Me and DP are having trouble although I don't think DP is completely realising it as I don't really make it clear how annoyed I am with him sometimes - I tend to bite my lip instead.
I don't feel loved by him - just feel like we're two room mates. I'm not very loving back as I'm normally too knackered from dealing with clingy DD all day that I just want my space.
I've started conversations with him before about this, the last one was "do you think things are ok with us?" his answer was no - we need to be more physical. I tried to get sense from this but was annoyed that his first answer to what I thought was gonna be a sensible conversation seemed so flippant. (to me anyway)
I don't feel he does enough with DD as his idea of looking after her is sitting on the sofa with her in her bouncer while he watches TV - Feels like DD is missing out so I resent him for that.
He doesn't do much around the house - i'm lucky if he puts the dishwasher on or remembers to put the bins out on the right day. So that annoys me.
I went away for a couple of days just gone and came back to a house that stank of fags (we'd both agreed no smoking in the house) was a tip and the cats bowls were empty - water bone dry) Place falls apart if i'm not there.
When I got back one of the first things he said to me (before how are you, did you have fun) was we need to fix washing machine cos washing is piling up)
I don't think I love him and if i'm honest to myself I don't think I ever did. We both rebounded from relationships to each other then had a Missed MC so stayed together from that. Now DD is here it feels like I couldn't leave him for her sake. Plus we have a house (that won't sell in this climate) 2 cats etc etc.
Plus he's made it very clear that he would NOT be a weekend dad and would try for custody of any kid he had.
Now I don't know if i'm asking for a way to fix it or a way out.
I think I want to try and fix it incase I do love him but the anger is taking over. Problem is when he annoys me I say it in my head as I don't want DD to hear us arguing then it bites away at me over and over.
I think I need to be more forceful but don't know how. While I was away I saw my friend and her fiance interacting and you can see the love and respect between them - I don't see it with us.
If you've read this then well done for reading such a ridiculously long post. If you can help as well that would be brilliant.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Ok - I need someone to be completely honest with me and help me with DP
LuckySalem · 16/07/2008 22:09
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