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Can men get post natal depression?ANY ANSWERS WELCOME, COME AND CHAT WITH ME.

(8 Posts)
PND Sun 06-Jul-08 16:56:35

Dp seems really down and ratty since we had baby. He absolutly adores the baby but he thinks the baby doesn't like him, and he gets really upset when the baby cries. But it's because the baby has colic so he cries all evening and night and when he's lovely through the day DP is at work.

He seems totally depressed and he said he thinks he needs help so he's going to the doctors. He's had a lot of deaths in his family ever since he was 15 and he's bottled things up.

He also had a bad relationship previously ad his ex cheated on him a lot and told him he couldn't have kids when really she was on the pill secretly the whole time. I think this is still an issue, though he doesn't, as our relationship is difficult at the moment, as relationships are when you've just had a baby. No major problems but it just feels strained a bit at the mo.

youcannotbeserious Sun 06-Jul-08 16:58:55

can't type much as hve baby in arms but will be atching this thread and wll post when i can

scorpio1 Sun 06-Jul-08 17:00:30

Yes, they can. It's a big life change for them; they worry about so much. Are we ok, the baby, their working, do they provide enough, etc etc

My DH worries alot about if our new baby like him too - weird.

ElenorRigby Sun 06-Jul-08 21:18:31

A quick google search came up with these and others.
www.babyworld.co.uk/information/newparents/post_natal_depression_in_dads.asp
www.bbc.co.uk/health/ask_the_doctor/malepnd.shtml

MissingMyHeels Sun 06-Jul-08 21:21:34

I think my partner certainly suffered with it in the first few weeks of DD's life, he thought she didn't like him, thought she was boring and like your partner only saw her when she was having her evening strop before bed. Result of that was I ended up doing everything and then went momentarily a bit crazy, this was a kick up the arse for him, he started spending more time with her and today he is a doting Daddy.

A baby is a huge change, how old is your baby? Any chance you could go out just the two of you? I found this very helpful at the time.

yerblurt Sun 06-Jul-08 22:44:03

Me and my partner have a 10 month old baby, she's adorable, but hard work like all babies are.

It's really hard, especially for many blokes who go out to work - so they see baby all sweetness and light in the morning, but when you arrive home after work, baby is usually getting a bit grizzly and tired and ready for bed. So, certainly speaking from personal experience, it's bloody hard doing the routine - going to work, not seeing the wonderful behaviour/stuff that kids do during the day and only snatching a little bit of time at the evening to give a feed/bath and go to bed.

I felt that way about baby, I felt like she didn't really like me and I starting feeling upset and having feelings of not bonding too well. Thankfully that's changed!

What I did find really useful was to alter my work pattern a little, I finish work early a couple of days per week - there is a baby and toddler group that baby has been to since a few months old and I take her to that, she enjoys it immensely, I get to see her doing her everyday normal stuff that babies do, the partner picks me up after her work has finished. A bit more of the work-life balance...

limecrush Sun 06-Jul-08 22:49:38

They definitely can. To a rate of about 10% or so of all fathers. I've got a reference somewhere, just go on Google Scholar and put in 'postnatal depression in fathers' and it will come up.

LOVINGDAD Tue 22-Jul-08 01:49:38

Help i really need some help. I am probably not supposed to post on here as i'm a new dad. My partner gave birth to our beautiful daughter six weeks ago.
My problem from the other side of the fence is that i believe that she is suffering from post natal depression. My life has changed overnight from the elation of the birth of our daughter to some kind of living hell. I am a self employed electrician and i work very hard. Since our daughter has been born i have gone out of my way to help, i feed her, change her, look after her so my partner can have a rest, whatever it takes really. I get up in the night and feed her even though i have to get up very early for work. My partner is at home during the day but i want to take some of the pressure off her. The problem is that whatever i do it is not good enough, she has changed overnight and i am at my wits end. Things that wouldn't normally bother her wind her up to the point that she ends up saying the most hurtful things. She tells me that i'm a crap dad, that she wants to finish with me because i'm useless and that i do nothing to help her. Even though the first thing i do when i get in from work is to tell her how much i love her and if i can do anything or if she wants me to look after our daughter. I have ended up sleeping in my truck some nights because i can't take the nastiness any more. The other day during an argument (over something really trivial) she actually headbuted me in the face. It has got to the stage that she keeps telling me to leave and when i'd had enough the other day i left and slept in my truck overnight she kept texting me calling me the most horribe names and saying 'how could you abandon your daughter'. She refuses to go and see anyone, the health visitor came round while i was at work today to do the standard post natal depression talk and she didn't answer the door, i only know this because i found the card that she had put through the door.She has suffered from depression in the past and was on anti-depressents and that is why she refuses to see anyone. I love her dearly and this is breaking my heart, i really don't know what to do. She again tonight told me to leave and i am sleeping on the sofa. The thought of not being in our daughters life fills me with sadness, she is so innocent, she deserves the best i can give her. My partner has made it clear that if we do split up she will never let me see our daughter. Before the birth we were a loving couple looking forward to our life together, to me our daughter adds to our happiness but it has all gone so wrong. She has two children from her marriage and i love them dearly, i am particularly close to her son (13) and get on well with her daughter (16). Being a step dad is hard enough but now i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I would do anything to stay together but she refuses to go to counselling, i just think it's only a matter of time before we split as i can't take this much longer. When someone keeps telling you how crap you are and that they don't want to be with you anymore, you can't help but let it affect you even though you know they are not being themselves. The worst thing is she has convinced her daughter that i keep picking at her, at most all i am guilty of is sticking up for myself (verbally). She just won't accept that she is any different. What the hell can i do? I am even starting to doubt myself when she says that she isn't any different! HELP

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