Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Question about rough sex - is it ok or unhealthy?

(73 Posts)
sexquery Tue 22-Jul-08 23:23:13

I promise I am not a troll...

I like rough sex, but I find that some men are a bit uneasy about it. Recently I've met someone who's happy to do it but I've heard it said that a man who enjoys being rough probably has violent tendencies and could therefore be dangerous.

What are your opinions?

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 22-Jul-08 23:25:36

Message withdrawn

solo Tue 22-Jul-08 23:27:33

Rough how?

sexquery Tue 22-Jul-08 23:27:54

oh dear is it so unusual that you don't understand what I mean? I am not sure how taboo it is tbh...

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Tue 22-Jul-08 23:28:42

okay if you enjoy it not okay if you dont! simple as that! every likes different things and if thats what works for you go for it!

i dont think rough sex = violent nature unless they are doing it when you dont want them too!

davidtennantsmistress Tue 22-Jul-08 23:29:56

hmm, possibly a bit of truth, possibly rough sex = dominance of man etc.

I think to a degree it depends how far the other person is willing to take it.

BreeVanderCampLGJ Tue 22-Jul-08 23:31:00

This is either just home from the pub troll.

Or teenage boy tires of squeezing spots and posts on MN troll.

Either way, not worthy of any further attention.

sexquery Tue 22-Jul-08 23:32:52

I mean hair pulling, biting, spanking and crushing, etc. I like this but find that men in the past have been a little unnerved by it (current partner is very into it, however). I am concerned that I am somehow not normal/have issues.

sexquery Tue 22-Jul-08 23:34:46

BreeVanderCamp - I am not a troll. It annoys me when people automatically assume that. And to prove it I have been on this site for years and know that you used to be called LapsedGymJunkie.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Tue 22-Jul-08 23:35:09

whats 'normal'? if you have given him permisson and he is happy to go along with it i think thats normal! just enjoy and stop worrying about it! he is probably just trying to please you sexually not showong his violent side! unless he initiated it all out of the blue without checking with you first?

ThatBigGermanPrison Tue 22-Jul-08 23:36:29

If he stops as soon as you ask him to, and you are both happy with it, go go go.

BreeVanderCampLGJ Tue 22-Jul-08 23:39:42

Fair point, but equally these next six weeks are going to be strange.

Re Lapsed Gym Junkie.............Fark me, you are a lifer. grin

sexquery Tue 22-Jul-08 23:41:10

I am indeed grin

BreeVanderCampLGJ Tue 22-Jul-08 23:43:35


And on that note, Goodnight.

Waiting on slides to come in overnight from the MD, who is an other time zone.

They have not arrived, and I feel justified in going to bed.

MsPontipine Tue 22-Jul-08 23:44:00


onceinalifetime Tue 22-Jul-08 23:44:48


Zebraa Tue 22-Jul-08 23:45:46

You are perfectly normal. Rough sex, by my understanding, is simply anything other than regular sex. It's not abnormal to enjoy rough sex and it most certainly doesn't make him a violent person! Just relax and have fun together. I have to say, I have absolutely NO idea what you mean by ''crushing'... it surely can't be what I'm picturing in my head?! Ha!

sexquery Tue 22-Jul-08 23:46:38

crushing me.....but I thought of that time Lesley Ash got a cracked rib. I have a feeling it could go too far. No, he never checked with me first but I happen to like it.

Zebraa Tue 22-Jul-08 23:49:38

I'm going to wikipedia because I'm too afraid to delve deeper into this crushing thing on here...

Wezzle Tue 22-Jul-08 23:49:47

I think it's fine when it's between 2 consenting adults

becomes unhealthy if either one of you wants to do something that the other isn't comfortable with

as long as that's not the case, just continue to enjoy it

solo Tue 22-Jul-08 23:56:01

Crikey! I must be a fan too! hair pulling and hands round throat, bit of bondage, pain...not that I get laid these days.<sigh>
There's nothing wrong with it as long as it's mutually consensual. Enjoy it if that's what you are into without worry or guilt.
And ladies who baulk...don't knock it until you try it. wink

madamez Wed 23-Jul-08 00:00:30

FFS never mind about what's 'normal'. Some people like dressing up as Tellytubbies and bonking in a paddling pool full of custard - nothing wrong with that as long as they are consenting adults. Oh and it's rubbish that people who like rough sex or SM are automatically 'dangerous' - OK some of them are going to be arseholes but plenty of 'straight' people are arseholes and abusers as well. Don't judge a person by his/her sexual tastes, judge them by their manners.

MrsMacaroon Wed 23-Jul-08 00:03:56

well look where it got Leslie Ash...


dittany Wed 23-Jul-08 00:11:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

solo Wed 23-Jul-08 00:18:55

Not that kind of hair can be very sensual and loads of women like it. Hands around the throat can be too and not necessarily just depends on your tastes, experiences etc...there are many many fetishes and they are not abusive surely, unless it is done against your will?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now