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When a friend is no longer a friend but you're stuck with them

(18 Posts)
Joncy Fri 18-Jul-08 16:18:43

For the past few months I have started to have problems with my best friend. She has lived with me for the past two years, I took her in as she had nowhere to go and at first it was fine, she was quiet and respectful but now its not so good. She makes it obvious she doesn't like my kids and if they enter a room she leaves. She will no longer eat anything I make her either and sometimes I don't see her for days on end and she doesn't say where she's been or anything.

She contributes nothing to the household yet seems to think she has the right to sprawl out on the sofa etc and waits to be asked to move before she does, even if she can see people wanting to sit down.

I have told her maybe its best if she moves out but she just gives me a mucky look or leaves the room. I'm terrible with confrontation but this can't go on. sad

NotDoingTheHousework Fri 18-Jul-08 16:21:12

Message withdrawn

dittany Fri 18-Jul-08 16:21:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 16:22:33

Oh lord.

It is never a good idea to live with friends, but this one is seriously taking the piss.

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 16:23:38

You are not stuck with her. Confrontation is hard I agree but you need to be straight with her and tell her it's time she left.

Two years rent free!shock

itati Fri 18-Jul-08 16:23:56

She is walking all over you because she thinks she can.

The minute she was off with my kids, she would have been out, tbh.

3littlefrogs Fri 18-Jul-08 16:24:29

sounds like familiarity breeding contempt.

I had this years ago with a friend of DH's. He came to stay for a couple of weeks - months later i had to make him leave as DH was too soft to put his foot down. Some people just take advantage. She doesn't sound much of a friend TBH.

beanieb Fri 18-Jul-08 16:25:05

If she doesn't contribute anything financially and she refuses to go you MUST start chargin her! Don't know if you would want to go down the eviction route but you can give her notice and ask her to leave.

FabioUnblogged Fri 18-Jul-08 16:25:27

Does she work?

girlnextdoor Fri 18-Jul-08 16:25:38

sounds like you don't want any confrontation- and boy does she know that!

Arrange a time when you will talk to her- if she is evasive, then you will just have to pick a time when she is in. Tell her why she isn't pulling her weight and then give her a date to leave by.

Sounds like she is quite young? Lot of growing up to be done, imo.

madamez Fri 18-Jul-08 16:25:56

If you want to be nice then put it to her as 'I can see you're not happy, and this isn't working, so how about I 'help' you find somewhere else to live?' And then you can escalate if that doesn't work - as Dittany says, you can put her stuff out and change the locks, she has no legal right to live with you.

dittany Fri 18-Jul-08 16:26:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Freckle Fri 18-Jul-08 17:21:07

She is in your property as a licencee, which basically means that she has no rights. You can ask her to leave immediately. So do it. Although to be fair you could give her 2 days notice. Either that or wait until she next buggers off for several days, pack up her stuff and put it outside the front door, having already changed the locks. She should get the message.

TheCrackFox Fri 18-Jul-08 17:54:36

Ask her to leave. If she refuses wait until she has gone out for the day, pack her bags and change the locks.

She is not a friend she is a user. She knows you hate confrontation and is taking the piss out of you.

You have enough on your plate with your own DCs without looking after this leach.

Be strong and good luck.

Freckle Fri 18-Jul-08 18:46:18

Amend that. Don't ask her to leave. Tell her to leave. It is your house and she has no rights.

prettyfly1 Fri 18-Jul-08 21:34:54

tell her she is taking the piss. and you want her to go. your kids have the right to be where they want in their own home. she has overstayed her welcome. by all means help her find somewhere else but give her a date and make her leave.

FabioUnblogged Fri 18-Jul-08 21:48:02

And now she has requisitioned Joncy's computer.

mrsruffallo Fri 18-Jul-08 21:57:49

Joncy, you have to bite the bullet and tell her to leave.
You will lose her as a friend if things continue as they are, so you might as well speed thing up.
She is being very selfish.

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