Then he comes back with "eh? you have had a stressful week!? What about me? Ha!"
Yes he has had an exceptionally busy week it is true but that doesn't mean that I haven't! Work has been hellish, I have had the kids with me every day, summer just here and they are bickering already and we have barely seen him. He can sleep all bloody weekend if he wants to - he is asleep now.
I wasn't trying to belittle his hard work just trying to justify my own tiredness. Now I have to try and keep the kids quiet so he can sleep and not be such a grumpy shit!
Oh God thats so familiar. My DH is the only one allowed to be tired because he works soooo hard. His life is so much more stressfull than mine, I dont have to worry about anything. God thay can be real tw*ts sometimes.
You are not alone. I asked my husband if he could occasionally put some washing in the machine and he said 'I will, but I'll then drop a day at work and make you do an extra day'.(He does 5 days and I do 3)
dont you know that men are always worse off? they are always more tired/have worse illnesses/ more stressfull jobs/work longer hours/sleep less etc.
you are all fighting a losing battle! just smile and say "yes dear of course i know you have had a very hard week. when i get up i will do you a special breakfast" saves arguing over who is most badly done to! it doesnt matter how hard you have worked they have worked harder!
Yes I can't say I am tired without him then listing everything he has done. Dp is always more tired than me despite the fact I work longer hours and have an illness that makes me tired. When I suggest that rather than me , he should go to the doctor it does not go down well!
Isn't it guilt, justification rather than competition? dh is away on cricket tour for 4 days, and one of the games is being played locally, said I might visit and have a chat at tea so as to have some adult conversation and he bit my head off, saying how hard it has been for him recently etc. Had to reassure him it wasn't about him, just a statement of fact. And if I go, and tell him they have been a nightmare and I am trying without much success to get a 5,000 word submission finished for my course, and the house is a tip, and, and, I will just get both barrels because he sees it as indirect criticism of his having a break which he needs. And he does, too. And I would do the same if I took a well-earned break and he gave it the "poor me, so busy" stuff while I did so. Next time, I guess you answer the "well, I've had a busy week you know" with "we both have, come here and gis a cuddle". After all, one half of the relationship needs some emotional intelligence ;)
Sometimes I wonder if there is an element of somewhat arsebackwards trying to empathise or comfort? "Maybe you will feel better (or at least not alone) if I share with you how knackered I am as well/if I tell you how awful my day was you may feel that your's wasn't so bad after all!