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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

does your dh/dp have many friends...

52 replies

lavenderr · 31/01/2005 22:55

are they the sort that come around to your house much? I know men have very different relationships to women in that they don't talk non-stop with their friends....is it a blokey thing or are we women eternally attached to their friends in a way that men seem not to worry about....

OP posts:

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janeybops · 31/01/2005 22:59

dh rarely has male friends around to our house, if they come they come as a couple. If single or on their own, then he meets them in the pub or sports venue.

In fact it must be years ago that he had a friend around. Having said that I have most of my firnds around inthe day when he is at work, and tend to socialise with other couples with him iyswim

Thud · 31/01/2005 23:00

lavenderr · 31/01/2005 23:01

Thud what do you mean?

OP posts:

MistressMary · 31/01/2005 23:02

Yes he has mates and no they don't visit the house.

acer · 31/01/2005 23:03

Yes, his best mate is now one of mine!

Thud2 · 31/01/2005 23:06

Catbert · 31/01/2005 23:06

DH has only 2 very close friends, but has known them since school and has lived his and their whole lives and all the ups and downs with them. They visit often. We visit as a family one, who has wife (good friend of mine) and children close in age to ours, and the other he visits by himself, (with me and kids less often), as recently divorced. He visits us often though. However, am still great mates with his XDW - we are going to see Chicago on Sat night!!!

He has "work" friends he occasionally socialises with.

acer · 31/01/2005 23:07

Wot?! THUD??

Catbert · 31/01/2005 23:08

I don't get the thud thing?

acer · 31/01/2005 23:09

must be a TROLL?!!

Catbert · 31/01/2005 23:11

Maybe... But the point being?

lavenderr · 31/01/2005 23:11

come on thud own up why the thud??

OP posts:

acer · 31/01/2005 23:11

Hmmm... not sure

Catbert · 31/01/2005 23:15

Aaah - possibly just to intentionally divert off the original subject and get us all "talking" to them... Let's leave it and get back to original topic.

jasper · 31/01/2005 23:19

lavender my dh does not have friends other than my friends' husbands and would not invite them round to the house.

When he was full time at home with the kids he used to complain about how it was harder for men as they don't have the same networks of friends but I used to say that was because he made no effort

My dad however has more friends than my mum

Gwenick · 31/01/2005 23:20

Not really - I think men are diffrent to us women like that. We like to have lots of different people that we can get on well with, can come round for coffee, chat to on the phone etc, and then of course our close friends.

Men (well my DH anyhow LOL), seem to have a few very close friends - usually ones they've known for a long time (DH can't understand how I can meet someone this week, and be best buddy's with them the next LMAO). They do 'sociliase' with others - but it tends to be on an 'accquaintance' level rather than friends (although we'd probably call them work friends).

MamaMaiasaura · 31/01/2005 23:29

My dp has a good number of close friends, most of whom he has known since school. It is really nice cos they are pretty much all attached and their wives/girlfriends are all really nice people too.

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 31/01/2005 23:32

Do a search on usename lavender1 and you'll find a thread where she tells us her alcoholic h thumped their daughter in the stomach. I think that's what the 'thuds' are about - the fact that Lav posts like on that thread and then shortly afterwards comes on to ask mundane questions about her h as if a) the previous threads hadn't happened and b) he was a normal bloke. Which he quite clearly isn't.

acer · 31/01/2005 23:34

Oh, so lavenderr and lavender1 are the same?

MamaMaiasaura · 31/01/2005 23:37

Gwenick - have to agree with you in terms of they have to of known someone for a looonngg time

lavenderr · 31/01/2005 23:38

am off to bed now as am tired, and am also tired of people bringing up my history every time they feel like it... I gave this site a break for a while and then asked a perfectly normal question...I can't be ars*d to argue with you but think you are damn right rude

OP posts:

acer · 31/01/2005 23:41

sorry, I do not know your history, I just wondered what THUD meant. Night.

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Gwenick · 31/01/2005 23:42

Awen - I think part of the reason is that us women are much more likely to 'emotional' and 'personal' details about ourselves relatively early on in a new friendship, not nessecarily big stuff - but we're more open with our feelings.

Men tend to bottle those things up more and not to want people to know about them, hence the reason they need to have known someone for a long time to be able to 'trust' them in the same way as a women would trust a friend.

Does that make sense - or am I talking out my a*se again

lavenderr · 31/01/2005 23:54

btw I was having a go at weightwatchingwaterwitch for her comments...uncalled for in the grand scheme of things...night

OP posts:

Gwenick · 31/01/2005 23:54

wow - thought you were going to bed! 20 minutes ago you said you were tired! night night

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