Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

MIL Question .......

(16 Posts)
crystaltips Tue 04-Jan-05 21:19:24

Happy new Year y'all

Brief History .....

* MIL double crossed DH about 2 and a bit years ago.
* Family business thing
* I haven't seen her since - cos DH is a kind decent and honest man - and she is a witch
* PILs are BOTH alcoholics
* DH and kids still visit

Now - here we go .....

MIL has made a couple of drunken phonecalls ( new year and all that ) and has basically told me to get in touch with her .....

SHould I contact her ??

Help

Don't want to ( as I am a stubborn cow ) she has caused SO much grief over the years .... terrified of re-opening old wounds ....

Anyone ?

milliways Tue 04-Jan-05 21:22:19

Maybe she has made a New Year Resolution to be nicer? My MIL doesn't talk to my SIL and I just feel sorry for the Grandchildren as things get awkward. A phone call can always be cut off if things get heated.
Fingers crossed for you.

crystaltips Tue 04-Jan-05 21:28:16

POint is that DH takes the kids to see them ....

zebra Tue 04-Jan-05 21:28:37

I wouldn't ring her. She can phone you when she's sober if she's serious about making up.

JudgeFlounce Tue 04-Jan-05 21:31:12

Message deleted

NameChangingMancMidlander Tue 04-Jan-05 21:32:59

Agreed, I'd leave the call well alone.

crystaltips Tue 04-Jan-05 21:35:06

That's exactly how I feel - but DH ( and my Mum for that matter ) feel that I should proceed cautiously ....

I'd rather freeze her out .... as the past few years have been great without her ....

Just feel ( perhaps ? ) that I owe it to DH to be magnanimous ?

Libb Tue 04-Jan-05 21:38:40

maybe recent events have made her think? it would be a shame to lose a possible reconciliation - if that is something you think you can be happy with? I don't know your history with her but could she be genuine this time?

Hope I am not speaking out of term xx

JudgeFlounce Tue 04-Jan-05 21:44:23

Message deleted

Mooseofawaterwitch Tue 04-Jan-05 21:46:27

I don't think I would tbh. I'd wait til she called me sober and only then I'd talk/be polite. Bet she doesn't remember the other calls and the sober call doesn't happen. Sorry.

crystaltips Tue 04-Jan-05 21:49:51

Magnanimous

English - was never my stong point ... praps I used the wrong word ... I meant "generous" but NOT forgiving

Caligula Tue 04-Jan-05 21:51:18

Agree with others - think about it only when she makes a sober phone call.

crystaltips Wed 05-Jan-05 12:50:38

Ho Hum ...
Just phoned the old witch .... decided that I wanted to be in control of the situation - rather than dodging her calls.
She asked me to come over next time DH takes the kids - I was suitably vague .... and hope not to speak to her for another couple of years .... ...
Trouble is that she's the sort of person that "Give 'em an inch and they take the mile"

Anywya just phoned DH to tell him that I'd called - and he was really grateful ... so I spose I have done the right thing ?????

beachyhead Wed 05-Jan-05 13:14:31

I guess if DH has forgiven her, its kind of his argument and there's no reason for you to carry it on when he has got over it.

I would go with him, but not on a regular basis, only on your terms, so you don't feel beholden to her. If she behaves like a witch, just quietly step back into the shadows again without making it a big deal.....

emmatmg Wed 05-Jan-05 13:30:34

Oh, I've spent he last last how ever many years bending over backwards for MIL but again she throws it back in my face. I've lost count of the number of things she'd done.

I posted this in the summer but briefly she ignored us (me and Ds's) in the street. Would have been only the second time she's seen DS3. Anyway none of them have had birthday cards, even DS3 1st birthday was ignored. The Xmas card didn't have any names in it AT ALL and over new year she was staying with BIL around the corner and didn't bother to ask to see our Ds's. She, thankfully lives 130 miles away but couldn't be bothered to see them.

Good for you crystaltips, glad your MIL is holding out an olive branch but if mine did the same I burn it....

crystaltips Wed 05-Jan-05 18:24:29

emma.... I'd gladly burn her at the stake .... using the olive branch that she proffers .... my view is that leopards never change their spots .... and alcoholic ones are the worst ....
as bh says .... as soon as she puts a step wrong ( which is inevitable ) is shall withdraw thinking "told you so"

Every time I think of her I get all cross and angry ... I dispise the cow ..... Thinks you have all gathered that by now

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now