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Help ME ... found my friend totally drunk at 11 am .....

(10 Posts)
crystaltips Wed 26-Jan-05 20:31:08

My friend has SO many issues at the moment that I don't know where to start ... family falling appart - coupled with her depression ( none of which I am capable/qualified to cope with.

I called her for a chat today at 11 am ... and she was totally polaxed ( 3 bottles of wine down ).

I dropped everything - sobered her up - tidied her house - cleaned up her sick - collected her kids from school .... blah blah .....

I just feel drained and very sad .... trouble is that MY family is beginning to suffer and feel neglected .... I'm not sure what to do for the best ...

Advice please.

Caligula Wed 26-Jan-05 20:35:43

Crystaltips, my first bit of advice to you would be to call the Al-anon advice line. 020 7403 0888
They'll be able to talk to you about your friend's drinking and your role in helping her.

You sound like a very good friend, but your friend is responsible for her actions, as you are for yours. Don't feel responsible for her, she may be depressed and unhappy, but as you so rightly say, you can't cope with the issues she has and she needs professional help which you can't give her. And your primary responsibility is to yourself and your family.

irishbird Wed 26-Jan-05 20:36:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crystaltips Thu 27-Jan-05 09:09:20

had to go over last night - and she has just pulled up outside my house now ... wish me luck

lou33 Thu 27-Jan-05 09:16:59

Lots of luck

charliecat Thu 27-Jan-05 09:17:27

I would see if i could get her to go to her gp...{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} to you and herxx

gscrym Thu 27-Jan-05 09:28:43

How's it going today?

crystaltips Thu 27-Jan-05 10:55:33

She's just been around - and was a bit flippant about yesterday - saying that it was a bit of a blip and that she's sure that it won't happen again.
I don't think she has a drink problem as such - it's just that she needed to blot out all the hurt.
Last time it got this bad - ( 8 years ago ) she
was sectioned.

4 kids - 2 who have left home ( empty nest syndrome ) 2 who are 13 and 14. I think the DS has undiagnosed ADHD.
Husband works away during the week.
All a bit of a mess really.
THough she called the GP yesterday when she was drunk - she will not call him today.
All rather tiring at the moment - I feel that I have been put through the wringer

Mothernature Thu 27-Jan-05 11:01:14

Problem Drinker:

Drinks just to get drunk.

Tries to solve or cope with problems through drinking.

Experiences personality changes which can range from becoming either angry, loud or violent to silent, remote or reclusive.

Drinks when he/she should not – before driving, before going to class or work, or when it interferes with some responsibility (studying, relationships, etc.)

Causes other problems among family, friends, and even harms himself or herself through making bad choices and engaging in problematic behaviors.

How to Help a Friend with a Drinking Problem:

Face the issue, the problem will not just go away.

Take advantage of strength in numbers, get others involved who care about the drinker.

Give the facts, avoid lecturing and giving orders - just express your concerns and that you care about the person. Let others talk and intervene with the drinker and ask the drinker what they thought about what was said.

Do not approach the drinker while they are under the influence, wait until they are sober.

Avoid attitudes that put blame on, express anger toward, or appear to judge the drinker. Share your concerns and that you are saying something because you care, but know that any decisions about changing are up to the drinker.

Nearly 90% of interventions are successful. Just remember that your friend needs help. Try sharing your concerns, it could be just the thing your friend needs to get started with helping him/herself.

crystaltips Thu 27-Jan-05 12:03:57

thanks MotherNature

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