DH working nights.

(32 Posts)
Bookaholic73 Thu 22-Jul-21 08:55:48

My DH has been working for the same company for years, and just switched roles. So he will now be working nights.

It’s 4 nights a week, 10 hours per shift. Working 9pm -7am.

I’ve never had a partner who has worked nights before.

Apart from having to keep the noise down during the day (not a problem, we don’t have young kids) is there anything we should consider or think about?
Any tips or advice for him or me?

OP’s posts: |
Outbutnotoutout Thu 22-Jul-21 09:19:58

Don't expect him to be up and about at 12noon and ready to do stuff.

Make sure he gets his full 8hours sleep.

Nights really take it out of you

pinkyredrose Thu 22-Jul-21 09:21:41

Don't ask him if he's tired when he comes in in the morning!

giletrouge Thu 22-Jul-21 09:22:13

It puts your body and metabolism out of whack. Makes it really important to eat well but extra difficult, because you eat at odd times. I used to work nights long ago - I remember how hard it is to 'train' your body to do what you want it to. And I know someone now who works nights and has real trouble regulating food - because you never really know whether it's dinner time or breakfast time and over-tiredness makes you tend to want to over eat. Both of you knowing this in advance could help you to mitigate the effects.

whoknew23 Thu 22-Jul-21 09:24:55

His sleep pattern on days off will be all over the place,

I used to work 4 nights mon-thur and by the time Friday night came around I couldn't sleep which knocked into Saturday.

NannyAndJohn Thu 22-Jul-21 09:29:18

Don't let him use nights as an excuse for not contributing around the house.

isettled Thu 22-Jul-21 09:34:49

Let him find his routine and don't try to tell him what he should be doing.

Nightshift work is tough. I still struggle to get decent sleep even after 17yrs. I tend to sleep 8am-11am then 6pm-8pm. But I have colleagues who get their best sleep on nights.

I'd make sure you have a good blackout blind/curtain that definitely helps and earplugs to try.


beautifullymad Thu 22-Jul-21 09:38:12

Working nights has negative long term health effects. Try to help him sleep for a minimum of 8 hours to negate this.

Good back out blinds and reduced noise where possible.

PhantomErik Thu 22-Jul-21 09:38:27

Don't be surprised if he needs more than a standard sleep, he may need until 4 - 5pm.

Dh found nights exhausting & verging on depressing.

You may need very good blackout curtains, earplugs & possibly an eye mask.

Shehasadiamondinthesky Thu 22-Jul-21 09:41:38

I worked nights as a nurse for years and it wrecked my body. You never really sleep properly during the day or feel properly rested. Id never do it again.

updownroundandround Thu 22-Jul-21 12:32:20

I agree that working nights totally knackers your body's natural rhythm, and if it adversely affects his health, don't be reticent about talking to your GP etc because I'm guessing that if he's worked for the same company 'for years', then he's maybe not ''as young as he used to be'' ??

Not everyone can work nights and make it work. It can be even harder when you've got a partner etc, because changing from nights to days when you've got your days off, then trying to swap back again is truly exhausting.

Don't underestimate how exhausted he's going to be. It impacts your free time as much as it will affect his.

Oh, and don't plan things like the cinema during the day when he's off. lol, cos he'll definitely be asleep within minutes ! grin

Definitely have blackout blinds and curtains, ear plugs and a good fan (because trying to sleep in the middle of the summer with heat, lawnmowers, kids playing etc is *really hard*)

2ndtimemum2 Thu 22-Jul-21 13:48:35


Don't let him use nights as an excuse for not contributing around the house.

Have you ever even worked nights what a useless statement but I'm.sure it made you feel better to give out about something.

Op I've worked nights for years you now need to realise that the day after a night shift is a write off. He will actually need to stay in bed till the evening. Night shifts disrupt a person's circadian rhythm. His mood may also change and so will his diet hell be eating at irregular hours, also night work is so much harder than days so household chores may have to wait until his days off

Dozycuntlaters Thu 22-Jul-21 14:03:14

Don't let him use nights as an excuse for not contributing around the house Seriously? When is he supposed to sleep then.

OP my partner works night shifts 2 or 3 nights a week, 7pm to 7am. To be brutally honest, when he's on nights he has no life. It's totally fucked his body clock up and so now his sleep pattern is a nightmare. I don't live with him and I never could, I really don't think nightshifts are a positive thing for family life.

Amijustagrump Thu 22-Jul-21 18:40:03

Be a bit more patient but also don't let him get away with not doing anything! And remember the body clock will need to shift back to normal so the first day after a night needs to often be a rest day- don't expect him to be up to anything big!

isitsummertimeyet Thu 22-Jul-21 18:49:30

I did 12 hour nights for a decade and it proper tires you mentally. used to finish at 7am, be in bed trying to sleep by 7.45 am/8am and id be awake by 11ish always, never go back to sleep, then it hits you about 3am and its like full on zombie mode..

Hope he is compensated well for this.

Bookaholic73 Thu 22-Jul-21 19:33:01

Thanks everyone.

I’m not planning anything for the first 3 months, just to see how he settles into it.

I’m slightly worried about how ill sleep without him in the bed, but I guess that’s just something you get used to?

Blackout blind, eye mask and ear plugs already ordered.

I’m not actually expecting him to do anything around the house for a long time, until we are in a proper routine.

OP’s posts: |
Hulmeert Thu 22-Jul-21 19:58:49

Make sure he eats properly.

I work nights and the temptation.to eat lots of sugary snacks to give you an energy boost is immense but ends up make me feel worse in the long run.

After his last shift he'll probably be dead on his feet until he's had his first night of sleep actually during the night.

But he definitely will be able to help around the house in-between shift. I can manage it!

Fabiofatshaft1 Thu 22-Jul-21 20:23:43

I worked nights for 40 years. Finished last year. I loved it.

Some great advice on here, but it either suits you or it doesn’t.

It really pressure tests relationships.
Let him sleep as much as he needs to.
Discourage daytime phone calls and deliveries.
You’ll find he’ll be zombified at times because idiots have disturbed him.

Imagine someone banging loudly on your door at two in the morning. Every morning. You’d soon feel like a wreck.

Have patience if he’s occasionally snappy. It’s not you, he’s just very tired.

Weekends are the worst. You have to get your sleep pattern and metabolism calibrated on the Friday.

I needed 4 - 5 hours sleep.

But if he gets it wrong, he’ll be awake all Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, and fast asleep during the day.

Enjoy the extra shift allowance money 💴

Slippersocks20 Thu 22-Jul-21 20:59:20

I used to work nights. 7 on 7 off. He will feel more knackered from work than working days. Nights always seem longer ... bin collection days will be piss him off
Dont expect much to be done round the house.

My wife has just said she found me working nights horrendous. And it may test your relationship.

Eating habits will go out the window. Its so easy to eat bad snacks!

I know most of this has been said already.

Bookaholic73 Thu 22-Jul-21 21:02:59

Oh this is making me nervous now!

OP’s posts: |
EpicGamerMum Thu 22-Jul-21 22:17:29

I work 12 hour night shifts and this might sound really silly but I couldn’t stand it when my ex used to cook something really strong smelling (like curry) in the middle of the day because it would wake me up and I couldn’t go back to sleep.

Slippersocks20 Thu 22-Jul-21 22:25:30

Dont be nervous about it. You're hearing the worst of it. That's all.

Samedaysameshit Thu 22-Jul-21 22:27:04

I’ve worked night before. 3 x 12 hour night shifts. I was ok but took some time to get used too. I was often fishing at 4 am!
I only did it for 2 years.
Longtime night shift working is supposed to lower your life expectancy by 4 years. Basically you are knackered all the time.

Slippersocks20 Thu 22-Jul-21 22:40:29

I only did it for a year, wife gave me an ultimatum ... I'm still married so guess I chose the wrong option! Haha.

Northernmum100 Thu 22-Jul-21 22:44:13

My DH worked shifts for 20 years including nights.
He sometimes found it easier not to go straight to bed when he came in at 7am but to have a few hours to 'come down after a busy shift. It made sense to me, if you work a day shift e.g. 8-4, you don't walk on the house and go straight to bed do you? You have time to eat, maybe watch some TV.

We had a sign which we taped to the glass on the front door - 'please do not knock or ring doorbell, shift worker sleeping'. We have an angel.of a neighbour who took in any random parcels etc ( we cut her grass etc in exchange for this)

I am the first to admit I enjoyed the space on my own when he was on nights- rubbish TV, sprawled on the sofa with a face mask on smile and starfish when I went to bed. I'm actually feeling quite nostalgic...

He on the other hand doesn't miss them one bit and he looked awful by the time he had done his last night of the set and was a physically exhausted zombie. Sorry, but it really can be grim.

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