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I am going to SCREAM.....

(28 Posts)
jampots Tue 11-Jan-05 18:26:26

Dh just come in about quarter to six (not due in til after 6) and has gone mad at me 'cos he said the house is a mess. I have, apparently, done nothing today.

In reality I have got kids ready for school and did the school run (approx 1hour start to finish), on the way back from school run DH rings me up and says he forgot to do his tub of fruit for breaktime, so could I do his fruit and drop it to him in 5 MINUTES! so I did although did take me 10 mins, got home at 9.25, appt at hosp with dietician (in reality Fat Fighters) at 9.45 which lasted about hour and a bit, appt then at CAB re: redundancy at 12 - they are running late so it all moves on, got home about 1.15. Grabbed a quick bite to eat and then made some phone calls, spun the washing and made attempts to dry it, start school run, home at 4. Spent 10 mins sitting down, started preparing tea and then he's in. Utter misery. Sorry for ranting....

NameChangingMancMidlander Tue 11-Jan-05 18:27:57

Merlin Tue 11-Jan-05 18:28:13

How unreasonable - tell him his dinner is in the dog!!.

NameChangingMancMidlander Tue 11-Jan-05 18:28:39

I'm a SAHM too, and sometimes I do get the feeling that dh thinks I sit on my arse watching Trisha all day....

P.S. Jampots, are you jampot ?

PuffTheMagicDragon Tue 11-Jan-05 18:29:16

I'd be livid too.

nutcracker Tue 11-Jan-05 18:30:18

Hope you don't mind me saying this jampot but why did you take him his fruit ?? would it of killed him to miss it for one day??

When you were talking to me on msn the other day and you said you had to go make dh's sarnies i was tempted to say "why, has he lost the use of his hands".

Hope i haven't offended you, but can he not do anything for himself ??

bizzi Tue 11-Jan-05 18:31:24

can relate to this! Poor you.

Freckle Tue 11-Jan-05 18:32:08

Thump him. I get this often from dh. He comes in from work, having 2 secretaries to cater to his every need. He then starts to point out all the deficiencies in the house, forgetting that I have had 3 (and often more) boys in the house since 3.30pm creating complete mayhem, during which time I have probably done a load of washing, unloaded and loaded dishwasher (something which he seems incapable of, despite the fact that he often used to do the washing up - pre dishwasher days), tidied some rooms (just not the ones he chooses to visit) and 101 other things.

Trouble is, whenever he has been left in charge of children, he keeps the house immaculately and thinks this should be a doddle for me. What he chooses to forget is that he hasn't done any cleaning, washing, ironing, running children to activities (these apparently don't happen when I'm not there), etc. etc. So he always has a skewed idea of what is involved in my daily life.

It's a male thing.

dawnie1 Tue 11-Jan-05 18:32:09

I HATE it when dh comes in early. At 5.45 the house is a pigsty and dd and I are very happy. By 6pm the house is tidy, dd is crying and I am stressed but dh comes in and he is happy.
By 6.15 it like a pigsty again but we are all happy.
If he comes home when the house is messy he has a go at me and then I sulk and the evening is ruined. MEN!!

blueteddy Tue 11-Jan-05 18:33:32

Sounds just like my dh!

KBear Tue 11-Jan-05 18:33:57

Invent an important appointment which means he has to take a day off and look after the kids.

He will soon see exactly what can be achieved and trust me he won't even think about doing washing.

My DH works shifts and on the days he does the school run and looks after DS he says "I take my hat off to you, I don't know how you do it". And doesn't do any housework either, just takes care of the kids.

If he wanted to live in a pristine, toy-free batchelor pad he should have stayed a batchelor.

We're with you!

galaxy Tue 11-Jan-05 18:41:09

My dh is a tidy fiend but has given up moaning after I went ballistic one evening. He now just goes round tidying up instead.

Don't blameyou for ranting - really used to get on my nerves.

KathH Tue 11-Jan-05 18:42:42

hi - i am currently on maternity leave - youngest is 14 1/2 wks. Also have 3 other kids. Baby also has reflux so am constantly clearing up puke, getting changed, getting baby changed, etc. In recent row DH told me it was about time i got up off my fat arse and went back to work. Have concluded men are w***s if you catch my drift.

littlemissbossy Tue 11-Jan-05 18:42:54

No apology needed Jampot, I understand just how you feel. Used to get this from dh all the time, plus he often leaves things he needs for work at home (although more important than fruit), so I have to drive to his office regularly - an hour round trip
One day recently, dh was home for an hour between meetings and witnessed me racing round the house like a headless-chicken - he had a surprised look on his face and said "you are busy when you're at home, aren't you?" FFS

lou33 Tue 11-Jan-05 18:55:19

God I hate hearing how some men can be

Tell him to stop acting like a spoilt child and make him finish it off himself.

Dh would get it over his head if he dared say that to me.

nutcracker Tue 11-Jan-05 18:58:39

Dp yesterday sat on the sofa after the kids had gone to bed and said looking around "you've been busy today haven't you bab (i hate that word) "

Obviously as oppose to every other day when i tidy up, clean and generally run round like i nutter for everyone.

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Tue 11-Jan-05 19:05:32

DH once came home and told me that it would be nice if things were tidy and that he thought I hadn't done much all day. I took the weekend off, went to my sister's and left him to it. When I got back the kids were wired and he was going spare. He decided to prove that everything could be neat and tidy etc, but was so busy doing that that he did nothing at all with the children. Now I regularly leave him to it whilst I do incredibly important things with my sister, you know, cinema, dinner out, drinking wine through the night. Strangely he doesn't complain anymore (in fact he pays for a cleaner to help me out)

jampots Tue 11-Jan-05 20:07:20

sadly he's now playing the "you're at home all frigging day doing nothing, i'm out at work from 7am" card.

Nutty - dont mind you saying that at all. I dont normally do his sandwiches but now it appears I have to earn my keep .


<Jampot knifes dh while no one is looking>

colditzmum Tue 11-Jan-05 20:08:13

Tell him if he wanted a mindful wife, he should have married one.

lou33 Tue 11-Jan-05 20:13:42

tell him to blow it out his arse

KBear Tue 11-Jan-05 20:24:21

There we were, all being polite and constructive when actually Lou33 had the answer all along!!!!


maria1966 Tue 11-Jan-05 22:32:45

Hi it lease it sounds like your DH comes straight home from work mine goes to the pub most nights straight from work and then comes home and moans the kids are'nt in bed the house is a mess etc
pulling my hair out

Piffle Tue 11-Jan-05 22:53:06

jaysus some men are absolute arses
I am lucky lucky lucky with mine!
Will keep him after all, despite the foulest ever recorded wind breaking odors...
Why do men feel the need to run down the mothers of their kids who spend all day working for HIS family's comfort and care.

Dior Tue 11-Jan-05 23:29:12

Message withdrawn

joash Tue 11-Jan-05 23:47:11

WHy not really enjoy youreslf and spend a day with the kids doing absolutely nothing - then he'll see what the house really looks like when literally nothing gets done.

I once did this with DH, when I was just training him. Left absolutely everything where it fell, was pushed, dropped or whatever. Fed myself and the kids and left all the pots. Changed nappies and left the dirty ones where they were, etc, etc - he never complained again and he cleaned all the mess up.

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