I'm having counselling. My ex partner I kicked out begining of June for suspected cheating and later discovered drug use. He's desperate to come back, and I did waiver but I now have asked for 1 month of space to sort my head out and make sure I'm making the decision because its right not because I'm scared and his badgering me. I do love him but I really belive his behaviour is awful and I deserve better/he will never change.
He's messaged or called every single day since I asked for space 3 days ago.
I made a list of lies/incidnets since our baby was born who is now 3:
Summer 2018 when I was pregnant on adult fetish site messaging other user for personal photos.
Autum 2018: lying about contact with an ex. Which didn't matter apart from the lie.
Winter 2019: I was away with our toddler and he invited another women to stay in my house. She declined but I saw messaged, he deleted them before I confronted him.
Winter 2020 took another women to an event and didn't tell me about it. Always tells me whose going with for work, so it was odd. He works with women all the time so it was really odd for him to not tell me, I don't care and this person doesn't work for him or in the industry. Agreed no contact with her as I was unhappy and don't work together.
End may 2021 : saw contact on phone as using it as mine was flat with same woman, he then deleted messaged after as didn't know I saw. Just caht nothing sinister.
Early June : took the smae woman away for a weekend event, deleted all contact, lied about who was there and asked our joint friends to lie she was there with him. They didn't and I found out through social media. I threw him out for the lying/poss cheating and later discovered drug use as well.
I know I am a mug, but he's soo convincing that it's all in my head but I know I'm not wrong. The drugs alone and lies are enough.
How do I give my head a good wobble?
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Relationships
Help me to see my own worth and not waiver
Pleaseaddcaffine · 22/07/2021 19:07
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