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I know I moan about DH, but last night he reminded me of why I love him so much.

(17 Posts)
Squirdle Sat 12-Jul-08 13:50:44

I did a very difficult thing last night. I told DH exactly what my grandfather had done to me for years.

He always knew that I had been abused, and kind of knew what had happened, but I have never sat down and told him exactly what he had done.

I go to a support group for victims of incest and went last night. I have been thinking about telling DH for a while, but have been too scared to utter the words, but last night I did it.

He was wonderful, but quite upset by it. My grandfather sexually abused me from when I was 9 until I was 16 and raped me twice in that time, once when I was 12 and the last time he ever went near me at 16.

DH is being so supportive, but understandably can't get his head around the fact that something like that was done to me at such a young age. I don't expect him to understand, but I did want him to try to understand how I feel sometimes instead of putting it down to me just being moody. We talked for hours last night and he just held me the whole time.

Today I feel totally drained, very bad headache and very shakey. I feel awful really.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you how brilliant he is....because he is smile

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sat 12-Jul-08 13:57:57

Well done for being so brave, and what a lovely DH you have!

sillybillybee Sat 12-Jul-08 14:01:30

I don't 'know' you or your moans about DH but just wanted to say you are right he is being brilliant supporting you. Just remember that you deserve a big WELL DONE too for opening up about your abuse, it's a very difficult thing to do.
So basically well done to both of you and I hope you feel better soon.

edam Sat 12-Jul-08 14:05:08

I'm so glad, both that you felt able to talk to dh and that he has shown you that he is worthy of your trust. You say he's brilliant and I'm not going to disagree! grin

susue Sat 12-Jul-08 14:07:22

So glad that you could tell your DH everything and that he understood and hugged you as you told him. Although you feel a bit icky today you must also feel relieved that it's out in the open and that you have your DHs love and support. You were very brave telling him and I hope you feel calmer inside and very loved. x

Squirdle Sat 12-Jul-08 14:09:12

Thankyou, I know it's a big step I have taken. I have know DH for 17 years and I did tell him about the abuse when I met him and actually he was brilliant then, he didn't push me into anything and nothing majorly physical happened between us for 3 months. For a then 18 year old I feel that showed what a wonderful person he is.

I do feel rubbish today but hopefully this is another big step towards it all getting better.

Squirdle Sat 12-Jul-08 14:09:56

I mean I told him about the abuse when we met, but not in detail iyswim

Psychomum5 Sat 12-Jul-08 16:43:39

oh my brave brave girl. I am so proud of you tho....I know (really know, as you know!) just how hard that conversation would have been, and just how drained you must be today.

all my heart is with you today, as I know yours has been with me.......our lives have been so similar, and get more so the more I get to know you.

many many hugs, and lets set dates to meet up.


Squirdle Sat 12-Jul-08 18:32:52

I had to do it Psycho, it felt like the right time. My head has been hurting sooooo much today, I wish it would stop! I just told DH my get up and go has got up and gone today!

I do generally feel drained after a support meeting, but this is something else!

My ooomph must be hiding with yours grin

cocolepew Sat 12-Jul-08 18:35:16

Well done for being so brave, and a smile for DH.

Psychomum5 Sat 12-Jul-08 19:13:02

yes, I am still wondering where my oomph has gone....


more hugs....proper hugs as we do know each other

Amphibimum Sat 12-Jul-08 19:54:24

am deeply impressed squirdle. well done you.

Flamesparrow Sat 12-Jul-08 19:55:27

HUge huge hugs Squirdle

Lizzylou Sat 12-Jul-08 19:57:03

Well done, and how lovely that you feel so supported by your DH.

Squirdle Sun 13-Jul-08 09:13:48

My ooomph still hasn't returned, but my headache is staying sad

I'm feeling a little less stressed this morning though...maybe because the sun is shining smile

Psycho and Flame, I'll call and sort out a day for catching up.

Squirdle Mon 14-Jul-08 11:33:34

I think my talk with DH has done strange things to me!

This morning I have contacted victim support to help me complete a Criminal Injuries compensation claim. I have had the form for aaaages, but haven't felt able to fill it I need the name of the police officer who handled my case lots of years ago.

Soooo, I have a lovely helpful lady finding out all I need to know. She is going to call me back in a bit and let me know what she has discovered and she is also going to meet me at some point to go through the rest of the form.

I don't want compensation really, I just feel that this may help 'close' the book a little iyswim. But at the same time, it may (if I do recieve anything) help towards finding some good profession help to get me through this.

Anyway, theres me being brave this morning!!!! shock.....I even told her his name shock

Psychomum5 Mon 14-Jul-08 11:37:03

oh, brave girlie even more!!!

well done


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