we've discussed and dealt with it.
He's not ready for children yet, and whilst emotionally I feel I am, I have things I want to do with my career first, and things I feel we need to do for him to feel ready (the usual be more financially secure, travel more etc, also his career needs to go somewhere). We've talked about the future though and there's a loose '5-year plan' as I call it and I hope we'll be thinking about becoming parents around the time we're 30.
Now two things terrify me; one that he'll turn round and decide after all he doesn't want children and I'll have 'wasted' all my fertile years on him and be heartbroken - no way to calm those fears apart from tell myself to get a grip!! The other is that when we finally do decide to try that it'll be too late and we won't be able to. We had a vague discussion once over what we'd do if that happened - I'm of the opinion that I'm not sure I'd want to meddle with IVF etc and would prefer to go straight to adoption, wheras he thought he could never feel the same about 'another man's child' (egg donation is ok though! cheek!). Obviously we'd never know unless it happened.
The upshot of these worries is that lately I've been feeling much more broody than normal, spending time reading parent-y stuff on here, find myself fantasising about what I'd call my children, things I'd do with them, places I'd take them, vaguely looking at toys in shops, the other day I was walking home past a park and watching the mums with little children felt incredibly jealous. I've always loved cooking and baking, recently have been refining some recipes and in my head it's so I'll be good at them when I have children.
I know this is all emotional/hormonal stuff; I'm happy with our lives at the moment and I think the 5-year plan is a good one. I don't know what we'd do if we fell pg now! Well I know I'd go ahead but 'we' may not survive. But has anyone got any tips on how I can get past the broodiness so I can get on with my life now and not ruin everything by beeing broody??? Any inspirational tales of motherhood in your thirties after waiting like us??? Or just tell me all the bad bits of being a parent and put me off!!! Please!?
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Relationships
Need to stop feeling broody, children aren't the plan yet!
FeelinBroody · 23/07/2008 11:23
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