Instagram crush (be kind)

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

Please be kind, I know this is silly!

I crossed paths with someone on Happn (dating app) but he didn't like me back, so we never chatted. Oh well. I hoped we'd cross paths again but we didn't. I deleted the app after a bit anyway.

I liked and commented on one of his photos on Instagram a little while back and he responded and followed me. He's quite active there. I've developed a shocking crush on him. I DO NOT know him, I've never met him. We don't really interact on Instagram (I comment occasionally but everything is brief) and it's clear that he's not really interested in chatting to me or anything like that.

How do I get over this crush and stop myself bloody obsessively checking Instagram?!? It's not based on reality, I don't know him, and he's obviously not interested in me (he's definitely single BTW). So I need to deal with this awful obsession. I don't want to delete Instagram because I use it to keep in touch with lots of lovely friends. Please help me to control my mind

[AramintaLee]

Block him? It will be a hurdle that will hopefully make you stop and think before you stalk his profile (as you'd have to go out of your way to unblock him to view his profile)

[Shoxfordian]

Unfollow him

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

I don't want to drip feed but it turns out we're vaguely in the same social circles; we've got a fair few mutual acquaintances, that type of thing. We live close to each other too. Today I sold something on Gumtree and the buyer turned out to be a friend of his! It could be embarrassing if he knows I've blocked him or if he realises it later on.

I feel embarrassed enough as it is because I've got that crush thing of thinking everyone knows about it (as if my occasional Insta comments gave anything away).

He probably has higher social status than me due to his job, so I feel particularly concerned not to be seen to be stalking him or anything like that! All the more because I don't know him at all.

[WeCameToDance]

I have the same problem! Well sort off!
Been chatting to a guy since just before the first lockdown, although on whatsapp not Instagram. I have a shockingly bad crush on him. I look at his Instagram far too often to be healthy and it doesn’t help that he has loads of followers so I feel inferior! It’s beyond annoying and I really wish I could stop it now.

Sorry no advice but if you find the answer please share it!

[Puddington]

It could be embarrassing if he knows I've blocked him or if he realises it later on.

If I found out someone I didn't really know (obviously would be different if it was a close friend or someone I spoke to frequently) had blocked me I wouldn't think twice about it tbh, maybe not what you want to hear in the throes of a crush OP but I don't think he would notice or be particularly offended

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

Haha @Puddington tragically you are correct!

What I mean by 'embarrassing' is that if (and yes it's a big if) he noticed, he might realise why. But yes I'm sure he wouldn't notice. I'm laughing here

@WeCameToDance at least you're chatting to someone! This one just looks at my stories!

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

Posted too soon, but misery loves company and I'm glad I'm not the only one!

It's been a long lonely lockdown and I've been so isolated from my friends. I don't have any male friends any more and I really miss that. So I guess I've made one up in my head.

[Sunshine1235]

You can mute someone on Instagram so they won’t be able to tell which might help. But to be honest if you’re not willing to delete then you’ve got to win the battle with yourself first 💪😂

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

@Bang4Bond

What makes you think nothing can come of it? He may not be interested at first but maybe he will come to be later on. He is interested if he is viewing your stories.

He might just be bored

He follows like 900 people or something.

Anyway (while I appreciate your kindness which is exactly what I asked for) I think I need to get a grip of my brain which is turning me into a complete idiot here.

You might not think so but 'talking' about it here has helped. Just putting down it down in words makes me realise what's really going on and where this has come from. With lockdown easing I'll hopefully be able to get out more, see my friends and make some new ones too. It's been a really odd year.

[Imjustsootired]

I think many of us have experienced this OP!

Infatuation.... eeek.... teenage stuff, but it happens and its exhausting!!!

Sure he is not interested?

If you're sure, then try to maybe wean yourself off his insta...!! Tricky but doable. He wont know.

[WeCameToDance]

How about... if you ask yours for a drink, I’ll ask mine?
Seems a fair trade off!

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

@WeCameToDance

How about... if you ask yours for a drink, I’ll ask mine?
Seems a fair trade off!

I couldn't possibly ! I don't even know mine!

You should ask yours though

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

@Imjustsootired

I think many of us have experienced this OP!

Infatuation.... eeek.... teenage stuff, but it happens and its exhausting!!!

Sure he is not interested?

If you're sure, then try to maybe wean yourself off his insta...!! Tricky but doable. He wont know.

It's so reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one. Really.

I'll see if I can cope for another few days or a week or so. Although the endorphin rollercoaster is exhausting. It can't last forever. I mean I don't know the guy!

[thecatsarecrazy]

Unfollow would be best. I had a crush on a bloke on TikTok. I followed his Instagram too. He liked a couple of my comments on TikTok and I was like a silly goggly school girl. After a few more TikToks and some of his comments I went right off him tho 🤣

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

I read that crushes usually last about four months. I think I’m going to have died of stress by then!

And later on I’ll see a photo of him or something and feel a bit ill, like ‘wtf was I thinking?’. I wish I could just speed up the process.

[CatAndHisKit]

OP why do you say 'I couldn't possibly' ask him out - of course you can. Maybe him saying 'no' will cure it! The fact he's followed you on insta and reads your stories means he is mildly curous or at least doesn't dislike you. And if you know he's single - what have you got to lose? you can ask casually without sounding 'romantic'.

If you genuinely want to either get rid of the crush or to hae a chance with him, then asking him out will solve both!

[CatAndHisKit]

4 months? haha, try a year or two plus! happened to me and many others (threads on MN even)

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

@CatAndHisKit

4 months? haha, try a year or two plus! happened to me and many others (threads on MN even)

oh God don't say that!

I'll have a think about your other comment.

[happytohavefoundyou]

@iknowiknowallaboutit do not ask him out.
He knows you are there & he has seen you comment & didn't dm you.

He's not interested. I am sorry that sounds harsh but as someone who has men constantly adding me from dating apps, and commenting on my pictures, which I halfheartedly reply back too, I know who they are.

I check them out & move on.

If he was a complete stranger you could but as you may know him it would be better to see him some time at the pub.

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

No don’t worry @happytohavefoundyou, I won’t be asking him out. I agree, if he was in the least but interested he would have shown it. Not harsh at all.
Thankfully I’ve been feeling more normal tonight and hopefully in recovery from my temporary madness. Fingers crossed.

[iknowiknowallaboutit]

I think I am going to have to block him after all that because I’m on a hiding to nothing trying to make any sense of someone else’s online behaviour and it all feels rather embarrassing.

I don’t know why on earth he decided to add me (it wasn’t me who did it) and watches all my stories but doesn’t respond to or like comments any more. I don’t comment often I hasten to add!

I have lots of online-only friends, mostly women, and while we’re not constantly chatting it up we do respond to each other’s comments with at least a like or a friendly word. It just feels too weird to be interacting with someone on this strange one-sided basis.

Bottom line, online interactions are meant to be fun and I just really can’t handle this stress in my life. Sad but true.

[CatAndHisKit]

Ha, can't believe it, OP, but this was EXACTLY my situation re contact on SM. An actual mindfuck when someone follows you and used to like your comments on their posts / respond occasionally , but had stopped doing while not unfollowing - in the end I thought it as just rude.
I've stopped commenting but do occasionally just like his posts - but quite sporadically now. I don't think I'll ever block - but kind of specific reasons why I'd always be interested in what he's doing, we share an interest. You only had this crush for a short time so if you still can cut gim off completely - be quick to do it - in my defense I did neet him a few times, so it was harder.