Covid may have ruined my marriage

Robinni · 2021-12-03 01:01:07

Hi all, I’ll give some background. Prior to the pandemic I’d had a few significant bereavements and significant health problems. Husband and I were relatively happy, saving hard for a proper family home. He had worked incredibly hard and was due a promotion. I was studying and intending to go on to a masters. I had an inheritance that I was keen to invest. I was waiting for my husband to get his promotion and pay off his car and some other debts. Pandemic hit, husband furloughed, promotion disappeared. My health plummeted largely due to lack of access to treatment, but also as we were unable financially to proceed with extending our family a gynae condition I suffer from got much worse. I am now due to have an 8th surgery because of this. I have building resentment towards my husband. Myself and my family have had to support him. He is as I understand it almost debt free and owns his car outright but owes us a lot, tends to work from pay day to pay day. I have tried to encourage him to retrain or even to go and work at tesco because I don’t know how much more of this hell I can take. We have been living separately for several months but successfully coparenting and sort of maintaining a relationship at a base level. He is living in what was our home together. Owned by my family, paying just about enough to cover rates and insurance. I am living back at my childhood home. Our child’s life progresses and the need for a proper home is urgent. There is no outdoor space and it is compact which doesn’t work as our child has additional needs. Had life reverted to normal I think the situation would be salvageable. The situation with the housing market is currently as such that I am left with two options 1) accept that we will be living in a house half the size for the same price and feel resentful towards my husband. 2) invest even more of my inheritance (via my father paying it in advance of his death) which diminishes my income in later life/potential pension which I am reliant upon due to my health issues… again I end up resenting my husband. I can’t really see a clear way of making anything better. It’s exhausting. We have lost 6 people to covid through this too, 2 of them very close and emotionally we’re just strung out. It’s awful. I feel like a nervous wreck anticipating the next lockdown.

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