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What do my dds call my step father

(29 Posts)
beansprout Wed 12-Jan-05 16:04:33

No post! What do you call him? Are you close to him?

wild Wed 12-Jan-05 16:05:14

grandad?

galaxy Wed 12-Jan-05 16:07:33

Nnother missing 1st post? My ds calls his b/m's stepdad "Grandad" and my mum "grandma"

KateandtheGirls Wed 12-Jan-05 16:07:56

My children call my stepfather Grandad, and my ex-stepmother Grandma. Together with their biological grandparents that means they have 6 grandparents. My father is getting married (again!) in a couple of weeks, and my ex-stepmum is also in a serious realtionship, but those new partners are just called by their names (or else, where would it end?).

doggiewalker Wed 12-Jan-05 16:08:45

Gramps or Pops?

FineFigureFio Wed 12-Jan-05 16:09:13

my kids call my stepdad grandad

katzguk Wed 12-Jan-05 16:10:13

my DD calls her step grandad - grandad

so she has three grandads

but her step-grandma - by her name

That what they wanted!

scaltygirl Wed 12-Jan-05 16:11:56

Message withdrawn

beansprout Wed 12-Jan-05 16:12:44

I'm a step parent and wouldn't ever expect to be called anything else other than my name, but then again, I'm a different generation.

One of my friends insists that her dd calls me "Auntie x" but as I am not related, I don't see the point?!

FineFigureFio Wed 12-Jan-05 16:13:51

and my stepdad is only 50 and has no kids of his own but likes being called grandad

Bozza Wed 12-Jan-05 16:14:29

My children (well perhaps not DD because she is only 8mo ) call their two grandmas, two grandads and two great-grandads by grandma/grandad and the christian name to differentiate.

scaltygirl Wed 12-Jan-05 16:15:49

Message withdrawn

galaxy Wed 12-Jan-05 16:16:58

Have you asked him what he'd like to be called btw?

beansprout Wed 12-Jan-05 16:17:26

We used to differentiate by their pets, so we had Nanny Ricky (after her dog) and Nanny Joey (after her budgie!!!)

tarantula Wed 12-Jan-05 16:22:26

I think it depends on the person really. Have you asked them what they would like to be called.
My dp's ex's mum is known to dd as nana xxx (well will be when shes old enough to talk and understand fully) cos thats what her big brother calls her. She chuffed to bits by that.
But I know another person who refuses to be called Grandad cos its so aging.
Each to their own

jenkel Wed 12-Jan-05 16:40:34

Sorry everybody, where on earth did this post go.

Anywhere here goes

My dad died 10 years ago and I was a real daddies girl, mum married 8 years later and I think the world of my stepdad. Anyway before my 2 dd's were born I spoke to my mum and said that I didnt want my stepdad to be known as grandad, she agreed and would speak to him but didnt think he would mind, his own sons call him by his first name anyway and always have, I suggested that he came up with another name other than grandad that he would like to known by. Anway, he didnt come up with any name and my 2 1/2 year old has just started calling him by his first name. Anyway, since my dd's have been born our relatioship with him has changed somewhat. Again, I've been speaking to my mum and she reckons that he doesnt like to be called by his first name especially as him grandchildren call mum grandma. Mu is fine with it and understands why I feel this way, but I dont want my stepfather to be hurt bu this. How do others get round this.

katzguk Wed 12-Jan-05 16:43:32

why not give your stepdad a name all of his own like grampy, or poppa

galaxy Wed 12-Jan-05 16:44:30

It's such a personal thing but I lost my dad and then my step-dad. I didn't have kids when mum remarried but sister did and her kids just called him "Grandad Dave".

Uwila Wed 12-Jan-05 16:56:33

I too think you should ask him what he'd like to be called. My husbands step father was soooo offended when I was pregnant with dd and sent dh's mother an e-mail asking about her side of the family for some geneology history to put in the baby book. My husband calls him, Tom, not Dad. DH's Dad walked out when there were FIVE young boys in the house (aged about 5 to 12). In came Tom, and raised these kids. So when I neglected to consider him as the granddad he was rather offeneded. It just didn't occur to me. But, we of course now refer to him as "Granddad". There is no issue of competition because my husband's father passed away before I ever met him, and before dd was born.

In retrospect, I think Tom Tom deserves HUGE credits for raising another man's 5 children. I think it's a lot of work to raise your own kids, but it takes someone really speacial to raise someone else's kids... FIVE of them.

Anyway, I felt like such an ass for offending him. OOPS!

However, when dd is old enough, I will explain to her ther her paternal grandfather is dead. I will tell her who he was and what happened to him. But, we will always refer to Tom as "grandad".

Ooo... that turned into a long post, sorry.

Prettybird Wed 12-Jan-05 17:07:56

I'd also suggest some sort of "pet name" if he is no longer happy with his first name.

My father is known as Opa by ds - it is what my dad used to call his (German) grandfather.

I used to call my mother's mother "Dodo" - I think it meant Granny in one of the African languages, but to me it just meant my Mum's Mum IFYSWIM

lowcalCOD Wed 12-Jan-05 17:09:36

aaa uwila very gracious of you to "back donw" good for you

jojo38 Thu 13-Jan-05 23:06:27

Ask him.

ThomCat Thu 13-Jan-05 23:08:57

Lottie calls my stepdad Grandpa as that's wat he choose for her to call him when I asked if he wanted to be Grandad or Grandpa or Pops etc.
I wouldn't have it any other way, he is her grandfather.

lalaa Thu 13-Jan-05 23:16:22

Yes, ask him. My step mother wants to be known as Nanny xxx, but I want my dd to call her just by her name. My husband can't stand the term 'Nanny' and I had to ask my Mum to be Granny rather than Nanny (tradition in my family for the maternal grandmother). I don't call my step mother 'Mum' so I don't get it.

ChicPea Thu 13-Jan-05 23:18:43

My DD calls my FIL by his first name. It works.

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