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Start using Mumsnet PremiumLeaving - renting and kids
(9 Posts)I need to leave my marriage. I just need to. I need to stop thinking about it and worrying about it, because I KNOW that once I do it and get past the difficulty of it, we will all be much happier.
I've figured it all out and I think I will manage if I sell the family home and rent.
How does it all work though?? I don't have any money to put down as rental deposit, until I would have the money from the house?
Rental's seem to get snapped up in an instant near me, so I imagine I need to find somewhere to rent pretty much last minute, and the thought of this stresses me out.
I have 4 kids and an elderly grandparent who will need to stay with me. Moving on my own with all of them is going to be such a task. A monumental task. I need to do it though.
Any practical tips from anybody who has done this? I could cry and wallow in bed for a week, but where is the time to do that? I am so so tired of living in a cloud of stress. I just want peace!
Why can't he leave?
There are 6 of you and one of him
He can leave, but I can’t afford this house on my own. If I rent, I would get some housing benefit and manage. we wouldn’t have enough equity in the house to go past the cut off for claiming.
Nothing useful to add and more knowledgeable posters will be able to help but just want to say well done. It's a hard but brave thing to do to make sure you and your children are happy 🌹
I think you're overthinking it. It's pretty normal to find somewhere quite close to when you need to move, within a month or so, as landlords don't want properties sitting vacant for too long. Normally, you wouldn't even get your deposit back until after you moved out, so you are actually in a good position that you will have money for a deposit available before. If no where suitable comes up, do you have a plan B, somewhere you could stay temporarily while you looked?
Also, I would speak to the landlords and explain your situation. You may be able to find someone who is willing to accept you as a tenant with the agreement that deposit will be paid by such and such date when you sell your house. It's been a tough year for everyone and you may find that they can be more flexible than you think. We managed to negotiate the monthly rent of a property down just by getting the landlord to take a liking to us.
Councils have previously helped with deposits, might be an avenue to try. Maybe speak to Shelter.
However the more sensible plan would be to stay and get him to move. Do you know mortgage payments? It is usual to get interim payments ahead of a divorce. This would include sufficient money for housing the children.
Get some legal advice as there will be a way forward
Put house on market, get a buyer, ask for four weeks between exchange and completion. At exchange point you get the buyers deposit, use this to reserve a rental. Worth also speaking to letting agents, be super friendly and they may give you heads up on property due to come onto the rental market
Are you sure you haven't underestimated how much you would get if you split? Have you sought legal advice?
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