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I am in love and it's making me miserable

(233 Posts)
beansmum Sat 12-Apr-08 16:58:46

I realise this sounds ridiculous but I am completely in love with a guy who I met again for the first time in 10 years last night. He is a friend from school in NZ who is in the UK for work. He is leaving again on monday, just to go back to work, not back to NZ and the thought of it is making me actually cry. Am I a complete freak? what should I do? I am seriously thinking of moving back to NZ to be there when he gets back. Tell me how to get over this please!

QueenMeabhOfConnaught Sat 12-Apr-08 17:10:01

Gosh, beansmum, sounds like a very strong reaction! Did you feel like this about him when you knew him before? Are there other things going on in your life that might make you want to abandon everything and go off to NZ?

Jazzicatz Sat 12-Apr-08 17:11:35

Are you missing NZ - and meeting your chap has reminded you of the time spent in NZ?

beansmum Sat 12-Apr-08 17:18:09

We did go out for about 5 mins in 6th form but it wasn't anything serious. I was trying so hard not to be weird today but was practically drooling. He is soooooo nice. We had the best time last night just talking about books and history and his job (he's a marine, just got back from afganistan). He is brilliant with ds and yummy. Luckily he is out with his brother tonight so I can cry in peace.

My life is fine, I'm pretty happy at home with ds and studying, my 10 year plan is going ok so far! AAaaaaaaaargggggggggggh

LynetteScavo Sat 12-Apr-08 17:23:39

Are you both single?

QueenMeabhOfConnaught Sat 12-Apr-08 17:24:12

I wouldn't normally say this but your feelings seem so strong - have you anything to lose by telling him how you feel?

Mumcentreplus Sat 12-Apr-08 17:26:22

Do you think he feels the same about you?...

LynetteScavo Sat 12-Apr-08 17:27:48

if you are both single, what do you have to lose by telling him how you feel?

beansmum Sat 12-Apr-08 17:30:24

We are both single. But I don't want to totally embarrass myself, and him, by telling him how I feel, it just sounds so stupid. It is stupid really, he is on holiday until June but them prob going back to afganistan (unless he gets onto some kind of paramedic course in scotland, I have all my fingers crossed), wants to stay in the marines for at least 5 years and then go back to NZ to join the police. I am totally shocked by how strong my feelings are, I haven't had this kind of reaction to a guy ever before.

beansmum Sat 12-Apr-08 17:31:53

I keep thinking that I could just go and live in Auckland, which would be nice anyway, ds could play lots of rugby, I could eat lots of pies... it is really really possible

Rubyrubyruby Sat 12-Apr-08 17:33:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beansmum Sat 12-Apr-08 17:39:38

he might think I'm insane, he might tell someone who would tell someone else...and then the whole of NZ would know and I could never show my face there again. which would be a shame.

We had such an amazing day today, doing touristy stuff, out for lunch, then he needed to buy a suit for a funeral so I took him shopping and even though it should have been boring it was so much fun. I am crying again, ds is very confused.

Wishing I had name changed for this now...I am not usually such a freak, honest.

getmeouttahere Sat 12-Apr-08 17:41:47

Tell him

Tell him

Tell him

Then tell us what he says.

beansmum Sat 12-Apr-08 17:51:06

What could I say that doesn't sound stupid though? Umm I know we have only spent one day together in 10 years but I love you and want to move back to NZ with you. He would be very very scared.

FrayedKnot Sat 12-Apr-08 18:02:41

No don;t say you love him and want to live with him for ever and ever, just say you've really enjoyed the time you've spent with him over the last day or two and would like to spend more time with him..

That couldn;t possibly scare him, could it?

Don;t cry..it could be the start of something lovely smile

CrackerOfNuts Sat 12-Apr-08 18:06:09

You absolutly must tell him, you will regret it forever if you don't.

dizzydixies Sat 12-Apr-08 18:09:25

AGREE - strongly agree, tell him tell him tell him!

LynetteScavo Sat 12-Apr-08 18:09:56

Really, you can't not tell him. Yes , he might tell somebody, who tells somebody else...... but I'm sue they'll be so busy with their lives they really won't care.

Just tell him you had a fantastic time, and would love everyday to be that great.

beansmum Sat 12-Apr-08 18:10:47

hmm I know he doesn't have anything much planned after tuesday. He's not working again until June, he could easily come back up here...

poshwellies Sat 12-Apr-08 18:11:28

Can't you swop email addresses or write blueys (marines huh?) and see how it goes?

dizzydixies Sat 12-Apr-08 18:13:18

maybe he's just waiting on the invite

why does he want to join the paramedics in scotland - does he have other ties here?

chocolatespiders Sat 12-Apr-08 18:13:28

agree- tell him......

life is far to short for regrets....

StillWaters Sat 12-Apr-08 18:17:40

I agree you must tell him.

And telling him you'd like to spend more time with him is ALOT less insane than moving to NZ on the off chance of something happening one day.

In fact it's not insane at all, it's the rational thing to do.

So what if he tells someone, what would he say 'beansmum said she had some feelings for me'? SO? their response would be 'oh that's nice what happened did anything work out or not?' and then they'd go back to thinking about their own life.

Do you think he may like you?

I wonder if you are more scared of the possible rejection rather than what people may think? That would be very understandable.

hecate Sat 12-Apr-08 18:17:53

Sounds like a gigantic huge crush! grin I'd say tell him. What's the worst that can happen? I don't mean "I love you and want your babies" maybe how much you have enjoyed his company and you really feel there could be something special between you and you'd like the chance to see.

Or something.

I'm really not good with this stuff.

beansmum Sat 12-Apr-08 18:18:30

it's a navy course I think, just happens to be in scotland.

ok will tell him tomorrow.

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