Scared to have sex since episiotomy - Is this normal?

[shoobaloo]

Gave birth to DS2 11 weeks ago and last week finally felt up to trying to make love with DH. I had an episiotomy at the birth and although everything has healed up, when we tried to make love DH couldn't get 'in' IYSWIM!. It hurt! Now I'm terrified that I've been stitched up too tight! What I really want is reasurrance that this is normal and that I won't 'tear' again if we try to make love again. Have bought some KY Jelly to help things along!

[Maidamess]

Try having a couple of drinks before too. it sounds strange but can just relax you a bit.

[warthog]

i also had an episiotomy, and if it's any comfort, sex is better than before.

[crokky]

Episiotomy scars don't tear during sex. Very very occasionally, they could tear during the birth of a subsequent child. It is normal to worry about it though.

[queenrollo]

i had an episiotomy and i waited until 6 months after birth (not because i was scared, but that's just when i was 'ready') and it was painful the first few times, but very soon felt normal again, although i did find that it ached after sex sometimes. now 2 and half years later i have a very active sex life and no problems or discomfort whatsoever.

i'd suggest taking things slowly, because if you're scared it's going to tear you'll be tense and that's bound to make it worse.

[Rantmum]

Had episiotomy too, and sex was a little erm.. "tight" the first few times, but I think that it may have been that I was tense about it and so was a bit less lubricated (yes tmi, I know) rather than anything else. It is fine now, we just took it slow. Lots of foreplay etc (in theory, I mean what new mum has time for all that really? ) should help

[fairylights]

i had an awful 2nd degree tear that got sewed up a bit tight (which we fixed soon after!) but was also terrified of sex - after 3 months (poor dh!) i went to the dr just so they could have a look and reassure me that everything was in order and nothing was going to come undone - it was all fine and normal relations resumed, slowly but surely.. agree about having a drink and taking things gently..all the best

[fairylights]

WAS fixed soon after - we didn't fix it, the mw did!

[mermer1]

Hi, I had an extended episiotomy 9 weeks ago and a couple of days later all my stitches came undone and I've had an awful time with it. The doctor has told me that I have healed now but some days I am still in considerable pain. I am really nervous about having sex again, I am scared of causing damage and also I feel so unsexy because I feel like the cut was so extended that I have been ruined, if that makes sense. I just feel so uptight about it even though I have been given lots of reassurance that that is not the case. I really want to give it a go though. Does anyone have any tips for the first time or did anyone else feel like this?

[Miggsie]

I left it several months and it didn't hurt at all...don't rush it.
Scar tissue is less stretchy than ordinary tissue so it may just need a couple more weeks or so. Massaging scar tissue makes it more pliable and therefore less likely to hurt.