Going in circles

(5 Posts)
amayy Thu 14-Oct-21 08:10:08

So from my last post you see I was saying I had an off feeling after getting back with a using ex. Well I didn't break up with him, I tried it out stayed with him and oh boy should I have listened to that feeling. We broke up after a short while, he went home but I still felt like I needed him in my life, we were on the phone a lot. Always texting. Anyway I kept asking him to come see me. He wouldn't and one day he said yes. He came for a few nights. He ended up telling me: I don't love you, I care about you as a friend and pretty much he's using me for sex, I was also giving him money for petrol, food, all of that. So I know he's a dick. He's messed around with mine and my child's life, but why can't I block him? We still text, call , I wouldn't let him come back up I want to keep him out my daughters life but why can't I let go?

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Fruitandnuts Thu 14-Oct-21 10:26:54

He is a habit. Habits are hard to break. You really need to go no contact. He has told you there is no future so why are you bothering? Why are you wasting your precious time and energy on him? Block him and move on, its the only way. If your energy is still invested in him, then there is no availability for you to meet anyone else. Every day you spent your mentally on him means you wont be able to spend it on a proper fulfilling relationship. Stop replying to him, take it day by day and each day will get better. Like like a grief, look up the stages of grief and understand you will miss him and have setbacks but long term this is over. Do yourself a favour and start the healing process right now.

Make a list of why hes not good for you. look at it very time you feel sadness.
There are plenty of videos on you tube you help you process your emotions.
Buy some relationship books to help.
Talk to friends.
You lived without him before and you can do it again.
He is not for you. Remove him.

amayy Thu 14-Oct-21 13:40:31

Thank you for responding. I just can't seem to talk myself or force myself into blocking him.

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Fruitandnuts Thu 14-Oct-21 13:48:26

Men generally like to keep the door open to come back, they like options. If you keep engaging in contact by texting.....then you are seen as an option. He has told you clearly he doesnt love you so remember that. He is getting a little ego stroke when you keep in touch and he feels good that he can still get your attention. If he had someone else he was 100% into would he be texting you? No, and as soon as he does have someone else you can rest assured there will be no contact from him , coz he will stop it and focus on his new love interest.

By stopping contact you are free to move on, dont have him feeling you are always there for a light hearted text exchange. Just dont respond. Stop picking at the wound, leave it to heal up, stop contact

amayy Thu 14-Oct-21 17:39:38

Thank you for your advice!

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