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dh wants me to on AD...

(18 Posts)
Chickyboo Sat 22-Jan-05 14:34:01

My dh wants me to go on AD's. I feel fine, its just when we argue I say stupid things, mainly because I'm so emotional that I can't control words. I am not depressed and when he isn't home I'm fine. My dd is 6 months old and at beginning I think I had baby blues mainly triggered because dh hasn't stopped drinking or smoking stuff since she was born. Our argument coincide with him running out of smoking stuff, because he seems agressive and anxious. I feel like I'm treading on eggshells. Can't talk to anyone close because of the smoking so his family think i am overeacting. Please help do I sound depressed or am I just upset...?

spacedonkey Sat 22-Jan-05 14:35:44

tbh it sounds like he's projecting his problems onto you chickyboo. Has he got a drink/drugs problem do you think?

KateandtheGirls Sat 22-Jan-05 14:38:14

Is your husband a psychiatrist, or a medical doctor of any kind?

No? Then he isn't qualified to suggest you go on ADs. Maybe you could speak to your doc anyway just to appease him? Maybe you are slightly depressed. But if not then at least your husband will know you aren't.

Frizbe Sat 22-Jan-05 14:38:57

Sounds like you want to be able to talk this out together, but with the smoking thing causing a communication problem, this is not going to be easy for you, (I take it its an illegal smoking thing?) you could try writing this down for your dh to ponder over? just an idea and bump {{hugs}}

KateandtheGirls Sat 22-Jan-05 14:41:33

I didn't quite understand the "smoking stuff" reference.

Chickyboo Sat 22-Jan-05 14:46:20

I don't think he has a drink prob as he never used to drink before baby...but the smoking has always been there, just wasn't a prob before btu when he is stoned I don't get any conversation from him and he doesn't seem to be bothered by anything normal sysptoms but it is hwen he isn't that is the problem he becomes so angry and crirical. Maybe I will go to doctor just to shut him up.If I get upset about anything especially if it is something minor he says I am crazy and need help. Basically I've told him its because he's lazy and the house is a mess no jobs getting done loads of half done DIY jobs. I do seem to be more pre-mens since baby but he just says thats an excuse and to pull myself together or else..

Chickyboo Sat 22-Jan-05 14:47:37

smoking stuff...grass nothing stronger.

amynnixmum Sat 22-Jan-05 14:50:40

The important thing is how you feel and you've said that you don't feel depressed. Sounds like this is his problem not yours. Does dh smoke and drink a lot? If he's getting stressed out when he has run out that suggests that he has a real dependancy on it. We all say stupid things when we argue.

Frizbe Sat 22-Jan-05 14:53:10

sorry but sounds to me like its excessive weed causing the problem, but you have to get him to admit that, its ok in small doses, but get reliant on it and it causes probs, as your finding out....go to the quack, as you say, for the hell of it, be honest with him, drugs n all, and he'll tell you what to do, may even point you in the right direction with dh's issue...you could always point out to dh that if he doesn't address the issue, you will have to involve his family, but that's a whole other can of worms...{{hugs}}

amynnixmum Sat 22-Jan-05 14:54:43

{angry} sounds like he's the one that needs to pull himslef together and help you out a bit more. I had PMT after both mine and I never normally suffer from it. When I stopped breastfeeding and my periods came back I turned into a complete loony.

spacedonkey Sat 22-Jan-05 14:55:29

You don't sound depressed to me chickyboo, it sounds like he is the one with a problem if he is smoking every day and becomes irritable when he runs out. It does sound like he has a dependency, in fact it sounds like he is the one who is depressed, not you!

amynnixmum Sat 22-Jan-05 14:57:12

Agree with SD. Excessive use of cannabis is associated with paranoia and depression.

franch Sat 22-Jan-05 15:01:05

Please tell me he doesn't smoke grass in the house.

Chickyboo Sat 22-Jan-05 16:16:38

No not in house... NO smoking at all in our house.

MeerkatsUnite Sat 22-Jan-05 16:45:12

Chickyboo,

You are not the problem here - he is. I would certainly not go on ADs on his say-so. I would instead talk to your GP about his drug problem and what support you can get for yourself. You need to arm yourself with knowledge regarding cannabis and its effects of long term use.

Would have to say that your DH has a dependency problem with regards to cannabis. Do you yourself think he has a problem?.

Long term use can bring with it both depression and paranoia. This together with alcohol intake is very bad news for you both.

The fact that you are happier when he is not around is extremely telling.

What are you going to do if he does not agree he has a problem and does not stop using?. You need to start making some tough decisions here for yourself and your DD because she is also being affected by this (the argumentative atmosphere in your house is something she will pick up on longer term).

MeerkatsUnite Sat 22-Jan-05 16:47:16

Smoking one or more joints a day during a year or longer is considered long-term use. However, this varies from researcher to researcher.

The health risks of this long-term use are:

In some cases high quantity users can experience feelings of anxiety, depression and be seriously unwell.
Cannabis influences the driving ability.
Smoking cannabis causes carcinogens to enter the body.
During pregnancy, cannabis can have negative consequences for the foetus.
Possibly long-term use of cannabis can affect thinking, emotions and feelings.
In some cases, long-term use of cannabis can lead to dependence and abuse.
Cannabis can provoke a psychosis in people who are sensitive to it.

franch Sat 22-Jan-05 18:17:48

Meerkat, I agree with every word. Hugs to you Chickyboo, hope you manage to get some help.

Tortington Sun 23-Jan-05 01:42:00

everyone has given great advice - if it was me i would tell him to f*ck off and grow up to his responsabilities - he is not 16 years old - so either lay the hell off you or go get some drug councilling. - go on the "TALK TO FRANK" helpline website. get some weed facts and tell him the problem is his.

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