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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

What's an acceptable age gap??

62 replies

essbee · 04/02/2005 16:30

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milliways · 04/02/2005 16:32

My SIL is 38 & her DH is 62, kids aged 8&7. They are happy.

Gwenick · 04/02/2005 16:32

between children or between adults?

essbee · 04/02/2005 16:33

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Gwenick · 04/02/2005 16:34

there's 5yrs between DH and I - have a friend though who has 24yrs between her and her DH - she's very happy.

essbee · 04/02/2005 16:35

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Titania · 04/02/2005 16:37

theres 18 years between my mum and her other half.....been together 15 years so far

twiceTK · 04/02/2005 16:42

I think that is up to you ... Between me and my DH is over 20 years gap but we never see it as a gap ourselves. I don't care what other people talk about us ... people always talks no matter what anyway. We are absolutely happy ... that's matter.

MrsBigD · 04/02/2005 16:43

well I think as long as everybody is happy... age doesn't matter.

My dad is a funny one that way... when he was 39 he had a 29 year old gf, when he was 49 he had a 29 year old gf, when he wad 59 he had a 29 year old gf... get the picture?

I've learned to 'live' with it... he's gotta live with them not me ;)

dh is my toyboy of 6 days

lou33 · 04/02/2005 16:44

essbee

lou33 · 04/02/2005 16:45

i would prefer 18 years younger to 18 years older than me myself

essbee · 04/02/2005 16:45

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lou33 · 04/02/2005 16:54

keep forgetting you are a youthful thing

SoupDragon · 04/02/2005 17:02

you could always lie about his age.

essbee · 04/02/2005 17:53

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pooka · 04/02/2005 18:51

My great uncle is 90. His wife is 58. They met after he had separated with his then wife, because she was a school friend of his daughter. Married when he was 82 and she was 50, after his first wife died (they didn't want to rock the boat as she was a manic depressive). Very happy together, but has obviously been a companionship, deep respect thing rather than a red-hot passion for many years, probably since he was in his early 70's. He's quite a remarkable bloke, very charismatic, and his moblity and health has only been compromised in the last 5 years really, and obviously she has a carer role as well as a wifely one now.
Anyway - I think it's fabulous that they have been together for so long (not sure entirely how long, but at least 35 years plus)

InMyShoes · 04/02/2005 18:52

doesn't matter. 18 years is nothing if you're both happy

kama · 05/02/2005 22:41

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biglips · 05/02/2005 22:56

when i was 21, i was seeing a 45 yrs old man ans he was older than my parents !! (i couldnt stop laughing about it)

essbee · 05/02/2005 23:49

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CarrieG · 05/02/2005 23:58

An ex colleague (& good mate) of mine is in his 60s, & has a dp of my age (early 30s). Apparently it was a bit weird meeting the 'in-laws' as they're younger than him, but otherwise they are very happy.

It probably helps that she's a quiet, 'surrendered wife' (ugh) type though tbh - I've known my friend 15 years, he's always had younger laydeez in tow (believe I was on his 'to do' list at one point...), & I suspect it's only a long term relationship because he's consciously putting his hell-raising days behind him, iyswim. But it does semm to work for them, which is the main thing...

cornfield · 06/02/2005 00:02

tbh age does not matter so much as the companionship/respect the couple in question have for each other...think it is only something you can look at individually...18 years might seem like a lot to some people but if you get on, share similar interests, have same sense of humour and fancy each other then it doesn't matter...personally think older men have something younger don't have (money no maturity, interesting things to say a lot) so enjoy....have you got a new man essbee, if you don't mind me asking?

essbee · 06/02/2005 00:07

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jabberwocky · 06/02/2005 00:19

16 1/2 between me and dh. It has never been a problem and I am still thrilled that I married him.

jojo38 · 06/02/2005 00:45

I am nearly 11yrs younger than my dh. He's the lucky one!

I do find I am noticing his "age" more these days but I do think it is more of an excuse for him. Most of the time I think I have another child in the house!! Other times, he is like an old codger! (Don't tell him I told you).

bobbybob · 06/02/2005 07:10

Dh and I are 8 years apart, but I think that we have more "cultural gaps" because we grew up in difference countries than "generation gaps". It does mean that his parents feel more like my grandparents though.

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