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I felt AWFUL today, put my foot in it badly :(

(7 Posts)
Litterbug Sat 19-Jul-08 20:00:20

Rang my friend, who told me a few weeks ago she was pregnant with DC4, she has 3 boys already.

The reason for ringing was to tell her I was expecting a girl after 2 boys.

She is really desperate for a daughter and she knew as soon as I rang I was having a girl, she seemed really pleased and called me a b*tch! (in a playful way, thats how she is!!)

I told her not to worry and Im sure she was having a girl this time too! Part of me hesitated before saying it for unknown reasons but I did anyway but then she told me she had lost the baby

I felt so shitty

I managed to stay on the phone a while longer, just kept saying 'im so sorry' ect...

then burst into tears when I got off the phone.

This is her 4th MC and I just feel awful, I know its not my fault but I rang to tell her I was having a girl, like she has always wanted and she had been through all that grief.

Shit

lulumama Sat 19-Jul-08 20:02:40

it is not your fault. you were excited about your news. i am sure she knows you would not deliberately have hurt her.. even if you had been phoning to say you were having a boy, she most likely would still feel upset as she has lost her baby....how many weeks was she?

just ring her again tomorrow and ask her how she is doing and if you can do anything for her..

nickytwotimes Sat 19-Jul-08 20:03:17

You weren't to know.

Try not to feel bad. sad

MamaG Sat 19-Jul-08 20:04:00

I agree with lulu (as usual)

You weren't to know, you shouldn't feel bad

for you both

constancereader Sat 19-Jul-08 20:04:09

I'm so sorry - that sounds very stressful and upsetting. But do remember that your friend knows you wouldn't upset her intentionally, a few people were accidentally tactless around me after my miscarriage and I can honestly say that I didn't hold it against them! I'm sure you will continue to be there for her, so try not to worry.

windygalestoday Sat 19-Jul-08 20:04:26

ohhh dear .....you cant help it i know and she was at some point soon going to meet someone pregnant.....i think the best way is to go and see her and see how the convo goes maybe she wants to talk about the baby she lost maybe she wants to talk about yours maybe baby talk will be off the agenda-either way talk to her soon or it will get more awkward.

Litterbug Sat 19-Jul-08 20:04:29

She was in early stages, must've been about 8 weeks when the loss happened.

I will ring her tomorrow.

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