Going low Nc with toxic ex - we share a young dd

[ThisIsTheLast89]

Just wanted to get outside opinions whether or not to do this.

Share a 2yr old DD, ex is emotionally abusive called me crazy and accused me of harming our daughter because of my 'lack of mental capacity'. So court order contact for ex and DD, fine, but apart from handover i want all communication to go through my sister or another third party as ex will still now try to pick arguments or belittle me in emails and it really just feels like I'm back in that relationship. Problem is ex has said he is not communicating with any third party with regards to our DD, only myself directly.

So should not let him know he is getting to me and just do the direct emails or go through my sister? Really im just looking for a way to get him to leave me alone.

[BeanWriting]

I'm just thinking sideways here, someone else may have a far better approach.

Could you set up a new email address and give him that or tell everyone else the new one so the main email address you use isn't the one he contacts you on. Then get your sister to read and reply on your behalf.

She can just ignore any crap and give one line replies like "yes, Saturday 3-5pm"

[DeathToCovid]

I agree with the above about the new email address, I’d do that, and then go totally no contact everywhere else. That way you also have a paper trail of sorts if he’s ever threatening etc. You can let your sister deal with the emails if you’d rather not.

Thing is emotionally abusive men/women will use their children to still maintain a level of control and so you have to cut all avenues of contact with them outside of discussing DC, it sounds like that’s what he’s doing here, maintaining the contact between you so he still feels in control and can continue his wave of abuse.

[Dogfan]

Agree with the above. The other option is my family wizard app which I've heard great things about. Good luck.