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think dh spending on something dodgy or illegal, how to trace bank transfer

(50 Posts)
mrsdoubtful Tue 23-Feb-21 15:51:24

Hello, I am new, joined this forum for advice, sorry if not in the right section. Also sorry it's long!
(this post might look familiar, I’m posting in a few forums around the internet to try and get advice).

I’ve discovered by chance husband has re-activated old abandoned bank account.
(we switched to an offset mortgage account about 20 years ago because of his overspending on general stuff like clothes etc. for himself, we never bothered to close the old account). It is a joint account in both our names, but he obviously assumes I won’t look at it these days.

He definitely has a Revolut account. Told me this voluntarily a couple of years ago, and said it was because you can use it on holidays abroad without bothering about exchange rate etc. That in itself is fine, I thought nothing of it at first.

There are regular cash (transfer) payments to Revolut from our main joint bank account: I have asked about this and he has said it’s for work accommodation/food.(he gets an allowance in his wages for this) The payments are regularly c£200 during working weeks, but many of these have been during furlough.

He then moves that money from Revolut into the previously abandoned bank account.

He then makes payments from this old bank account to an unknown account as a bank transfer: This is the thing I need help with, I need to find out where it is going/who’s account it is? Sometimes he has paid into the old bank account from Revolut, sometimes cash. (Seems to be in a rush/panic because sometimes has taken money out before deposit cleared) the amounts vary, they’ve been, for example, 10 p (which I guess is a tester amount to make sure it worked?) then things like £5, £105, £300, £200, £120, £50, £20 – it varies like that. All these were during furlough so definitely nothing to do with work expenses. Also, it is definitely him doing this rather than an online fraudster because some of the amounts have been paid into a branch counter in person. Also because he has deliberately ordered a new card etc which has come to our home.
I’ve googled the transfer number and got nowhere: however, I think the first 6 numbers are a sort code and the number matches ‘Revolut England and Wales’. So he has funnelled money from our main account, to an old abandoned account, to his Revolut, to another Revolut? (unless he’s gone mad and is moving it around and back to himself again which would be pointless, but you never know!) I’ve discovered that with Revolut you can have one-off disposable ‘virtual’ cards on your account.

So, assuming from all this secret shuffling that it’s something he never wants me to find out (or he’d just use our normal account) : He has history of drugs (recreational, not recently, years ago before we were together as far as I know) and porn (ongoing): could he be paying someone for something like this? Surely you would just pay cash in person? unless online stuff like webcam etc., or even he could have graduated to paying for sex in person? I’d be really grateful for any tips or advice how to find out more about this: I’m pretty good at google, but I’ve run out of questions to ask it! (I’ve not mentioned gambling as a possibility because I’ve never known him show any interest in that, although at this point, it could be anything).

Also, ApplePay: looking through our joint credit card statements, I’ve also noticed many Apple Pay payments. How can I find out more about them? If the ApplePay payments are also going to his Revolut account, then it takes the spending into a whole new realm: talking hundreds/thousands. How can I find out?

Also there are loads of payments to Etsy: I’ve never used Etsy and I am certain he hasn’t, he wouldn’t be buying homemade teacosy or whatever, does Etsy sell porn or drugs on the sly?

How can I trace the bank transfer from our old bank account to whoever it is? (I would be legally entitled as the old account is in both our names!) If I go into a branch will they tell me? As I’m joint account holder, even though it was him making these transactions?

If you’re thinking ‘just ask him’, that would be pointless: He has a long previous history of lying, emotional abuse, passive aggressive behaviour. Better that I try to find out as much as possible myself first. Can private detectives do stuff like this? Or forensic accountants?
Thanks in advance.

OP’s posts: |
imonyourway Tue 23-Feb-21 15:55:18

If the old account is a joint account, you can call the bank and ask (presuming you are the other account holder?)

You can get all statements sent to you quite legally if that is the case.

imonyourway Tue 23-Feb-21 15:57:20

And if he has Applepay set up on your regular joint account, you can get info on those as well?

And try to find an Etsy account in his name?

Worse case, close the old account down?

Bentoforthehorde Tue 23-Feb-21 15:59:29

Why the hell are you with this guy?

TeeBee Tue 23-Feb-21 16:05:08

He sounds a catch! Why are you with someone you can't trust? It sounds ingrained.

Devlesko Tue 23-Feb-21 16:07:38

Either a mistress, gambling, over spending on clothes again.
Drugs, only you know what he's capable off.
It doesn't look good though.
Ask the bank for ststements to be sent to you from the old account and then you'll just have to tell him you know everything and see his face drop.

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 23-Feb-21 16:08:21

What would you do if you do find out more about where this money is going?. Confront him?.

And you are still with him because.....

Honestly how much lower here are you going to allow yourself to sink at his hands?.

Viviennemary Tue 23-Feb-21 16:11:04

With that level of subterfuge and secrecy I would be asking for a divorce ñever mind an explanation of his dodgy dealings

endlesswicker Tue 23-Feb-21 16:13:28

This sounds very much like money laundering to me. Paying cash into an account, transferring it from there to somewhere else, then transferring it to yet another account, then buying stuff, possibly to sell on. If his drugs form is anything to go by, any of these accounts are joint accounts, you could find yourself in very serious trouble indeed.

HollowTalk Tue 23-Feb-21 16:16:56

He's clearly up to something. You can ask a forensic accountant if you feel the amounts are big enough to warrant it.

usedandabusedx1000 Tue 23-Feb-21 16:17:23

Is the Apple Pay not just regular spending via an apple device instead of using your card? This all sounds very bizarre!

TheGoingIsGood Tue 23-Feb-21 16:18:26

Who said she wasn't going to leave him ?

If my Husband has secret money stashed away I'd want to know about it before I left him.

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred Tue 23-Feb-21 16:21:09

Honestly who gives a shit what it is, you can’t trust him and he’s up to no good. I was married to a man like this and drive myself half crazy trying to police him/finding out the truth. The day I told him to leave and meant it was the first day of the rest of my life.

Ditto previous poster that you want to get your name off that account sharpish and tell Pablo Escobar to fuck off.

SummerInSun Tue 23-Feb-21 16:24:45

There are forensic accountants who could work this stuff out, but I'm not sure any that are affordable for an individual (as opposed to a business trying to investigate fraud, white collar crime, etc). I agree with PP that for any accounts in your name, you order the bank statements and see if that tells you more.

Depending on how you want to play this, you could tell your husband that you checked the old account, saw transfers, and assume they must be fraud so you will be asking the bank to freeze all transfers in/out and investigate. Only problem is that you mustn't actually make an allegation of fraud to the bank if you don't think there was fraud, so saying this to your husband would be a bluff.

dogmandu Tue 23-Feb-21 16:25:45

if you are the account holder (which you are) Revolut should tell you where the money went

SplendidSuns1000 Tue 23-Feb-21 16:55:42

No advice but yes, etsy does have people selling drugs. I've seen weed brownies amongst other things. People sell cocaine disguised as bath products too.

PammieDooveOrangeJoof Tue 23-Feb-21 17:07:50

Prostitutes/cam girls?

PixelatedLunchbox Tue 23-Feb-21 17:09:13

If you’re thinking ‘just ask him’, that would be pointless: He has a long previous history of lying, emotional abuse, passive aggressive behaviour.

Jesus. Just get rid of this horrible man. Why would you waste another minute of your life trying to figure out what he is up to??

yetmorecrap Tue 23-Feb-21 17:10:38

How did you see the transactions on the old account -? If it’s not online, and you just saw on his revolut app- then set up online banking on that account yourself and follow the trail. Revolut is mainly for currency transactions and switching between currencies- I use it as an overseas —

yetmorecrap Tue 23-Feb-21 17:11:58

Should say set up online banking on that old ‘not used’ joint account — unless he has done so already of course

LadyCatStark Tue 23-Feb-21 17:18:30

Child support?

My mind is a little bit blown by people selling drugs on Etsy!

dividedwefall Tue 23-Feb-21 17:22:58

Another possibility is that he is funneling money somewhere as a 'secret stash' for the future, in case you split or he leaves. He could have his own etsy account. buying stuff from himself to again funnel money somewhere. Just a possibility as I know women are supposed to make sure they have a separate cushion in case the worst should happen.

dividedwefall Tue 23-Feb-21 17:26:41

Also shocked at people selling drugs on Etsy. Starting to feel old grin

WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo Tue 23-Feb-21 17:29:43

Either cam girls, only fans, prostitutes or drugs
Or is planning to leave and syphoning money off so he has extra.
Whatever it is, he's awful.

notapizzaeater Tue 23-Feb-21 17:32:27

Etsy sells drugs ? ((Clutches pearls))

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