Husband's mistress has dumped him and now I want him back!

(204 Posts)
WhereTheFuck Sat 28-Aug-21 14:28:35

Argh I am in such a shitty situation. at the beginning of May my husband left me for a woman he had been having an affair with since before Christmas. We have a DD who was barely 18 months when he left. Since then I have done really well, haven't missed a day of work, been strong for DD and H and I were actually doing an ok job of co-parenting. I even met someone else on tinder in July and we have met a few times and had some great sex blush It was starting to get easier and easier.

Today I have found out that my husband's OW has just dumped him and said she thinks they would be better as friends... and to be honest it has sent me right back to square one. I just feel like this whole situation is a terrible waste, especially for our little DD, and all I want to do is ask my husband to come back and give it another go.

Argh!! Please talk some sense into me sad

OP’s posts: |
kaleidoscopeheartless Sat 28-Aug-21 14:29:11

You are no ones second choice!

Footprintsonmyfloor Sat 28-Aug-21 14:30:25

Don’t do it. He’s abused your trust once, he will do it again.

Sexnotgender Sat 28-Aug-21 14:30:32

He’s hardly a prince amongst men is he?

He fucked off when your little girl was barely more than a baby.

If he’s done it once he’ll do it again.

You can do better.

GinIronic Sat 28-Aug-21 14:30:39

Don’t do it. He will leave again when he gets a better offer.

ZittiEBuoni Sat 28-Aug-21 14:30:41

You deserve better.

TinaYouFatLard Sat 28-Aug-21 14:31:38

You’re worth more than this. Think of the amount of lies he would have told you for the six months he was cheating.

He’ll do it again as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

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Classica Sat 28-Aug-21 14:31:53

YOU DO NOT WANT HIM BACK.

YOU DO NOT WANT HIM BACK.

YOU DO NOT WANT HIM BACK.

Please don't shit over all the progress you've made for your and your daughter x

OneAugustNight Sat 28-Aug-21 14:32:50

Does he want to come back?

Guiltypleasures001 Sat 28-Aug-21 14:33:11

Don't get involved op, you are doing so well, and showing how women should be treated in relationships

You will never trust him, and it gives him the nod to do it again

Aquamarine1029 Sat 28-Aug-21 14:33:54

Take him back so he can cheat on you once again, which he definitely will? Please be smarter than that, and please have higher standards and self-worth.

SukonthaM Sat 28-Aug-21 14:34:56

He doesn’t really want to be with you. You are an option to him. Remember how bad you felt when he first left? And how long it took and how much work you had to put in to get where you are now? Now imagine having to go through that again, because I guarantee he’ll leave again.

QueenofLouisiana Sat 28-Aug-21 14:35:59

Stay away.

Cold and heartless as it sounds, currently your DD knows no different. You are being an excellent mum to her and balancing co-parenting with your H. She is safe and familiar with this. If he comes back and dies this again- and he almost certainly will- she will be aware of the change if she is much older.

You deserve better, your DD deserves better, He’ll even the OW realised that she deserves better!

QueenofLouisiana Sat 28-Aug-21 14:37:03

He’ll = Hell. Autocorrect fail.

Crockof Sat 28-Aug-21 14:37:19

Take him back and everytime he is late coming back from work, everytime his phone goes, your breath will catch in your throat, you daughter will see the drain of colour as you worry and live half a life.
Plus he doesn't want you back, he has been dumped so you would be a rebound, it will be awful.
From your post you have done so well, don't let all that progress go to waste.

Name12341 Sat 28-Aug-21 14:37:29

Consider how a repetition of this would impact your daughter now she's at an age where she's more aware of what is going on.
I would consider giving it a go if he'd ended things and been trying to reconcile after realising he'd made a mistake, but that's not the case.

TalesOfDrunkennessAndCruelty Sat 28-Aug-21 14:37:50

Is there anything to suggest your husband would want to come back? Even if he does, this is a huge, huge thing to come back from. Think very carefully.

WhereTheFuck Sat 28-Aug-21 14:38:01

Thanks guys, this is helping. I keep thinking that maybe we can still have the happy ending I thought we would have when we got married sad but that is really stupid

OP’s posts: |
thefirstmrsrochester Sat 28-Aug-21 14:39:34

Please don’t ask him back. He showed you who he truly was when he walked out on you and your baby for another woman. So the grass wasn’t greener on the other side for him, tough luck. Keep on being amazing as you are right now and continue carving out a happy life for you and your dd, do not take him back.

dickiedavisthunderthighs Sat 28-Aug-21 14:41:24

That happy ending is already fucked, he took it away when he cheated on you when you had a small baby. Believe me when I tell you that you will never get it back.
You control your own happy ending, not some worthless morality-free shite who'd likely only come back for a bed, a shag and some dinner before he fucked off again.

JackieQueen Sat 28-Aug-21 14:41:54

Another vote for don't do it. The trust has gone.

Classica Sat 28-Aug-21 14:43:56

People never get back together and live truly happy lives after that level of betrayal. If you did get back together it would only because you were his only other option.

Bertiebassetsbabe Sat 28-Aug-21 14:44:30

Don’t do it OP.

You can do so much better. You’ll never trust him and it will eat away at you until you do split.

KintsugiCat Sat 28-Aug-21 14:44:43

You just didn’t get a chance to process your feelings at the time, because it was presented to you as a done deal with no chance for you to have input.

So just process how you feel about him cheating and leaving. You just need a chance for your feelings to catch up with themselves. You had to just skip the anger/grieving process before and get on with it.

Journeyofthedragons Sat 28-Aug-21 14:44:55

Fuck that noise OP, you're doing great on your own - stay strong.

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