Conflicted.

[trezher]

Hi everyone
I had a miscarriage almost two years ago and I was devastated. Ever since then I've just been busy with nursing school and keeping my life together. I try to tell myself I don't need to have a kid right now. I'm 24 years old, and I have so much more life to live. But I also find myself seeing my friends with there children and in there relationships and I just feel jealous. I know I'll be the most loving parent, I want to be able to love on my child and for them to call me "mommy" I don't even think I would be tired of it. I feel like I don't have someone of my own. No boyfriend no kid. Just me and my family and even they all have relationships. I hate even thinking about this because I'm still building on myself and I want to be the best version of myself for my future family but who's to say that they won't be the reason had I had one of my own? I am involved with this man who wants to be in a relationship but there is so much more I believe we need to work on before we can commit to each other. I don't like feeling like this. So confused. Not knowing how to feel or being able to even understand how I feel. It's just weighing on me.

[Justa47]

@trezher

Sorry you feel sad and unhappy.
That experience must have been horrid.
But 24 is still very young.

As the country is opening up why not try a new hobby to meet new people?

[peanutttttt]

@Justa47 yeah that's why I'm not trying to be so stressed about it, but I can't avoid the way I feel either because I just get angry or sad. I'm usually a happy person and this is the only thing that makes me sad but I honestly believe it's because I love love. I love loving the people that I do love and I couldn't imagine not being able to. I've recently joined many hobbies since we are allowed outside more lol. But to no avail people are inconsistent and I don't want to be pushy.