MIL Question .......

[crystaltips]

Happy new Year y'all

Brief History .....

• MIL double crossed DH about 2 and a bit years ago.
  
• Family business thing
  
• I haven't seen her since - cos DH is a kind decent and honest man - and she is a witch
  
• PILs are BOTH alcoholics
  
• DH and kids still visit
  
  Now - here we go .....
  
  MIL has made a couple of drunken phonecalls ( new year and all that ) and has basically told me to get in touch with her .....
  
  SHould I contact her ??
  
  Help
  
  Don't want to ( as I am a stubborn cow ) she has caused SO much grief over the years .... terrified of re-opening old wounds ....
  
  Anyone ?

[milliways]

Maybe she has made a New Year Resolution to be nicer? My MIL doesn't talk to my SIL and I just feel sorry for the Grandchildren as things get awkward. A phone call can always be cut off if things get heated.
Fingers crossed for you.

[crystaltips]

POint is that DH takes the kids to see them ....

[zebra]

I wouldn't ring her. She can phone you when she's sober if she's serious about making up.

[JudgeFlounce]

Message deleted

[NameChangingMancMidlander]

Agreed, I'd leave the call well alone.

[crystaltips]

That's exactly how I feel - but DH ( and my Mum for that matter ) feel that I should proceed cautiously ....

I'd rather freeze her out .... as the past few years have been great without her ....

Just feel ( perhaps ? ) that I owe it to DH to be magnanimous ?

[Libb]

maybe recent events have made her think? it would be a shame to lose a possible reconciliation - if that is something you think you can be happy with? I don't know your history with her but could she be genuine this time?

Hope I am not speaking out of term xx

[JudgeFlounce]

Message deleted

[Mooseofawaterwitch]

I don't think I would tbh. I'd wait til she called me sober and only then I'd talk/be polite. Bet she doesn't remember the other calls and the sober call doesn't happen. Sorry.

[crystaltips]

Magnanimous

English - was never my stong point ... praps I used the wrong word ... I meant "generous" but NOT forgiving

[Caligula]

Agree with others - think about it only when she makes a sober phone call.

[crystaltips]

Ho Hum ...
Just phoned the old witch .... decided that I wanted to be in control of the situation - rather than dodging her calls.
She asked me to come over next time DH takes the kids - I was suitably vague .... and hope not to speak to her for another couple of years .... ...
Trouble is that she's the sort of person that "Give 'em an inch and they take the mile"

Anywya just phoned DH to tell him that I'd called - and he was really grateful ... so I spose I have done the right thing ?????

[beachyhead]

I guess if DH has forgiven her, its kind of his argument and there's no reason for you to carry it on when he has got over it.

I would go with him, but not on a regular basis, only on your terms, so you don't feel beholden to her. If she behaves like a witch, just quietly step back into the shadows again without making it a big deal.....

[emmatmg]

Oh, I've spent he last last how ever many years bending over backwards for MIL but again she throws it back in my face. I've lost count of the number of things she'd done.

I posted this in the summer but briefly she ignored us (me and Ds's) in the street. Would have been only the second time she's seen DS3. Anyway none of them have had birthday cards, even DS3 1st birthday was ignored. The Xmas card didn't have any names in it AT ALL and over new year she was staying with BIL around the corner and didn't bother to ask to see our Ds's. She, thankfully lives 130 miles away but couldn't be bothered to see them.

Good for you crystaltips, glad your MIL is holding out an olive branch but if mine did the same I burn it....

[crystaltips]

emma.... I'd gladly burn her at the stake .... using the olive branch that she proffers .... my view is that leopards never change their spots .... and alcoholic ones are the worst ....
as bh says .... as soon as she puts a step wrong ( which is inevitable ) is shall withdraw thinking "told you so"

Every time I think of her I get all cross and angry ... I dispise the cow ..... Thinks you have all gathered that by now