(6 Posts)
Zlong94 Thu 22-Jul-21 16:08:16

I have no one else to talk to about this so I'm asking you ladies, please not hate etc

My LG is 10months old, been with her dad for 2.5yrs, at the start was amazing we were made for each other, always laughing and messing around etc, I moved into his dad's with him and apart from the house being awful it was great. I then found out I was pregnant and we had to get our own place etc and that's when it started... I have a lovley new build bungalow and so lucky to get it! The rent is £153 a week so not the cheapest but certainly not high and would pay alot more private rent (with housing atm) he moaned and said we could of gotten somewhere cheaper etc even tho would be a 1 bed shit flat... He promised so many things before she was here and then done nothing, no night feeds etc etc he plays on his xbox alot and many contributing factors he doesn't do... Now I feel so unhappy have felt like this a while and have told him but everytime he says that he will try and take my child and I have ruined his life and what is he going to do etc he currently lives at his dad during the week and I'm so happy when he isn't there I'm dreading him coming home tonight the house is in my name etc but I feel trapped I end up going back with him everytime and I'm just not happy

Any advice x

OP’s posts: |
username18702 Thu 22-Jul-21 16:19:20

I'm at a loss as to why you remain with him OP. He sounds like a 15 year old. You have your own place which is great. I hope he's not on the tenancy. Can you contact either Gingerbread or the Money Advice Service and speak to them about benefits and child maintenance? Gingerbread have a helpline and can explain how to go about claiming child maintenance and what benefits you are entitled to.

I would also have a think about getting back to work and getting your independence back. Perhaps check out Prospects for ideas and training.

You need to dump him OP, he's a moron.

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 22-Jul-21 16:21:24

Stop telling him you are unhappy because he does not care at all either for you or for that matter his child. His threats to take his child away from you are bluster and intentionally designed to keep you in line. This man can barely be bothered with his kid as it is, he is playing with your emotions. You have not ruined his life either; again a charge such an abuser levels at their chosen target. He's also a manchild and he can live with his dad as he is doing now.

Are you solely named on this tenancy agreement?. It seems that this is indeed the case.

You will basically keep on getting the same if not escalated levels of abuse from him if you keep on going back to him. Seeing you being abused by him will also affect your child markedly. Protect your child as well as yourself from him. Pursue him for child maintenance; he is financially responsible for his child.

Zlong94 Thu 22-Jul-21 16:38:02

Yh he is childish, he is not on tenancy, I have sorted out benefits etc so I can pay for rent etc, thank you for your advice xx

OP’s posts: |
Zlong94 Thu 22-Jul-21 16:40:00

Thank you so much for advice xx

OP’s posts: |
OliveToboogie Thu 22-Jul-21 18:04:24

Get rid end of. It's your house so he has no right to be there. Plz send him packing. Don't let your children grow up thinking this is normal behaviour from their dad. It's not. They and you deserve so much better.

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