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Kept up by the cats but I slept through woke up to horrid text

(208 Posts)
Thelovecats69 Sun 07-Mar-21 09:29:16

My husband was up late last night gaming.
When he does this he Skypes his friends and has noise cancelling headphones so ends up loudly chatting/shrieking through them.

Me and DD were having a sleep over in the lounge, or at least trying - my house is small, one level and open plan. Aka you can hear everything.

At 11.30 he pokes his head in and asks me why Iv gone to bed without telling him. I say he was clearly busy and I was tired. Plus we aren’t sleeping in the same bed tonight anyway so why does it matter.

He texts me ‘did you go to bed because you wanted to get out of sex?’

This is half joking half not. He wants sex every night. I don’t. It’s a sticking point at the moment.

He has had a beer and carries on gaming. I eventually fall asleep with my dd. (Shes 4)

DD and I get up in the night to use the loo, I think twice.

I hear dh get up once and shut the cats out , I assume they are being noisy although didn’t hear anything. I do have form for not hearing much whilst I’m sleeping, although that’s because I work full time so when I sleep I SLEEP! My husband stays at home. And apparently hasn’t had a full nights sleep since 2014. 😒

I woke up this morning to the following texts at 6am.

‘If you wake me, I am going to be mad’
‘You have not got up once’
‘Except for a piss.
The WHOLE night’

‘You let the cats in
You are single’

I haven’t woken him up this morning and have shushed dd when she’s started being loud. I came on here as I have no idea what to say or do about this.
When I went to get a drink I opened the kitchen door and the cats ran in, but I chucked them back out into the garden for now.

OP’s posts: |
CaledonianMacBrayne Sun 07-Mar-21 09:31:24

You leave him.

wewereliars Sun 07-Mar-21 09:34:17

Poor you, and your daughter. You are effectively living with a selfish teenager. Get rid

Cockenspiel Sun 07-Mar-21 09:34:41

So sorry OP. But he sounds like a rapey, rude and arrogant cunt.

Why are you in a relationship with this man?

Please consider leaving

HaNNaHC92 Sun 07-Mar-21 09:35:03

Wow. If my partner demanded sex every night and left messages like that on my phone, he'd be straight out the door. He is not showing you one bit of respect, or your daughter as a matter of fact.

Theunamedcat Sun 07-Mar-21 09:36:51

Leave and take the cats

Sakurami Sun 07-Mar-21 09:37:33

How dare he???

Make all the noise and then tell him he is single to continue living the life of a teenager. And to get out of sex? If that doesn't put everyone off sex, I don't know what would.

So you work full time whilst he games his life away, spends half the night playing and expects sex on demand?

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy Sun 07-Mar-21 09:37:37

I don’t think he has the basic respect skills to be a flatmate, let alone a partner

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 07-Mar-21 09:38:21

He’s really horrible. Are you in a position to leave him?

ExpertlyProcrastinating Sun 07-Mar-21 09:38:24

What on earth is he going on about? Why is it an issue that you haven't got up in the night?

His messages make him sound like a drunken twat.

'You are single'? Great.. he can fuck off and leave you in peace from a loutish sex pest.

milinhas Sun 07-Mar-21 09:38:31

I’m confused about why he was so annoyed to have to shut out the cats once as it doesn’t seem particularly hard. Also confused about how he was planning to have sex when you’re in different rooms and your DD is in with you. He doesn’t sound very kind or reasonable OP.

ThisTooShallBeFantastic Sun 07-Mar-21 09:38:32

His messages sound unhinged.

Somethingkindaoooo Sun 07-Mar-21 09:39:03

Poor cats.

How come they are not allowed in? Where the food and fresh water is?

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit Sun 07-Mar-21 09:39:18

He sounds disgusting. The sound of him makes my skin crawl.
Do you love him? Can you safely leave? What would you advise your little DD if she was in a relationship like this? Treat yourself with kindness, you don’t deserve to be treated like a sex doll that only exists to service a selfish, oafish man-child. You deserve more.

Somethingkindaoooo Sun 07-Mar-21 09:39:32

And your husband sounds like a jerk

NotSeenBulling Sun 07-Mar-21 09:39:48

Seriously. I would go to a solicitor and start divorce proceedings. Find out when he is scheduled to get the absolute and text back, 'You will also be single on or about the * of ***. I'm divorcing you.

No way would I put out or put up with this level of shite in my life.

PatchworkElmer Sun 07-Mar-21 09:40:11

He sounds awful. Does he have any redeeming qualities at all? 😤😤

SoupDragon Sun 07-Mar-21 09:40:41



TheWaif Sun 07-Mar-21 09:40:49

Yeah I don't understand the not getting up bit either.

SoupDragon Sun 07-Mar-21 09:41:25

I mean, he sounds like selfish dick, obviously

VettiyaIruken Sun 07-Mar-21 09:42:08

Agree with him on the single thing! He sounds revolting.
Get out of sex is alarming. Think about how he views you for that to be his attitude.

You don't deserve this life. You are worth more than this.

Also, you have a daughter. Imagine her growing up and having a similar relationship because she grew up thinking this is normal!

Leaving isn't easy. People don't advise 'ltb' because it's a case of packing a bag and walking into a new life, but it is an option.

nimbuscloud Sun 07-Mar-21 09:42:20

What’s the point of him?

Pillowcase123 Sun 07-Mar-21 09:42:28

OP, this cant be what you wanted when you imagined your life right?

I'm a little confused by the messages but the sex comments are just plain weird. I hope you get things sorted for you and your DD.

justanotherneighinparadise Sun 07-Mar-21 09:42:39

Fucking hell. What life is this?!

CagneyNYPD Sun 07-Mar-21 09:42:52

So he's pissed off that he didn't get his nightly shag. I would bet good money that this isn't the first time that he has pulled this kind of shit.

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