Page 6 | I've just found his secret email account

(135 Posts)
Chopbob Mon 01-Mar-21 23:27:37

This morning I was a very happily married mum of 2 small DC. Now I feel like my life has been ruined but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not.

I logged on my ds laptop this morning for home school and realised it was in incognito mode. Then I realised the internet had been left open. It was porn site where my "dh" has apparently been messaging other women for 8 years. He has sent loads of explicit pictures and has also received lots too. Some women he has been speaking to for months.

I have confronted him this evening- he denies he has ever met anyone irl but he did agree to give me the login details so I can see for myself.

Upon further delving, I found a secret email address which I have guessed the password for. He has been emailing prostitutes for prices are what services they provide. I'm absolutely broken. This has been going on since 2008.

He obviously denies ever meeting them, he was just curious. I know this is a lie.

I'm just hurting so much. He was my best friend. We have been together since childhood. I feel like our whole life is a lie.

I'm not sure where to go from here. I have 2 small dc and I'm left with the option of separation and being alone and a single mum, or continuing to live with a liar.

The worst part is I actually really miss him. I realise how pathetic this is.

OP’s posts: |
GrandTheftWalrus Wed 03-Mar-21 12:34:45

Yeah all our friends took his side. I didn't really care. I'm just glad I didn't have kids with him. We had been trying for 6 years before I found out.

Now with a lovely dh and a 4yo dd and another on the way

SugarfreeBlitz Wed 03-Mar-21 13:06:38

@GrandTheftWalrus I'm sorry that happened to you as well. My ex played the victim to everyone so there are still people who won't speak to me because they believe the lies he told. Still, I am so much happier now because he's not in my life. He took my best years, but at least he can't cheat me or hurt me anymore.

I'm so glad you've got a lovely dh and 4yo and another baby on the way! I moved on and have a life I love now.

Beamur Wed 03-Mar-21 13:13:20

A friend of mine, happily married, four kids, had a similar thing happen. Husband had been leading a double life for years, other women, possibly prostitutes. She was utterly blindsided. But she left him and started again. Met someone new, remarried and has a happy life again after a really horrible few months. Such a tough thing to happen to anyone.
Hugs flowers

NorbertMeubles Wed 03-Mar-21 13:25:08

Leave. Put you first.

moanieleminx Wed 03-Mar-21 20:41:55

Happened to a friend. She found out just before the wedding, married him anyway.

It lasted 6 years. Turns out he did it the whole way through their relationship.

Please take care of yourself. You deserve much much more. And this is all on him, before he starts with 'the script!

SugarfreeBlitz Thu 04-Mar-21 09:26:27

@moanieleminx thats so sad for your friend. I knew my ex had a history of it but I thought I'd be "enough" and believed everything he told me. I was wrong. We went without adequate food and necessities, got into debt- and all because of his "habit".

I found it really hard to leave him as he was my first bf- but one STD test too many I suppose. I didn't want sex with him when I found out so he was raping me.

moanieleminx Thu 04-Mar-21 15:10:46

SugarfreeBlitz

*@moanieleminx* thats so sad for your friend. I knew my ex had a history of it but I thought I'd be "enough" and believed everything he told me. I was wrong. We went without adequate food and necessities, got into debt- and all because of his "habit".

I found it really hard to leave him as he was my first bf- but one STD test too many I suppose. I didn't want sex with him when I found out so he was raping me.


Oh my goodness that is horrendous! I am so sorry you went through that!!!

User75908 Fri 05-Mar-21 17:44:38

How are you OP?

Itstimetoquit Fri 05-Mar-21 18:45:17

How are you op x

SugarfreeBlitz Sat 06-Mar-21 09:31:29

@moanieleminx thanks, it has taken me years to speak out. I have decided not to let shame make me keep quiet now because it's his shame, not mine. I hope in future to use my experiences and empathy to help other abused women, but I dont know how yet.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in