Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Thinking about someone else while at it...

(84 Posts)
WhosThatGirl Fri 18-Jul-08 09:20:08

He's had his hair cut (OK, I cut it) and last night in the subdued lighting of our bedroom, I pretended he was someone else with the same hairstyle. blush I'm not saying who, or you will all guess who I am, and (duh!) I namechanged to be anonymous, but it's no-one I know personally.

Is it really, really bad that I actually enjoyed it for the first time by doing that?

everlong Fri 18-Jul-08 09:26:02

Depends who you pretended it was grin

If it was Daniel Craig, Max Beesley etc. then no that's ok, but if you were thinking of Johnny Vegas then yes that would be bad.

Come on give us a clue.

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 09:28:28

God I do this all the time.

Of course it's not bad! If you both enjoy it it doesn't matter what either person is actually thinking about during the fun.

Although, if like you said you actually enjoyed it for the first time, does that mean your DP doesn't actually turn you on?

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 09:29:03

lol at Johnnny Vegas grin

Yes, that would be bad

WhosThatGirl Fri 18-Jul-08 09:38:26

Oh good grief, I'm blushing now for real. I'm a regular and you will so know who I am.

No, don't really fancy Dh, never really have. But I did in the half-light last night. At certain angles it was an uncanny likeness, I did really well with the hairgel.

I am so naughty. blush It's not Johnny Vegas. (Or Daniel Craig, yuk)

everlong Fri 18-Jul-08 09:42:20

Hairgel??? Mmmm let me see...

Is it a singer or an actor?

And how can you not like DC? He's gorgeous.

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 09:43:41

no, DC is so not gorgeous!

Go on, tell us who it was! grin <nosey emoticon>

meemar Fri 18-Jul-08 09:46:14

LOL grin Half-light and hairgel are the ingredients for great sex.

only on MN!

everlong Fri 18-Jul-08 09:47:22

Have you not seen Daniel Craig in the bond film in his trunks?? I defy any woman not to think that he's a bit scrummy???

David Beckham?
Johnny Depp?
Brad Pitt?
Dave Grohl? ( if it were him then you would be right to be pretending, he's beautiful )
Elvis?

WhosThatGirl Fri 18-Jul-08 09:54:31

lol at you lot trying to work out who it is. Seriously, if I say, my anonymity will disappear in a flash. Not sure why that matters on MN, but for some reason, this just embarrasses the hell out of me. Not because he's an embarrassing person to fancy, but because I feel like the saddest woman in the world for pretending I was shagging him while with Dh.

(Daniel Craig looks like a potato. Him and Wayne Rooney, in a spud-sack. erk.)

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 09:59:19

no, DC is too old, and his face is all squashed. There are far more gorgeous specimen out there to drool over.

It's not Tony Blair is it?

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 09:59:33

<boak>

everlong Fri 18-Jul-08 10:00:25

Oh come on don't be daft, we've all done it!

DC is not a potato and NOTHING like WR,he is vile and potato like.

Right gotta go now, enough sitting around!

JonesTheSteam Fri 18-Jul-08 10:01:21

David Tennant - doesn't he use a lot of hair gel as Dr Who?

snowleopard Fri 18-Jul-08 10:06:23

Ha ha I have an idea who you are. The hair gel is helping me guess.

snowleopard Fri 18-Jul-08 10:07:22

I wasn't thinking DT.

WhosThatGirl Fri 18-Jul-08 10:08:37

Tony Blair?! shock That's a definite no.

So other people do it, yeah? It just feels like a mix of cheating and utter sad-actness.

<<is consumed with guilt>>

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 10:10:41

Everyone does it WhosThatGirl, now banish those guilty feelings.

Sex would become very dull indeed if we could never indulge in a bit of fantasy and imagination.

WhosThatGirl Fri 18-Jul-08 10:16:51

I just think he'd be mortified if he ever knew (and he so isn't going to, obviously). I've been operating for the last 8 years on the presumption that a good sex life means focusing on the other person properly, and I've always found myself wanting to get it over with as soon as.

(lol about the hair gel, I should have been more careful to not giving clues. Not giving anymore grin)

So everyone does it?

everlong Fri 18-Jul-08 10:25:23

WTG

I bet if there was a poll on Mnet asking how many of us had fantasized about someone else during sex with dh, there would be a big YES from the majority.

It's harmless.

everlong Fri 18-Jul-08 10:27:27

Yes everyone does it. Now was it DT?

WhosThatGirl Fri 18-Jul-08 10:30:55

Cheers. Honestly, I'm so not usually this hung-up about this sort of thing. I'm simply masquerading as a bashful ingenue, you understand, I don't know what's the matter with me.

He's just phoned. I was blushing on the ruddy phone.

snowleopard Fri 18-Jul-08 10:32:32

Who DH? Or HIM?

WhosThatGirl Fri 18-Jul-08 10:35:52

yeah, I'd be on MN if HE just phoned me, I wouldn't be frantically farming out the kids and putting on my best pants or anything... grin

No, it was Dh. Who is just as good with a bedside lamp and some hairgel. Which I should probably be pleased about, really.

procrastinatingparent Fri 18-Jul-08 10:36:09

A bit of a dissenting voice here but I don't do it, although I do agree that probably lots of people do.

Firstly, I'd just giggle because at some point my imagination would let me down and then there would be the horrible shock of 'changing' partners mid-shag which would be too much for my libido to cope with.

Secondly, I'd be really unhappy if he did that to me. He assures me he doesn't. (He could not be telling the truth, of course.

Having said that, perhaps you could morph the fantasy and the reality together over a period time, and rejuvenate your sex life ... I do think sex is mostly about what is going on in your head.

Sorry to sound like a bit of a spoilsport/ grin

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now