Ex jailed for DV yesterday

(56 Posts)
ode2me Thu 06-May-21 20:13:05

I had a short relationship last year that quickly became very abusive in every way. I had suffered serious child abuse and hadn't yet learnt the warning signs.

The last incident was the worst. Toddler in the next room crying and my head being stomped on repeatedly.

7 months later yesterday he was found guilty of ABH with a weapon and assault by battery.
He was sentenced to 15 months in prison and i was granted a 10 year restraining order.

I just wanted to tell you that there is life after DV. I wish you all the very best.

OP’s posts: |
UseOfWeapons Mon 31-May-21 13:24:08

OP, living IS possible, it takes a while, plenty of kind support, and nurturing yourself. You have been very brave and strong, and my heart goes out to you.
I fled my exH2 and did not take action against him. I was living in his home country, and it was difficult enough getting out and back to the UK.
My reactions and emotions were erratic for a long time, and I had an IDVA who was amazing in the first 2years. I also had various therapies, and did the Freedom Programme. It all helped. I still have issues, but I grit my teeth and carry on. Most of the time, I am content, because I have survived.
You have done everything you can for your little girl, and she will grow into a stronger, happier woman with you as her mother. Please remember to look after yourself, and take the time and help you feel you can cope with. We are all different, and react and readjust in different ways. You will find your way, with your daughter beside you.

Wishing health, happiness and strength, dear OP. 💐💐

Orgasmagorical Mon 31-May-21 12:45:05

ode2me, your words have sent shivers up my spine and brought tears to my eyes. I wonder what the outcome would have been if your phone hadn't stayed on and provided the evidence. For this one 'man' to have what amounts to a slap on the wrist for what he has done, there are thousands who have got away with it all.

Much respect to you for all you have done and for posting. Thank you flowers

ode2me Mon 31-May-21 12:31:36

Queenie6655

Amazing work

This thread and your bravery have reaffirmed that I am doing the right thing
At one point I wanted to back out
Was worried about how he would cope with the police in his case

Well done

You can get through it all

The body holds on to trauma in many ways
If you can maybe took for support? Psychotherapy ?

Lots of good wishes to you both xxx


How are you Queenie?

OP’s posts: |
TheWeeDonkey Fri 07-May-21 21:18:28

@ode2me flowers

Queenie6655 Fri 07-May-21 20:52:54

Amazing work

This thread and your bravery have reaffirmed that I am doing the right thing
At one point I wanted to back out
Was worried about how he would cope with the police in his case

Well done

You can get through it all

The body holds on to trauma in many ways
If you can maybe took for support? Psychotherapy ?

Lots of good wishes to you both xxx

BrilliantBetty Fri 07-May-21 20:40:19

* I hope he isn't hurt though. I don't wish it on anyone.*

May he have it hard in there. He can ROT for what he's done.

He's vermin and for what he did to you, deserves not one once of your sympathy OP. Every minute he spends in there he brought upon himself!! And it's a shame it's not double.

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Twickerhun Fri 07-May-21 20:38:14

Oh OP I’m so sorry you and your DD went through this but I wish you every joy and happiness now for your future after you’ve done the brave thing and testified against him. Be kind to yourself; it’s a horrendous thing going to court

ode2me Fri 07-May-21 20:32:34

I feel so guilty. Horrible for my child.

It's such a strange mix of emotions. I don't feel relief. I sometimes feel lucky that he was given jail time (they said it was on the cusp of prison time but more likely a suspended sentence. confused

Other times I worry terribly it won't punish him. He is lazy. Arrogant though. About 5'7 at a push snd 8 stone. Justin Bieber floppy hair. I think he'll he given a softer time by staff. I hope he isn't hurt though. I don't wish it on anyone.

Sometimes I think it won't make a difference.

He stared at me as he was taken down to the cells under the court. The same cold disgusted stare he'd me after he'd attack me and mock my reactions to it.

Life after DV is possible. I hope living will be too.

This thread is making me tearful. All of Your kindness is so appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
Queenie6655 Fri 07-May-21 20:29:46

Namechangedforthistoday

*@Queenie6655* scarily it’s not always just the male judges


Sorry yes of course very true

HollowTalk Fri 07-May-21 17:19:38

A man who can stamp on someone's head is not exactly what I'd call vulnerable.

Namechangedforthistoday Fri 07-May-21 16:57:34

@Queenie6655 scarily it’s not always just the male judges

CombatBarbie Fri 07-May-21 14:40:42

How horrific, I am so glad the call stayed active, it sounds utterly terrifying!!

newnortherner111 Fri 07-May-21 14:14:11

I wish it had been longer, but glad the courts were prepared to send him to prison.

Ytrigging Fri 07-May-21 13:54:51

Congratulations for leaving. It’s great to hear about a woman successfully improving her life. All the best to you and your dc.

runwithme Fri 07-May-21 13:41:56

That has made me go cold. You do know you've protected your daughter and have taught her a great lesson? You're amazing

Queenie6655 Fri 07-May-21 13:19:57

BrilliantBetty

15 months!?? WTAF

For stamping on your head and climbing through windows to carry on attacking you, baby in ear shot. I am sickened. That is not justice. 15 short months..

I was mugged on the street. Threatened with a weapon but unharmed. 2 males both received 24months. Which is a reasonable sentence for the crime. That monster tried to kill you and he'll be out in a minute!!


Absolutely!!

Wtf is wrong with this system and some of these male judges

This seems to be so common

wewereliars Fri 07-May-21 13:00:20

So glad he's out of your life OP, the whole system can be so hard to navigate. Well done and here's to a great future free of fear and violence for you and your daughter flowers

Sprig1 Fri 07-May-21 12:40:25

That's amazing. You were very brave to report and go through with it. Be very proud that your actions almost certainly have saved other women from harm.

Igmum Fri 07-May-21 12:35:04

That's terrible OP but well done for speaking up for yourself and for your daughter. Hugs thanks

likeamother Fri 07-May-21 12:30:59

This made me well up. Op, well done for removing yourself from this, for working through this, for posting this.

I hope you're getting lots of support and I wish you much better times in the future flowers

Happycat1212 Fri 07-May-21 12:26:12

I guess that’s why it was low if he had no previous convictions but the annoying thing is that doesn’t mean he hadn’t done anything else before, so much goes unreported!

BrilliantBetty Fri 07-May-21 12:21:06

15 months!?? WTAF

For stamping on your head and climbing through windows to carry on attacking you, baby in ear shot. I am sickened. That is not justice. 15 short months..

I was mugged on the street. Threatened with a weapon but unharmed. 2 males both received 24months. Which is a reasonable sentence for the crime. That monster tried to kill you and he'll be out in a minute!!

Queenie6655 Fri 07-May-21 12:14:51

Oh sweet lord

My bast--- also tried to kill his ex wife

I'm hoping that can be used in court

May he rot in jail
He has this to carry with him for the rest of his life

Looking at the news today I'm so so sad to see about so many women being murdered at the hands of their partners or ex partners

It's getting worse

Their punishment should be longer prison terms

ode2me Fri 07-May-21 11:48:29

Queenie6655

OP did he have previous convictions?


Hi queens.

He didn't have any previous. In fact his new girlfriend gave him a glowing character reference.confused

OP’s posts: |
Queenie6655 Fri 07-May-21 11:24:29

OP did he have previous convictions?

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