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Arguing in front of the baby...

6 replies

Anxious12345 · 13/05/2021 09:01

Had an argument with my partner this morning; the usual shit, who’s more tired, who’s more hard done by etc etc (SPOILER ALERT it’s me) and I looked down and my beautiful, innocent angel of a baby was staring at me smiling. And i have never felt more guilty or more like a terrible parent in all my life 😞 Can anyone relate? This is so hard

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lavenderandwisteria · 13/05/2021 09:02

I’m sure it won’t have harmed your baby, it is hard. Are you struggling?

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Anxious12345 · 13/05/2021 09:58

@lavenderandwisteria Thankyou. I am struggling. My little one is 14 weeks and the sleep is tough. She’s constantly overtired as she sleeps so poorly in the day (three ir four brief catnaps

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gemwhitt · 13/05/2021 10:18

OP, I hear you! This is exactly me too. My baby is 10 weeks. What you've said resonates so much, and I'm sure it will with many more mums/parents. I have a toddler as well and we have definitely had some terrible arguments in front of him, followed by lots of guilt afterwards. Definitely at that age it won't have any lasting impact, they'll have forgotten about it almost immediately. Now that my toddler is getting older I just have to make a much bigger effort to avoid rows. Eg keep trying to be kind, calm, and remember it's not a completion. I'm trying to wait until toddler is out of the room and then to say nicely to my hubby, e.g. "i know you are tired too but I was up all night with baby and I just really need you to step up today."
Something that I say to myself every time it gets tough is - this shall pass - and it does.

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Anxious12345 · 13/05/2021 10:58

@gemwhitt it’s so reassuring to hear you’re not alone! How you’re managing with a toddler as well is amazing!! Any tips?

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gemwhitt · 13/05/2021 20:19

It's bloody hard with two. My toddler turns 2 next weekend. Luckily he's a good sleeper now although it didn't start out that way. I co-slept with him too due to terrible reflux and wind. But after 6 months the wind/reflux gets much better and I got the Lucy Wolfe book - the baby sleep solution. It's full of amazing advice to improve their sleep. She also has lots of helpful videos in Instagram.
See if you can maybe book a family swim or something. It helps to do fun stuff as a family.

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LivBa · 13/05/2021 21:02

No.parent is perfect so no need to feel guilty, however try not to argue in front of her. Children pick up negative emotions.

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