Well meant comments or digs?

[Orangedots]

Person A brings home some cakes/biscuits/chocolate gifts from the end of term at work.

Person B (family member) says they need to think about which of them they will or won’t eat as they’ll waste their summer and put on ‘atleast a stone’ if they eat them all.

Person B is fairly obsessed with weight and tells person A very regularly that they’re damaging their health/need to exercise more and lose weight. Comments on what they eat and tells them they have ‘wasted the day’ if they’ve eaten badly.

They have been called out on such comments but tell person A it’s only because they love them so much and want them to be healthy.

It’s hard to tell if they are well meant or digs. Anyone experienced similar?

[thistimelastweek]

Person B needs to shut up.

[frogswimming]

Is person A overweight or obese? If they are a healthy weight it's in called for but maybe there is a health concern.

[frogswimming]

In called for

[frogswimming]

Omg un

[StepladderToHeaven]

Person B sounds like a pain in the arse. Even if they're concerned about A's health, it doesn't help A for them to bang on and on about it.

[SixesAndEights]

Person B is an arsehole. If I was Person A I'd be single, can't be arsed with nastiness wrapped up as "helpful" comments.

If there's a health concern being a twat isn't the way to address it. Making these kinds of comments then saying, oh it's just because I love you. Pah!

[Bluntness100]

Can you comment more on person A’s weight and fitness?

[thistimelastweek]

I don't buy the 'it's coming from a loving place' or it's motivated by concern for health.

I'm assuming Person A is a responsible adult who should be left to monitor their own food intake.

Person B is out of line.

[Bluntness100]

I think it really depends on the weight issue here. A healthy weight they are being an arsehole, overweight or obese it could be concern handled badly

Whenever there’s a thread on here about a man being overweight everyone is like yeah, give him hints, tell him straight, buy healthy food, I don’t fancy that either

When it’s a woman, everyone is like what an arsehole.

And I think people are assuming this is an overweight woman who is a.

[SoddingWeddings]

It doesn't matter whether A is 27 stone or 7 stone. B is an arsehole.

[overthethamesfromyou]

If B ever wants to have sex (again) with A, they should wind their neck in

[30degreesandmeltinghere]

Person A needs to tell person B that person A will in fact be eating the entire confection.. And person B can fuck off if they don't want to watch...

[MrsKeats]

Eat person B.
It's the only way.

[thistimelastweek]

@Bluntness100 we don't know Person A is a woman or that Person B is a man.

And there's a big difference between self-appointment as the good police and expressing concern about health on one occasion.

[thistimelastweek]

food not good

[layladomino]

Context is important.

If person A has previously said 'I desperately want to lose 2 stone, please, I don't feel healthy, please support me' then that's what person B is doing.

If person A has had a warning from a GP that their weight is threatening their health, then person B is coming from a position of concern.

If you reframe the whole conversation around alcohol rather than foosd, and person A has been drinking too much / drink is affecting their health then would you argue that person B should keep their opinions to themselves?

However, if person A is perfectly happy with the weight / hasn't expressed any wish for support to lose weight then person B shouldn't keep forcing their opinion on them.

[theodoracarp]

Thinking to person A should be indicated and not letting person indicate what to give or not to do to person A with his body

[Bluntness100]

[quote thistimelastweek]@Bluntness100 we don't know Person A is a woman or that Person B is a man.

And there's a big difference between self-appointment as the good police and expressing concern about health on one occasion.[/quote]
This is exactly my point. No one knows.

[CookPassBabtridge]

What does "waste the day" and "waste the summer" mean in this context?
Person B needs to pipe down!

[Orangedots]

To answer some questions, yes person A does need to lose weight. (Around 6 ish stone).

Person B helpfully reminds them of this every day.

[KingdomScrolls]

Six stone to lose is a lot. Does person A complain or get upset about their weight a lot, but then eat unhealthy foods/large portions/doesn't exercise etc?

[lafiesansvert]

@Orangedots

To answer some questions, yes person A does need to lose weight. (Around 6 ish stone).

Person B helpfully reminds them of this every day.

In that case, I'd say person B is trying to help but is perhaps a bit clueless about how to go about it.

[Bluntness100]

I suspected that to be the case. That’s a lot of weight A is obese or morbidly obese depending on height.

That CAN impact many things, from appearance, to how they feel about themselves, to physical attraction in a relationship, through to signficant health concerns, ability to do things etc.

I can see why b comments when junk is brought into th house and concern about As health. However they seem to be going about it the wrong way, it’s not helping.

Are a and b partners or is this siblings, parent and child etc?

[memberofthewedding]

My mother was like person B. I told her that her opinion was no more important to me than that of some stranger I might pass in the street.

It didnt stop her saying the things but put her in her place.

[BillMasen]

Depends

If A is a woman then B is an arse
If A is a man then B is concerned, or perfectly reasonably less attracted to A