I've got rid of a man this week I've been involved with for quite sometime. He's late 40s and seems to have something going on that I am not aware of. I can't diagnose him but I'm suspicious of borderline personality disorder. I've found out in recent weeks alot of what he said is the opposite to what is really happening.
For example he told me his last relationship ended mutually. But I've now found out they split due to him drinking and cheating. Messaging other women.
He told me alongside the mutual split they were just great friends now and communicate on a regular basis due to this. But I think now it's an emotional tie they still have. He's not gotten over his behaviour ruining what they had. She's not over him either it seems. It's been 2.5 years and they still have the door open for eachother. Trauma bonding? I don't understand why they are constantly in touch after all the pain.
He said he had a car in the garage being fixed. Turns out it's his car from his younger days that now is no good for his bad back, due to the sporty seats etc. He can't part with it because his ex bought him it 12 years ago. It has their initials on the number plate. So he has no car.
He told me he would never use dating apps. He said if he can't go out and pull then there's a problem.i found out Monday whilst we were on a break he was screwing a woman from tinder for a few weekends. She slept at his. I was trying to cope with my misery at the time whilst he was having sex.
He has nothing to do with his dad or sisters. He blames them ofcourse.
He told me an ex school friend of his and he had sex after his ex. She then went back and told his ex everything and caused him aload of stress. I've found out since he had a four month fling with this woman and promised her a future. He was drinking heavily still and was desperately trying to get his ex to stay with him. Ive had Alot of details about those four months from this woman and she recalls his ex crying in the background when she called him once. Plus she said his ex told her he was begging for her to stay and buying her flowers everyday and pleading. This woman still allowed him back into her life despite being back with her husband. He was in contact with her whilst we were together.
I've heard several stories about women getting the wrong end of the stick with him and how he had to block them etc.
He has a full time job that pays well but he's terrible with Money. No savings. No property. No usable car. No furniture etc.
He's prescribed opiates for pain. He told me he took some on the last bank holiday then two day later told me he never takes them now and has paracetamol. Blatant lies. Having people around for a cuppa then the next day they were drinking beer and smoking weed in his house.
I found out he has a history of alcohol use. He's sober now but I don't think he's ok. I think he has alot of emotional baggage. He also smoked weed etc.
He is always flipping his moods. Up one minute. Down the next. When he's in a bad mood he will call me names like typical woman. Blame me for being insecure. Say I drive him mad etc. Then he seems hyperactive and silly. He can be funny when he's like this but it's actually a very immature behaviour for his age.
He does say things to put me down. It can be about personality or appearance.
His stories change. He's inconsistent. He has history of suicide attempts. Wreckless driving. No solid friendships. Borrowing money. Terrible sleeping patterns etc.
He met me and hid all of the above so perfectly. He was present. Gifts. Romantic. Funny. Supportive. Interested.seemed to be getting his life in order. Just seemed like a nice guy who had given his ex everything so she was ok and left with nothing.
Then since April more and more stuff has come out. I dumped him Monday when I found out about the sex stuff.
I'm absolutely fine and got out when I realised be was lying. But I just can't understand this behaviour. How can someone be so false??
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He lied about so many things.
12 replies
Pancakemixx · 12/06/2021 11:29
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