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Does anyone else's DH treat everything like a bloody competition!? All I said was that I had a lie in trhis morning because I had a stressful week!!!

(20 Posts)
schneebly Sat 19-Jul-08 11:20:44

Then he comes back with "eh? you have had a stressful week!? What about me? Ha!"

Yes he has had an exceptionally busy week it is true but that doesn't mean that I haven't! Work has been hellish, I have had the kids with me every day, summer just here and they are bickering already and we have barely seen him. He can sleep all bloody weekend if he wants to - he is asleep now.

I wasn't trying to belittle his hard work just trying to justify my own tiredness. sad Now I have to try and keep the kids quiet so he can sleep and not be such a grumpy shit! angry

Piffle Sat 19-Jul-08 11:24:32

competitive tiredness...
Tis wearing we do it too I've given up now..
We both workhard we are both knackered always!

landj Sat 19-Jul-08 11:25:23

Oh God thats so familiar. My DH is the only one allowed to be tired because he works soooo hard. His life is so much more stressfull than mine, I dont have to worry about anything. God thay can be real tw*ts sometimes.

Dior Sat 19-Jul-08 11:26:27

Message withdrawn

schneebly Sat 19-Jul-08 11:26:57

Yes I didn't think I'd be the only one!

I 'only' work 14 hours per week so I am not entitled to be tired.

lulu25 Sat 19-Jul-08 11:28:47

same here

it was my turn for a lie in this morning, and i've been ill so really needed it, and i got "but i only had 5 hours' sleep last night" - er, yeah, that's because you were out drinking until 2??

gonaenodaethat Sat 19-Jul-08 11:51:56

You are not alone.
I asked my husband if he could occasionally put some washing in the machine and he said
'I will, but I'll then drop a day at work and make you do an extra day'.(He does 5 days and I do 3)


I'm still not talking to him.

PussinJimmyChoos Sat 19-Jul-08 11:59:49

If sleep competitiveness was an Olympic sport, then DH and I would be flying the flag for Britain in Bejing this August....


SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sat 19-Jul-08 12:03:54

dont you know that men are always worse off? they are always more tired/have worse illnesses/ more stressfull jobs/work longer hours/sleep less etc.

you are all fighting a losing battle! just smile and say "yes dear of course i know you have had a very hard week. when i get up i will do you a special breakfast" saves arguing over who is most badly done to! it doesnt matter how hard you have worked they have worked harder!

shreksmissus Sat 19-Jul-08 12:34:12

Message withdrawn

twinsetandpearls Sat 19-Jul-08 12:42:35

Yes I can't say I am tired without him then listing everything he has done. grin Dp is always more tired than me despite the fact I work longer hours and have an illness that makes me tired. When I suggest that rather than me , he should go to the doctor it does not go down well! grin

ActingNormal Sat 19-Jul-08 14:03:12

So glad lots of men are like this and I haven't necessarily married an arse! I think the best response to his "Well look at how hard I have worked..." is ....silence.

lulumama Sat 19-Jul-08 14:05:21

bring the boys round here , schneebs

FluffyMummy123 Sat 19-Jul-08 14:06:00

Message withdrawn

twinsetandpearls Sat 19-Jul-08 14:07:16

He does look after me he just also enjoys a good whinge.

I should not complain as I should be packing while heis at work and instead I am mumsnetting in my pyjamas

JonesTheSteam Sat 19-Jul-08 14:07:44

Not just mine then.

If I'm tired then he's more tired.

If I've been ill, then if he gets it, he's more ill than I was etc. etc. etc.

If I've been busy, he's been busier....

I just tend not to say anything now. Not worth arguing about. Just smile and think 'yeah, yeah' to myself

Alfreda Sat 19-Jul-08 15:47:17

Isn't it guilt, justification rather than competition? dh is away on cricket tour for 4 days, and one of the games is being played locally, said I might visit and have a chat at tea so as to have some adult conversation and he bit my head off, saying how hard it has been for him recently etc. Had to reassure him it wasn't about him, just a statement of fact. And if I go, and tell him they have been a nightmare and I am trying without much success to get a 5,000 word submission finished for my course, and the house is a tip, and, and, I will just get both barrels because he sees it as indirect criticism of his having a break which he needs. And he does, too. And I would do the same if I took a well-earned break and he gave it the "poor me, so busy" stuff while I did so.
Next time, I guess you answer the "well, I've had a busy week you know" with "we both have, come here and gis a cuddle". After all, one half of the relationship needs some emotional intelligence ;)

itati Sat 19-Jul-08 15:54:01

Don't bother trying to keep the kids quiet.

As soon as he gets up, go out. He is a selfish pig. Sorry.

seb1 Sat 19-Jul-08 16:15:23

I do remember thinking I am pregnant and have morning sickness, beat that grinhmmwink, go on just try.

tigana Sat 19-Jul-08 16:31:58

Sometimes I wonder if there is an element of somewhat arsebackwards trying to empathise or comfort?
"Maybe you will feel better (or at least not alone) if I share with you how knackered I am as well/if I tell you how awful my day was you may feel that your's wasn't so bad after all!

Othertimes I think he is a competitive arse!

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