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Do you think MN needs an Abuse section?

(17 Posts)
bearmama Thu 10-Jul-08 14:23:55

Or should it all stay in relationships?
There seems to be a lot of MNers with controlling/abusive partners, and those seeking advice on whether their partner is acting abusively.
What do you think?

S1ur Fri 11-Jul-08 01:16:48

No. Often people just need to talk about their relationships and aren't ready to face or aren't aware of the abusive elements of that relationship.

I think it would take too much for some to take the step to post in a section called abuse or dv or whatever.

colditz Fri 11-Jul-08 01:39:30


because people seeking advice are never being abused, and for 100 posters telling them they are, they will have 100 reasons why they aren't.

slim22 Fri 11-Jul-08 02:42:30

too intimidating as said above.
And also lot less likely to get spontaneous replies.

onlyjoking9329 Fri 11-Jul-08 03:50:25

no, for all the reasons already mentioned.

bearmama Fri 11-Jul-08 17:23:36

Good points. Question answered. Thank you. I asked because when I was going through DV years ago I was directed to a website and there was an abuse section. However I had begun to accept at that point it was DV - agree that people may not be willing to.

FluffyMummy123 Fri 11-Jul-08 17:30:18

Message withdrawn

RubyRioja Fri 11-Jul-08 17:33:09

Is there a list of info of people who are able to help? I know obv very secretive/discreet for obvious reasons.

But like there is info for samaritans for distress, childline etc is there a reference point on MN to find useful numbers? It may well exist and I have been fortunate enough to never need it. Or would a simple google provide that for people?

slim22 Fri 11-Jul-08 17:46:18

Good point about useful numbers rubyrioja

S1ur Fri 11-Jul-08 19:21:43

There is a web guide page. There could be more obvious links to dv helpines in there perhaps.

(See link at top of mental health topics)

Alambil Fri 11-Jul-08 19:45:26

a google of "domestic violence helpline" brings Women's Aid second; that's not too tricky but you have to do it in teh first place; if you don't accept it's DV, I doubt you'd google it.

Most of those threads have people linking and writing the phone contact number anyway so may not be totally necessary?

finallydoneit Fri 11-Jul-08 20:01:16

hey guys, just saw this and wanted to say hello and i agree with what you have all said

RubyRioja Fri 11-Jul-08 22:03:44

Maybe there could be a link on the relationship headers to Relate, anyone who helps with DV that sort of thing.

I think Mn is seen as a place to get a recommendation iyswim, where you would not find a link to surrendered wives r us type websites, but to a site that is respectable.

I daresay a person can find this info fairly easily, but people do turn to |MN when they are distressed and not always able to think straight, plus not exactly a problem if you are not looking for it.

Monkeytrousers Fri 11-Jul-08 22:07:25

No - who would go there? Seriously, think about it.

Pinkchampagne Sun 13-Jul-08 18:45:31

Finallydoneit - so pleased to see your name - have been worried about you! Text the other week, but didn't get a reply, so wasn't sure whether it was safe to text again. How are you?

finallydoneit Sun 13-Jul-08 18:47:24

hey . i am ok, have changed my number, can you get on msn?
its ok here but it gets very hard living with so many people at times. ds is ok and i suppose its not gonna be for ever

davidtennantsmistress Sun 13-Jul-08 18:54:00

no it wasn't until after I was outside of the situation, I truly realised and had it thrusted upon me (by my parents) what was/had actually happened, and it wasn't normal, and it wasn't ok, and I did have a choice etc.

so for that reason a list of places to go etc will be helpful.

until someone's ready to accept and face up to it they won't believe it's DV/an abusive relationship.

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