A dish best served cold

(72 Posts)
Likeaskyscraper Tue 20-Jul-21 22:32:45

Hi, long time reader, started reading after a miscarriage and then got sucked into AIBU and chat etc.. never posted before though.

After being cheated on for most of last year and him finally admitting it this year, I have been reading relationship threads daily, it's weirdly helped! I'm finally building myself back up, making changes and putting my wheels in motion for 'take down' 😊
So I thought I would ask did you get "revenge" on someone who betrayed you?
I know not everyone gets revenge, thinks about it and even thinks its immature, wrong, waste of time etc... That's fine but please No judgement, if it's not for you that's fine, just read and run!

Im talking anything, no matter how tiny/silly!

OP’s posts: |
Ohpulltheotherone Tue 20-Jul-21 22:42:36

Yeah my ex spent years trying to win me back after he had an affair and left me for 4 months before realising it was all a huge mistake.

I wouldn’t take him back and that made him very resentful so he’d go between crying and emotional messages and speeches and blaming me and being angry and bitter.

I held my word through, I never took him back, never even contemplated it.
10 years on I am happily settled with an amazing partner and beautiful kids. He is childless and although in a relationship, not particularly happy or settled.

So my revenge is the best revenge. Living well and free of any bitterness or baggage.

On the less moral side I did once snap a very very expensive needle on an ex’s set of decks. They were super expensive and hard to replace, you couldn’t really see the damage by eye but I broke it just enough that it wouldn’t play.
He knew I’d done something but I never admitted it and it gave me huge satisfaction that it took months for him to replace. He was not a nice person so it was a drop in the ocean with what he put into the world.

Likeaskyscraper Tue 20-Jul-21 22:52:49

42Ohpulltheotherone

Well done on keeping to it and having a wonderful life without him. The best revenge!
As for the needle, that's what I'm talking about, those little things that make you feel happy or satisfied even if just for a moment 😊

OP’s posts: |
Maze76 Wed 21-Jul-21 01:02:41

My friend got / getting her revenge on her cheating ex while they are still living together. Her ex not only cheated, he moved back into the marital home on the pretence of giving the marriage another go, while spending Saturdays with his OW!
I believe what tipped her over the edge was the discovery of this and his erectile dysfunction tablets..

One Saturday when he was spending his day with the OW,( he never stays the night with her) my ‘friend went through his collectible DVD and Blu Ray box sets and scored each disk with a Stanley knife.

She also tore the second to last and middle pages out of his prized graphic novel sets.

2. And she helps him out by ensuring his bowels are very ‘healthy’ for his liaisons with the other woman… won’t go into details, I’m sure you can figure it out.

She is also out with her friends and having a lot of fun.. which annoys him no end.

MamaJustKilledAMan Wed 21-Jul-21 01:11:14

Not revenge but when I left I took the tv remote control and left the front door wide open. Just so he would have to get up and close it after me, only to return back to his throne (the sofa) and find he couldn't find the tv remote either.

SkinnyEx Wed 21-Jul-21 09:19:59

Not revenge.

I waited until the powder was dry and for him to get his feet firmly under the OW's table then made sure that she knew what a prize she had got herself.

Getting rid of the ugly abusive piece of scum was revenge in itself.

trevthecat Wed 21-Jul-21 09:27:01

There was a thread recently about revenge. My favourite was buying loads of those keyrings you can put a photo in, add a message 'if found please ring (ex's phone number) and then drop them occasionally around town, a slow, but brilliant burner!

Advertisement

Sunshineandflipflops Wed 21-Jul-21 09:39:05

My cheating ex is the father of my kids so keeping things as stable for them as possible was more important to me than an act of revenge, however he had very recently had his 40th birthday party (which I paid towards and spent hours buying and preparing food while he thought it would be a great idea to invite the OW who I later discovered he had been smooching with in a dark corner while me, our kids and families were nearby). Anyway, he was given quite a few bottles of expensive wine and whisky so I invited friends round a few days after I discovered his affair and we drank the wine and I gave the whisky to family.

I think that upset him the most when he came round to get it all.

Other than that, as a pp says, I painted on a smile over my heartbreak and did all the things I wanted to do but never did when we were together - taking the kids to festivals, going to gigs, etc.
I also started on line dating and had a great time while his relationship with the OW died a death and he looked miserable.

OldTinHat Wed 21-Jul-21 09:58:47

I cleaned the toilet with my ex's toothbrush, put weed killer in his aftershave and more vile deeds than I can even remember now. To be fair he had an affair when I was pregnant and when I found out the stress caused a late miscarriage. So that's my excuse!

Likeaskyscraper Wed 21-Jul-21 11:25:38

Maze76

My friend got / getting her revenge on her cheating ex while they are still living together. Her ex not only cheated, he moved back into the marital home on the pretence of giving the marriage another go, while spending Saturdays with his OW!
I believe what tipped her over the edge was the discovery of this and his erectile dysfunction tablets..

One Saturday when he was spending his day with the OW,( he never stays the night with her) my ‘friend went through his collectible DVD and Blu Ray box sets and scored each disk with a Stanley knife.

She also tore the second to last and middle pages out of his prized graphic novel sets.

2. And she helps him out by ensuring his bowels are very ‘healthy’ for his liaisons with the other woman… won’t go into details, I’m sure you can figure it out.

She is also out with her friends and having a lot of fun.. which annoys him no end.

Love the DVD scoring. I can only imagine the treat his OW gets when he pops round and spends the dsh in the bathroom 🤣

OP’s posts: |
Likeaskyscraper Wed 21-Jul-21 11:26:13

MamaJustKilledAMan

Not revenge but when I left I took the tv remote control and left the front door wide open. Just so he would have to get up and close it after me, only to return back to his throne (the sofa) and find he couldn't find the tv remote either.

Brilliant!! 😂

OP’s posts: |
Likeaskyscraper Wed 21-Jul-21 11:36:55

Sunshineandflipflops

My cheating ex is the father of my kids so keeping things as stable for them as possible was more important to me than an act of revenge, however he had very recently had his 40th birthday party (which I paid towards and spent hours buying and preparing food while he thought it would be a great idea to invite the OW who I later discovered he had been smooching with in a dark corner while me, our kids and families were nearby). Anyway, he was given quite a few bottles of expensive wine and whisky so I invited friends round a few days after I discovered his affair and we drank the wine and I gave the whisky to family.

I think that upset him the most when he came round to get it all.

Other than that, as a pp says, I painted on a smile over my heartbreak and did all the things I wanted to do but never did when we were together - taking the kids to festivals, going to gigs, etc.
I also started on line dating and had a great time while his relationship with the OW died a death and he looked miserable.

It's lovely to read how much better people are, after they move on and start living their lives again. Like you say, your revenge is how happy you are and he is miserable.

OP’s posts: |
Likeaskyscraper Wed 21-Jul-21 11:39:29

OldTinHat

I cleaned the toilet with my ex's toothbrush, put weed killer in his aftershave and more vile deeds than I can even remember now. To be fair he had an affair when I was pregnant and when I found out the stress caused a late miscarriage. So that's my excuse!

Oh I'm so sorry that happened to you.
He deserved so much more I'm sure x

OP’s posts: |
Likeaskyscraper Wed 21-Jul-21 11:40:04

Brilliant, I will see if I can find it. Thank you 😊

OP’s posts: |
CheerfulBunny Wed 21-Jul-21 11:44:53

Agree with the life well lived pps. I faced my asshole ex at the weekend at a big friends reunion thing and looked, even if i do say so myself, amazing. It took a bit of planning and a ton of make up but it was so worth it. He looked sick and quite miserable despite hoping to turn up and show off with his new lady friend grin

toolazytothinkofausername Wed 21-Jul-21 11:47:58

I agree the best revenge is moving on and being happy.

Likeaskyscraper Wed 21-Jul-21 11:57:13

CheerfulBunny

Agree with the life well lived pps. I faced my asshole ex at the weekend at a big friends reunion thing and looked, even if i do say so myself, amazing. It took a bit of planning and a ton of make up but it was so worth it. He looked sick and quite miserable despite hoping to turn up and show off with his new lady friend grin

Perfect revenge!! Not only did you look amazing, it sounds like you looked confident and happy too- he would of been gutted not only to not be able to show off but, to see you happy too! Well done 😊

OP’s posts: |
Hanger0n Wed 21-Jul-21 12:01:46

OldTinHat

I cleaned the toilet with my ex's toothbrush, put weed killer in his aftershave and more vile deeds than I can even remember now. To be fair he had an affair when I was pregnant and when I found out the stress caused a late miscarriage. So that's my excuse!

Uhm... Administering a noxious substance??

HunkyPunk Wed 21-Jul-21 12:02:00

I remember as a teenager, our ndn's volatile and dramatic relationship imploded when her partner started seeing other women. She came round to confide in my Mum and said that she had got all his suits out of the wardrobe and daubed them with paint. Mum, although very warm and sympathetic, was also massively interested in detail, and the first thing that popped into her head was to ask what colour paint it was! Think ndn was a bit taken aback!

mineofuselessinformation Wed 21-Jul-21 12:16:59

I left it for three months, but eventually I tipped all of the nuts and bolts from the vintage motorbike in the recycling bin....
He'd forgotten them when he stripped the house of anything valuable, and were of no use to me.

BaublesAndGlitter Wed 21-Jul-21 12:18:19

@MamaJustKilledAMan that is genius and did make me laugh.

Similar to PP my 'revenge' was to turn up to a mutual friends party a few months post break-up looking a million dollars, wearing things he wouldn't have let me wear and doing things he didn't approve of (drinking, dancing and chatting). Also took new bf with me.
He spent the evening staring at me like he hated me then approached as I was leaving to cry on me and ask for another chance 😂 Um, no!

My auntie on the other hand - her exH cheated. He was a very organised man with lots of sets and collections of things so she went into various things in his belongings and took random ones out - think 3 drill bits out of a set of 12, the middle book of a set of 5, she took 1 drumstick from 3 of his 4 pairs etc. She untuned his guitars, knowing he had recently spent a lot of time replacing strings and tuning them up. Little things but enough that he would have been furious when he finally realised.
He also insisted they sold a kayak they had bought together as he wanted his 'half' to buy a new one. She loved it some kept it and gave him his half as promised - but paid him in change (approx £250) 😂

Likeaskyscraper Wed 21-Jul-21 12:26:32

HunkyPunk

I remember as a teenager, our ndn's volatile and dramatic relationship imploded when her partner started seeing other women. She came round to confide in my Mum and said that she had got all his suits out of the wardrobe and daubed them with paint. Mum, although very warm and sympathetic, was also massively interested in detail, and the first thing that popped into her head was to ask what colour paint it was! Think ndn was a bit taken aback!

That's funny. I guess she was wondering if it was bright red on a grey suit or something that just blended in 😂

OP’s posts: |
Likeaskyscraper Wed 21-Jul-21 12:27:46

BaublesAndGlitter

*@MamaJustKilledAMan* that is genius and did make me laugh.

Similar to PP my 'revenge' was to turn up to a mutual friends party a few months post break-up looking a million dollars, wearing things he wouldn't have let me wear and doing things he didn't approve of (drinking, dancing and chatting). Also took new bf with me.
He spent the evening staring at me like he hated me then approached as I was leaving to cry on me and ask for another chance 😂 Um, no!

My auntie on the other hand - her exH cheated. He was a very organised man with lots of sets and collections of things so she went into various things in his belongings and took random ones out - think 3 drill bits out of a set of 12, the middle book of a set of 5, she took 1 drumstick from 3 of his 4 pairs etc. She untuned his guitars, knowing he had recently spent a lot of time replacing strings and tuning them up. Little things but enough that he would have been furious when he finally realised.
He also insisted they sold a kayak they had bought together as he wanted his 'half' to buy a new one. She loved it some kept it and gave him his half as promised - but paid him in change (approx £250) 😂

Good for you showing him what he lost and enjoying your life!

I think your auntie is amazing. Absolutely brilliant!! 🤣🤣

OP’s posts: |
Likeaskyscraper Wed 21-Jul-21 12:28:59

mineofuselessinformation

I left it for three months, but eventually I tipped all of the nuts and bolts from the vintage motorbike in the recycling bin....
He'd forgotten them when he stripped the house of anything valuable, and were of no use to me.

😂 Well done!

OP’s posts: |
30degreesandmeltinghere Wed 21-Jul-21 12:30:49

When I left exh I emptied all his Mateus bottles and filled the bottles with blackcurrant juice...
He had been previously married (divorced well before I knew him) she boxed all his stuff up and returned it.. It was a long time before he realised she had snapped all the heads off his Lladro figurines and glued them on back to front!!
grin

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