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Relationships

Worried about moving in with my girlfriend and her kid.

169 replies

Worried198X · 19/04/2021 20:52

Hi all,

I worried about moving in with my girlfriend and her kids

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Worried198X · 19/04/2021 20:53

I worried about moving in with my girlfriend and her kids. I work full time and my girlfriend works a few hours a week and has also been sporadically ill recently. I'm due to move in, in a few weeks but am worried about it..

Basically her kids (mid teen and early teen) do as they want in the house. They do very few chores, any time they eat between meals they leave rubbish, dirty dishes and cutlery on the counter, food out of the fridge, the lights on, presses open and the kitchen in a mess generally. They spend all day on their devices inc being on them after midnight on school nights with the eldest playing computer games in his room roaring and shouting. He also rarely flushes the toilet after he uses it and never washes his hands. Most times the younger child is asked to do a chore by her mother she walks off and says not doing it and goes back to her room on her devices.

I am up early every morning for work and need to get a good nights sleep and its difficult with kids roaming around after I go to bed and going down to the kitchen any time they want and leaving it in a mess. I only spend a few nights a week there but am constantly cleaning up after her kids and washing dishes and its fine now but if I was doing it full time it would drive me nuts as they are old enough to do it themselves. There's numerous other things but I'm not going to list them all off here.

Over time I've tried to bring this up calmly with my girlfriend in the it'd make me moving in smoother kind of way. I've mentioned I was doing an awful lot of dishes when it looked like none of the kids were doing any (I did 14 full sets of dishes over 9 days) and that I thought it was a bit unfair. I also mentioned that maybe her children could leave the kitchen in a reasonable state when they use it outside meals or if they don't do their chores maybe to turn off the Wifi until they do. Every time I suggest they help out a bit more (when I'm there and especially when I'm not there as she is sporadically ill) she gets highly offended and starts calling me all the names under the sun for insulting her children.

I know in my heart of hearts when I move in their behavior will drive me mad in a few weeks and I will leave. I don't want this to happen as I love my girlfriend but she makes no effort to change anything or just takes it as me insulting her children and gets highly offended if I suggest they help out.

What can I do about this or am I being completely unreasonable in my outlook.

Thanks,

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