We haven't got along for a while anyway as I had years of his abusive behaviour, and checked out emotionally. We have older teens, one left home and I moved into their old room last year.
I don't want to divorce because I worked hard for this home and it is my kids home. However last year I found some suspicious texts on his phone. One "you have the potential to join my life and i love that. Is that for you, if not say so x" and a reply from this woman (J) "in answer to your question, i said that if you had given us a chance of a proper relationship things might have worked out".
At first I thought it quite funny as he likes to string women along. I confronted him though and he said it was more a game than a relationship. He's a liar though and frankly nothing that comes out of his mouth, I believe. Anyway he said he would stop contact and block her. He got a new phone, but like the idiot he is put in his DOB as passcode. So I check it today and there she is under a man's name. No intimate talk but he appears to have been visiting her on the east coast. She sent him the postcode, so I googled it, so I know more or less where she lives.
I don't know whether to be angry or amused. I think I am sad because some other woman is getting the 'nice' side of him, whereas I suffered years of rage and abuse at his hands. He can't cope with stress and his previous job was full of it.
Do I just ignore and keep checking the phone? Confront him again? Have an affair myself?
Leaving isn't an option at the moment, but I am getting the little quackers lined up so to speak.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Think husband is having an affair
thinkIamdone · 02/05/2021 15:04
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