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People who refuse to accept other people's experiences

(14 Posts)
prunegirl Sat 05-Feb-05 10:00:39

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misdee Sat 05-Feb-05 10:01:43

wow expressing for 4months!! i hated doing it once a week.

vict17 Sat 05-Feb-05 10:04:10

I think some people are just mean, say hurtful things because they are jealous. Some people can't admit that there are any other ways than their way of doing things. And some people can't stop giving advice. Throughtout life there will always be people like this and we just have to learn to ignore them but it is soooo hard!!

biglips Sat 05-Feb-05 10:05:13

just ignore your mum's friend and you do what is best for you and YOUR child. i would've of said "well everyones is different, and im happy with this as long baba is happy too"

myermay Sat 05-Feb-05 10:07:02

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prunegirl Sat 05-Feb-05 10:31:06

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prunegirl Sat 05-Feb-05 10:33:51

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KristinaM Sat 05-Feb-05 10:37:52

Prunegirl - respect for expressing for 4 weeks! I HATE it!! I know this isn't a Bf thread but couldn't help myself ......

franke Sat 05-Feb-05 10:46:32

I think vict17 has summed it up pretty well. In my own case my mother is the main culprit! Instead of yelling at her like a hormonal teenager I've just started absent mindedly agreeing with her - stops her in her tracks.

Expressing for 4 months prunegirl - respect

jac34 Sat 05-Feb-05 10:52:27

Hi Prunegirl,
How right you are !!!
In fact DH and I have stopped speaking to, or visiting his sister for exactly this reason.
We used to try to ignore her comments, but it got more and more difficult. In the beginning we would give her the benefit of the doubt and just considered her tactless, but as the comments became more frequent and more hurtful we decided that she was purposely trying to upset us for some reason.
We reasoned that if a friend made these comments we would have dropped them by now, yet we were still putting up with this rudeness purely because she was family, so we have just decided to avoid her as much as poss.
I have no idea why she, or anyone should behave like this, but IMO in her case it is jelousy.
We did actually point out in a polite way that her comments were hurtful and gave her the oppertunity to apologise, however, she refused. This made me even more convinced that the comments were meant to be purposely hurtful and not just a lack of tact.

fisil Sat 05-Feb-05 11:09:57

When I was little my mum had a friend who was always like this. Her dd was perfect, and the mum always said "just do what we do, then your children will behave/do whatever." Then they had their second child. Totally different character, and it became clear that dd just happened to be a very passive, sweet girl. No.2 was the opposite - that shut them up!

That bf example is incredible. Apart from anything else (respect for the expressing - I managed 1 week, and that was too much!), I was so looking forward to breastfeeding cos I'd helped bottle feed dbruv, and found it so wonderful and intimate - I thought actually breastfeeding my own child would blow me away. Basically I never ever found any intimacy in breastfeeding - no eye contact, couldn't sit comfortably, could get both hands free so I could get on with what I wanted (writing, reading). I also couldn't cuddle ds when he wasn't feeing because of the pain. When I was bottle feeding we had the most gorgeous cuddles, full eye contact throughout, and because if I could only ever get one hand free (if I really put in the effort) he had my full attention. And dp could do all the same. So her assertion doesn't have to be true for everyone anyway!

aerobics Sat 05-Feb-05 14:26:39

my fil suggested , when my youngest was bf that i should get him off bf as quick as poss so i wasnt so tied. men ! he hadnt a clue. i wanted to be tied and bf my child. some people have no reserve at all and just say first thing that comes to mind. he is a terrible know it all anyway. my mother is the same but not quite as bad. she used to say similar things when my older two were babies and bf.

kama Sat 05-Feb-05 14:45:15

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TwoIfBySea Sun 06-Feb-05 19:47:54

prunegirl she just sounds like a nasty old witch, jealous of you and your lovely dd. I know it was 4 years ago but negative comments stay with a person a lot longer than positive ones so no wonder you are still fuming years later.

I expressed for only a week (I had ds twins by c-section so was in hospital for that time.) I gave up because of similar attitudes from people and even some of the midwives, that if I wasn't bf then why bother. I so shouldn't have listened so am completely awed that you managed for 4 months. God I am jealous and if I ever am in the same situation I will be on here looking for advice from you!

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