DH taking pics without asking

[sierrahotelindigotango]

Long term lurker, first ever post. Been happily married for nearly ten years, together over 15 years. I've noticed recently that DH will sneakily take photos and or videos while we're having sex without asking or telling me. Is this normal / okay? No other issues in our relationship really. He's very respectful and loving generally. We have four kids and full on jobs running our own business so sex isn't as often as we'd both like... I don't know if I'm just being a prude or not.

[Anotheruser02]

That's not okay.

[WindowsSmindows]

It's illegal, that's your starting point.

[Aprilshowersandhail]

I would be very concerned with his intentions...

[burritofan]

I would leave someone who did this to me. I’d consider it a gross violation and be deeply, deeply upset. It’s really not normal or OK, and you don’t have to feel OK or prudish about it.

[SylvanianFrenemies]

I wouldn't be happy. It seems weird and invasive to me.

If he has any inkling that you are not 100% happy then it is incredibly problematic. Does he?

[Wafflewombat]

Is he uploading them?

[mybonnieliesovertheocean2]

Sorry that is not normal. There was a thread on here a few weeks ago about a wife finding out her DH had been taking photos without her knowledge and putting them on the internet. Have you asked him why he is taking the videos and photos and what he is doing with them?

[Scarby9]

I assume you ask what he thinks he is doing?
Does he stop when you say?

[Alfxn]

This is hugely alarming OP. Do you know the main reason men do this is to post the images and videos online??! It's a real thing!

[viixie]

Define "sneaky" photos when you're having sex?!! Is he poking the camera out from behind his back?! Isn't it quite obvious that you know he's taking the photograph ?! 🥴

[Palavah]

Not normal. Not legal. Not ok.

[TokyoSushi]

Absolutely not OK. What's he doing with them?

[sierrahotelindigotango]

I haven't brought it up yet. I didn't know it was illegal and i have no idea if he's doing anything with them or how I'd find out.

[Happycat1212]

How can he sneakily take pics?obviously you would notice? What has he said about it?

[bestbeforedateexpired]

First time I’ve ever pulled a WTF face reading a post. No, that’s not usual behaviour. I hope you’re ok.

[sierrahotelindigotango]

My back is to him when he does it so I think he thinks I don't know it's happening

[sierrahotelindigotango]

I feel a bit sick reading all these replies but thank you

[DinosaurDiana]

He could be forwarding those pictures to anybody.
And what if the kids found them ?
No, it’s not ok.

[Happycat1212]

You haven’t said anything to him about it? so when he was taking the pics you didn’t say anything?

[Mydarlingmyhamburger]

This is a serious sexual offence. If he genuinely thinks you don’t know, your oh is a sex offender. I wonder what he’s doing with the photos? There was a thread a few weeks ago from a lady who found out her husband had taken photos of her naked and asleep and uploaded them onto porn sites.

[Rewis]

It's not ok unless you have given a concent. It sounds like you at a bit ok with it, therefore it is not ok.

[sierrahotelindigotango]

No I didn't - I know that sounds odd but I didn't want to talk about it with him without knowing if I was over reacting or not.

[EarringsandLipstick]

@burritofan

I would leave someone who did this to me. I’d consider it a gross violation and be deeply, deeply upset. It’s really not normal or OK, and you don’t have to feel OK or prudish about it.

This x 💯

This is just appalling.

[Gogetsalife]

Major red flag........Illegal and disrespectful. Sorry but I’d assume he’s sharing images. I’d have to get an IT expert to sweep through all his devices/history. If he refused. Then that would be a no from me

[Welshgal85]

Oh my god this is awful, it is illegal as he is doing this without your consent. He is exploiting you!